AtHomeSewing

Time goes by so quickly, soon you won't even remember what those arguments were about. Sometimes they stem from a natural process of separating. After all, if our kids always remained as cooperative and sweet as they were when they were tiny, well, we'd never let them go!

The arguments can serve a purpose too. My "baby" girl argued a lot, and was persistent as a rat terrier. As it turned out, she grew up to argue for a living, so just consider that your own daughter may be honing her future skills. (:

Hang in there!

loopywren

Having had three daughters i do so agreee with you, and remind you it will pass.

Lisa

Maybe you could figure out and decide the night before what she will wear the next day. That way you could get the argument out of the way before morning!!

loopywren

Good idea but probably wouldn't work... she would have changed her mind by morning!!!!!

Ramona Byrd

The next 5 or so years will be a tricky dance between wanting to bang her on the head with the nearest heavy object, and wanting for her to remain your pretty, well mannered little girl.

Trust me, she will wind up (okay, sometime in the future) to be a good friend. Hopefully, you will still be sane enough to still want her to be a friend.

For mine, they griped and moaned and yelled, swore that never would they raise THEIR kids like they were, they were going to be perfect parents. And then I laughed to myself when they called me in shock to say that when they opened their mouths to their own kids, they could hear MY voice coming out, saying the same things!!

Just be calm, listen to her rantings and ravings, and choose your battles. As for tramp like clothes...once I took my then 17 year old granddaughter shopping. She came out of the dressing room looking like someone my brother might have arrested on a street corner!! So I promptly told her I Loved her outfit, it made me remember how darling with her play outfits she had been as a small child, sniff into a handkerchief. She marched back into the dressing room and came out wearing something else not quite as ghastly, so I merely grumbled at what her mother (my daughter) would say about it. By then I knew better than to say it was acceptable. That one I bought for her. (Note, she is now an RN) and other GD is in college.

Also, on iron clad curfew hours, I am not a friendly person (read=NASTY) when I wake from a sound sleep. So I set an alarm clock right outside my bedroom door, and they had darn well be on time to shut it off, otherwise, I'm waiting for that front door to open, and I'm not in a friendly mood.

KatFish

Both of my daughters wanted to ware more revealing clothing than I wanted them to ware in Jr. High. My rule was you can ware what you want, BUT if I find it way to revealing, I WILL show up to school to eat lunch with you and I Will be waring a moomoo, bunny slippers, and have my hair in rollers. I Will introduce myself to all of your friends as their Mom. This threat was enough to do it. By High school they went with the redneck look of t-shirts and jeans.

Please don't judge me. I was desperate to win that war.

quiltnmom

I am actually very glad to have read the first few posts here. I was starting to think that I was the only one that wanted to pinch their 14 year old daughters head off.

lab fairy

I am so glad my daughter is past this point but I remember it well. I called it WAR and it was HELL. Just to make sure it was nasty, she defied me as much as possible. Fortunately for me the kid was intelligent as well as very pretty (modeling agencies called often). Her perspective of the male populace was they must be inferior mutants because they acted so stupid (did I mention she had an older brother?). There is hope, mine is in graduate school studying botanical pathogens.

The make-up thing is really fairly easy to solve. Go get a complete professional make-over. Have someone explain skincare, how make-up should enhance and look natural not like you stroll the street, etc. It can even help if the person spends the time to do several looks. Photograph the session's progress and results. If nothing else, you will both have something to laugh at 7 years from now. Those before and after pictures can be a witch.

Clothes...hmmm.... My daughter was given the "Daddy Rule". All skirts had to pass the test. Her fingertips had to reach the hem (when you are taller than 6' this can be a challenge). Cleavage was a toughie until we just pestered the kid to death. Her brother actually solved that one (and no one asked, wasn't that sweet of him?). He kept throwing things like peanuts at her and she kept having to dig them out of the bra. She switched styles to bug her brother.

There is no perfect solution on this one. They all grow out of things. Styles change, etc. One thing still seems to stick around. Teenagers are mutants. I'm glad mine finally grew out of it.

GrammaNan

Do you say to yourself, "Who are you and what did you do with my daughter?" I know I did. Here are some things that helped.

She respected the opinion of her brothers, so if they didn't like it, she wouldn't wear it.

We laid out her clothes the night before and that stopped a lot of the arguing.

Make up consisted of mascara and lip gloss. She picked out other make up a little every year.

I am old school, when I drive by our local High School and see how our young women are dressed I can't believe it. I wouldn't wear any of it to bed in the privacy of my own home let alone in public!

Fighting at her age seems to be her job at this time. My advice is to choose your battles carefully and love her unconditionally.

Gramof6

I was called the "Strict Mom". But my girls knew where I drew the line with excessive makeup and modest clothing. We did not have too much of a problem and thank heavens both grew up to be beautiful ladies.

I took them for makeovers when they started wanting to wear makeup so they could be taught the proper way to apply and just how much or little. I also gave maybe more priveledges for some things as long as we did not have to fight over it. If we argued or fought or they rebelled, they lost their priveledges. Put it on their back if they had to be reprimanded or priveledges removed. This will pass & it will be something else.LOL I hope you get her raised & never have to say "I wish we were arguing about clothes or makeup." {{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}}