QultingaddictUK

Had to have a grin at that solution because there really is no tactful one, it seems that she may be lonely and wants attention and no matter what you say will end it two ways, 1) She won't take a blind bit of notice or 2) She will get tearful and upset and leave making you all feel guilty and petty.

miriam

I think you put my thoughts into words.

oklahomamom2

I agree with Divo, I would see if the leader would talk to the group before going to retreat. Does she have any one friend in the group that could help her one on one? " You said She needs to take care of it herself and not expect others to stop and help her." She might have learned that before quilting-expecting others to just stop what there doing and help her. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way if you, explain in the right way, she might understand that some of us started out on our own. That know one just one day cut out our our pieces and said make a quilt. This coming from someone that can't measure with rulers but can still quilt. The point is her making the quilt makes it hers and tell her if you do it, it defeats the purpose of her making it.

Aurora

We never have one person in charge -- just one who thinks she is in charge. Basically, at a retreat we just all do our own thing because we all brought projects we wanted to complete. This does not mean that we aren't willing to offer support and encouragement. We had one member who went on a retreat with us and we were playing cards one night and she told us that the retreat was the best vacation she had ever had. That was such a surprise to hear and made us all very happy. The last retreat we went on was about two years ago and there were only six of us and we all worked and played together. It was great.

adamae

How about the person, not the instructor, who gives unsolicited advice from their perspective. I have always been taught to keep advice to oneself unless someone actually asks for it. Have good manners changed that much?

bjchad

How about setting specific and limited times to get or give help. Say at 10:30 there will be a half hour help break and then again at 2:00 or whenever. Post the times. That way if she really needs help she gets some but the time frame is limited. Then don't let the time run longer than the stated time. Or not by much.
Then if she asks at another time you can point to the next available help time and you can tell her the rest of the time is ME time, which is why you come.

Michellesews

We had a woman like that in our year-long BOM class. She would be talking while the instructor was explaining things...then ask a question which had to do with what she missed due to her constant talking. Sometimes it was as if she was talking to herself out loud. It was so very annoying and nothing seemed to stop her! Then, she would say, oh well, I'll just get (the instructor) to help me privately on Wednesday. She would bring her work to the store and this instructor more or less did her blocks for her. Personally, that's between the student and the instructor. However, I was paying $15.00 for each and every class and the constant talking nearly caused me to lose my religion! Now I find out this same person is attending a very expensive, 2-day workshop this weekend that I have been looking forward to for months. I'm PRAYING she will behave herself or that I can behave myself!!!!

auntnana

I have a mean streak so I wear my shirt to class that says "I quilt because punching people is frowned upon". I am usually left alone and not distracted by anyone wanting to chit-chat. Of course that mean streak has also led me to say to the instructor "I'm sorry can you repeat that? I could hear over the other talking" and shoot a look at the offender. But that was only in one instance when EVERYONE was irritated by the one wanting special attention. I actually had 2 people thank me after class for shushing her. Sorry but if I can find the time from a full time job and farm chores, pay my hard earned money to take a class, and you're going to be rude and inconsiderate, I am going to call you out on it. In a polite way, that is.

auntnana

Amen! Growing up my sister was nicknamed the mouth of the south she talked so much. I'm kinda quiet so way back when my beau first met her it took him by surprise. One night (after a couple of years fitting in with the family) she was particularly chatty and he said "Silence in golden. Duct tape is silver. Pick one." I nearly wet myself laughing so hard at the look on her face! Now it's an inside joke and he just says "gold or silver"?

HouseDragon

!!!!! Best solution yet for those who just won't shut up no matter how polite everyone's been up to that point!