BellaBoo

I ask DH to read the posts made on this topic and he said Where did these husbands get the king of the castle mindset from? Got me to thinking. His mom died when he was very young and he had two older sisters, they ruled the roost in that house. I was raised by my grandmother who had no tolerance for grandpa or her five sons when they felt they needed to strut their stuff thinking they wore the pants in the house. I remember when my uncle was married a month and my grandmother told him she had better not ever hear him talk to his wife again like he was her boss. And then she told the wife she wasn't put on earth to cater to her son's every wish, so grow a pair. LOL.

missionslady

I know that must hurt, as quilting has become part of your identity, a creative expression and something that brings you joy. My husband of almost 45 years was fine all the years I sewed for the children. When I turned to quilting, he just didn't get it. Why in the world would anyone want to buy fabric to cut up in little pieces just to sew it all up again? Why not just buy a blanket? But then, I've never gotten his love of football either. Why in the world would anyone want to sit and watch guys kick or toss a piece of pig skin up and down a field? If you've seen one, you've seen them all:-) So we understand that we will probably never agree on these topics. I try to be flexible. When his games are on, I'm usually in my sewing room quilting away. When he wants us to watch a Hallmark movie or something, I have hand piecing that I can work on. I always try and have handwork to work on in waiting rooms or when we make car trips. He does comment that the things I make are pretty, and he is proud when I give something I've made as a gift. I think they just need to know that they are still first place in our lives, and as long as we keep that a priority, cook their favorite meal etc., they are reassured and more tolerant with us for the things that are meaningful to us. No doubt there are many on this board who can relate to some elements of what you shared. May I send a hug along with a hang in there. You are right; it is important that you pursue hobbies that bring you joy. I've faced some health issues in recent years along with caring for my mother-in-law who lives with us. My mother who lived in a nursing home died this summer, and also my step-grandson. When I went for my 6 mo. check-up, my doctor looked me squarely in the eye and told me that it was vital that I have hobbies and pursue them. I made sure to pass that information on to my husband, and I think it helped him to understand. Thanks so much for sharing!

gvolle44

so make him a cool quilt to wrap up in while he watches TV - or quilt him a remote control holder arm-chair quilt... Use selective hearing, works great!

Sewlady43

Men are.... boys! Some grow ... others just get taller and are bigger boys! You do what makes you happy and enjoy it and make lots of friends with other women who enjoy it too. He doesn't understand.... or doesn't want to... and thats ok. His choice. You two may not agree about this.... but thats ok... you don't have to agree with everything another person thinks or says.... but you should respect each other and differing outlooks. Good luck and keep on quilting... its so fulfilling in a world that is sometimes dissapointing!! Bev (Been There!)

slk350

Oh my, I thought I had the only husband that always has something to say about my quilting...whenever I'm hand quilting on the dining room table..I hear it. You waste so much time on that , he would rather have me cleaning or doing anything but quilting. He actually wants me to go to our sons house and clean for him and do his wash**&^^)%$#!! I don't think so..I can't even keep our big house clean. If I'm sewing on my alterations, that's OK because I'm making $$$. Even when I made a real sand "sand castle" wedding card holder for our daughter's up coming wedding he had something to say...Then I made wood boxes for the seating, ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket...I don't even know why he gets angry. He watches TV at night and has no hobbies. Even if I'm on the computer for longer than he thinks I should be...I hear it. Glad I'm not the only one !! We've been married for over 32 years !!!

slk350

I feel the same way about football...I say it's a bunch of over grown boys chasing a ball all over a field and jumping on toop of each other LOL

laalaaquilter

Dianne, I was stunned by your post...and thought surely this must be an unusual, rare, situation. Then I scrolled down the page and saw that there were already SEVENTEEN pages of responses. Super big sister hug to you. Do you have contact (outside of our virtual one here) with people who value your quilt work? Perhaps if your D?H were to hear and see people that he respected laud your efforts his opinion might soften.

Elsewise, he needs a hobby and man time with other men too. When he retires and sits home watching TV all the time....UGH I don't even want to think about it! Try to get him to bond with some men from church or any other affiliation so that you are not his only social outlet.

Best wishes Honey, and keep quilting proud!

Berta48

So sorry tohear that.

My DH says whatever makes me happy makes him happy.
He hasn't hobbies either but he always tells me my projects look nice. He even goes to the craft shows with me and helps.

Have you asked him why he doesn't want you quilting?
I sure hope he comes around but you gave him a very good answer :thumbup:

I quilt in the daytime and spend my evenings with DH and we watch TV and eat popcorn.Seems to work for us :thumbup:

TanyaLynn

When I'm not vitally interested in some project, and now it is quilting, then I have enough time on my hands to start asking ( usually referred to as nagging) my husband about the repairs he promised to do but didn't. If I have a LOT of time on my hands then I sometimes call some professional to come do the repair which really ticks dh off. I always say"You had so long to do it, you forgot about it." and then he says, "Can't you find a hobby or something to keep you busy?" When we're watching sports and I don't want to, i find it necessary to ask him to explain so many things about the game, or I argue with him about the umpires call that he says, "Can't you find something else to do?" Except for the Superbowl - that's sacred and I am respectful as every football widow is expected to be.

Things could be a lot worse. My SIL has his tv rigged so he can see 4 different games on the same screen at the same time! He had to get a 60 inch to do it - someday he'll just have a whole wall for football season.

madamekelly

Tell him sewing keeps you from doing things you shouldn't. Let him think about that for a while! :thumbup: