francie yuhas

My doctor prescribed 15 minutes of quilting a day...I'm a real workaholic! I do what I was told! You'd be surprised what you get done in that short time.

earthwalker

I am guessing there are only two of you in the home....If one of you is now retired and the other still working....seems to me there is currently an unfair work/life balance. Gender does not exclude a person from certain domestic tasks. For many years my husband was at home with the kids/house whilst I worked full time....he is an excellent cook, domestic engineer and volunteered at school etc. Over the years we have reversed the roles, and currently I am mostly at home and he is in full-time work....he will be retiring soon and I am keen to get back to work at least part time. The secret is to sit down and if you have to, write out a fair list of who is to do what...we haven't had to do that as we both just got into the habit of sharing things evenly around....Each of you needs time and space to do things of their own...hobbies, whatever. We are both pretty independent, stubborn individuals who choose to share a life....neither of us is in need of "taking care of" or "mothering" and we are from a quite different age group and ethnicity....(he's 63 and I'm 49), it's not about stereotypes or tradition it is about respect and quality of life.

Oops...on my soapbox there....I don't mean to be strident or hard about stuff.....still do sweet things for each other, special treats, romance etc....just don't let one be the only number in the equation.

SpringBird

I have found that if I break down my chores into a weekly chart I can keep the house presentable if not sparkling. For instance the schedule for the kitchen is dishes every night. Mon-wipe down counter on east side, tuesday north side, wed is floors, thur west, fri shine the table, Sat -stove Sund menu plan
I have scheduled to clean/clear something in every room each day and then I am never overwhelmed. this is a little OCD but I have found it helpful to have some control over my life.

quiltingcandy

I stopped working a year before my husband and I did all the cooking, most of the cleaning (I have had a cleaning lady for the past several years and refuse to give her up) and his only home chore really was mowing the lawn once a month. After he retired he felt it should remain that way - I couldn't even get him to take the trash out. Then a friend of ours came to visit and my DH is telling him that he refuses to mow the lawn unless I pull the weeds, and his friend told him that was just wrong, he was capable of pulling weeds, the friend asked when was the last time he washed the clothes, changed the sheets, or cleaned the toilet. My DH hadn't thought of any of those things because he was never home to know how it got done. I was raised if a job needs to be done, the person that has the time, gets it done.

Finding time while I was working - when I did the laundry I would sew. I cannot stand to leave clothes in the dryer or in a basket once they are clean and would immediately hang it up or fold it as it came out of the dryer., It would normally take 5 loads to get it all done, so figured it was a fair exchange, while waiting. Things like grocery shopping and running errands were done on my way home from church - or if we went out to dinner we would stop and shop on our way home. It was cheaper to shop for groceries on a full stomach.

You need to take the time and not feel guilty about it - everyone needs to do something they enjoy but don't stress yourself out trying to do it. The wonderful thing about quilting, it waits for you. The sad part is, sometimes when you go back to it your tastes change and you may look at the fabric and ask yourself, "What was I thinking when I bought that?"

noveltyjunkie

Lots of useful advice there. For me the answer is that sometimes I just do not find the time. But it helps if you set your priorities clearly in your head first. Resources tend to flow towards priorities.

Not sure what you mean by maintenance of husband. I know I feel bad not spending time with mine after we've been apart all day. He cooks me dinner and we spend nice time over that. That's relationship maintenance!

Annaquilts

I put sewing before many other things. I have to, to stay sane.

Mdaniels

Ha ha. Love it. My husband is retired too. I have to say he's been pretty good about doing chores, even when I don't ask him to. I prefer he never, ever cooks in my little kitchen...that's a disaster waiting to happen. Lol.

Still...I am tired when I get home. I choose to cook. I do some pick up and some other things--but I am, indeed tired. I try to do the 15 minutes a night thing--no matter what, I fiddle for 15 minutes at quilting, just to keep my head in it. Then I pick a couple of nights a week to quilt for an hour and I do a lot more on the weekends. I also enjoy running and have a very active border collie to keep exercised--so--yes, its tiring. You just have to keep at it and rest when you can, too.

lots2do

I could have written your post except that my DH is semi-retired and does most of the cooking and the dishes. I took last Sunday to sew as much as I wanted and it was great. I kept asking myself why I don't do this more often. So...I plan to whenever I can. It's harder to do after a day at work, but I've been working on a redwork project after supper. As someone mentioned, this lets me keep the hubby company after I've been gone all day. My new resolution is to shoot for two whole sewing days a month at the least. I think that's doable.

BarbaraTX

When I was working full time, people asked would ask me when I found the time to quilt. Easy, don't cook or clean. Plenty of time to quilt. (Of course, I did cook and clean, but easy throw together meals, and a lick and a promise on the cleaning.). A preacher's wife once told me, "in a hundred years, who's going to remember your clean house?" Hopefully, someone will have one of my quilts a hundred years from now.

lclang

Take inventory. If there are things on that list that you would rather not do, or would rather quilt than do, dump them. I always found time to quilt and sew, even when I had five kids at home and worked several jobs. I quilted early and late, while the potatoes boiled, until the oven dinged, while I waited for a load of clothes to dry, etc. etc. maybe only a few minutes at a time but I kept at it and it is amazing how much you can do. I called it steady by jerks quilting!