to those with kids

Old 08-30-2013, 04:47 AM
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How old would you consider a child should be when you expect them to respond to a gift with politeness and thanks, even if they don't care for it?
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Old 08-30-2013, 05:27 AM
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Doesn't that begin from day one?

...With the parent responding for the child
...... then the parent teaching the child to say "tanks" (h-intentionally missing) as they learn to speak
......... then the child mirroring the parents actions
............ then the parent asking the child if they said thank you, and nudging them til they do
............... and so on and so on ..................


For the I don't like its ... isn't that something the parent teaches from the beginning too, with some behind the scenes discussions about gracious appreciations?
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Old 08-30-2013, 05:31 AM
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IMHO, as soon as they can talk intelligently. I think it's up to the parents to start at an early age teaching them to say thank you, even if its over the phone. I thought I taught my boys that, but after the oldest, now 43, left home he stopped. Even now, if I send something to his family, none of them acknowledges it and my DIL is a pre-K teacher. So, sadly I stopped sending anything.
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Old 08-30-2013, 05:56 AM
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By age 6 without prompting from mom. It's a learned reaction even though the child may not know what it means yet. But sadly many moms don't have that learned reaction to teach the child the same.
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Old 08-30-2013, 06:13 AM
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I have teens and there have been a couple times they have received gifts that were completely inappropriate.

Hoochie pants for a 13 year old girl? Extremely violent video games.

I have taught my kids it is okay to say thank you for the gift, but I cannot accept it. They are free to use me as the reason why. My Mum will not let me where clothes that tight or short, my mum does not allow games with excessive violence.

I think kids should know how to graciously accept, but also decline a gift.

We have had a strange situation this year with gifts from my dad. I am not sure if dementia is setting in or what. He gave both kids gifts that would be appropriate for babies or toddlers. Nursery Rhyme piggy banks. These were for 15th and 17th birthdays.

My nephew and nieces are all under 5, maybe he got the same gifts for all the kids, but it is strange to give a teen a baby gift.
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Old 08-30-2013, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Tothill View Post
..........We have had a strange situation this year with gifts from my dad. I am not sure if dementia is setting in or what. He gave both kids gifts that would be appropriate for babies or toddlers. Nursery Rhyme piggy banks. These were for 15th and 17th birthdays.............
In your Dad's defence ... consider this!
There are some teens that would think it's a hoot to get such gifts. My nieces were Sesame Street Fans and right thru University loved getting anything connected to the SS character that was their favourite.

And too, it could be that your Dad was in a store and asked, if it was appropriate for all his Grands from 0 thru 17, .... and with the encouragement of the clerks took their advice and bought one gift for all, to keep it equal, fair and square. He may have bought these with great love and thought on his part, and thinking he had done right.
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Old 08-30-2013, 07:18 AM
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As soon as they're born, you should tell them "You should be grateful you are beginning a new phase of life and say Thank You Lord!" Then upon the receipt of any gift to anyone around them, they should hear the gratitude and acknowledgment. When they grow up and give you something no matter what they should hear the words, I appreciate your efforts or thank you for doing that for me. What ever you pass onto them, they will pass on to others. Another thing that needs to be passed on are apologies. I don't understand why some parents don't feel the need to apologize to their children, like "I'm sorry, I gave you the wrong information". It shows you are accepting responsibility for your actions. They may have had to pay the consequences for your actions.
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Old 08-30-2013, 07:54 AM
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the first thing I taught my son to do was to b gracious. at about two, at his birthday, I told him before the party started to say thank you to everyone. he thanked them for the gifts and then as they left. from then on, he always said thank you to everyone, even when he left peoples houses.it never occurred to him not to say thank you.he's 23 and still does it. it shows respect. I still say thank you to him and to my dh, even if they are taking out the garbage. when we go to dinner on date night, I say thank you to my dh.
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Old 08-30-2013, 09:20 AM
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If the child has been taught correctly (and doesn't have a developmental or learning disability), by age 5 or so. Children with atypical issues (whether formally diagnosed or not) need to be given more time -- into their teens or twenties for some.

Unfortunately, many young parents these days do not understand how to parent and so do not explicitly teach their children these social interaction skills. As my dh says, "You need to buy a license to raise chickens, but you don't need a license to raise children."
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:09 PM
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I did this myself one time, forgetting how easily emberrased young girls can be. I bought bustiere purses for several nieces and granddaughters. The purses were really cute. The girls were from 10 to 25. One of my granddaughters was very emberrased over it. However, it was a learning experience.
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