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Thread: Would you prefer?

  1. #1
    Super Member valsma's Avatar
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    Would you prefer?

    That someone tell you the truth if you just don't click or remain silent and pretend that you don't exist?

    Personally I would rather have someone tell me that we just don't click as friends. Ignoring is much more hurtful and rude. Besides if there were a reason, it would be something I can work on.

    This is just something I have noticed in this so called technology age. It appears people don't have to deal with people face to face anymore so it is okay to be rude. This happens in personal as well as work life. Saddens me that the internet has done this because it is so much easier to discard people's feelings through the internet.

    Just an observation.
    Tammy

    Life Is A Banquet and Most Poor Suckers Are Starving!

  2. #2
    Super Member Murphy1's Avatar
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    It is even worse if it is your son. Because he doesn't answer emails, texts, phone messages or acknowledge gifts sent, this is super hurtful. We had a wonderful, no stress relationship for 32 years, then he married a woman who didn't want us in the picture. Soooo I think of what it must have been like for moms over one hundred years ago when their sons left for parts unknown. They must have wondered about them, just as I do, but then they didn't have iPhones, computers and digital imaging to keep in touch. I wonder what my son's excuse is? Sadly, when we were my son's age, my husband and I only had one parent (my Mom) still living. It is harder I think to realize our son has both parents, but he has chosen to throw us and his sister away. I wonder if regrets will ever cross his mind. I don't think I will ever know. Has this happened to others here?
    Murphy1
    For our wonderful Golden Retriever adopted in March of 2010.

  3. #3
    Super Member Annya's Avatar
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    My elder brother has done that as well. He ignores our existence and mums as well. She is not a well woman and is living with my sister and it gets hard for her to have mum all the time. I do take Mum occasionally but that is tiresome having to move her pack up every couple of weeks to move to another house.

  4. #4
    Super Member auntpiggylpn's Avatar
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    I have a very strained and estranged relationship with my brother. I have no other family other than this brother and we are in our mid 40's. I would rather die alone than ever speak to him again. Too much (awful) history and situations that he cannot be forgiven for. I have friends that are my family and I know that they would never do the horrible things to me that my brother has done in the past. I guess I am the opposite of your situation because I am quite okay not seeing or speaking to him ever again.
    No one has ever become poor by giving. - Anne Frank
    Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

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  5. #5
    Power Poster Mariposa's Avatar
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    I have a younger brother that doesn't give us the time of day. Hasn't for years. Our Mom has passed on, but Dad is an hour from me. My brother decided he didn't want to be around Dad either. Sad, but I am moving forward. Since brother has a high & mighty attitude, I don't need it! The Lord will send others into my life for me to love.
    Be a blessing to others, as you may entertain angels unaware!

  6. #6
    Super Member auntpiggylpn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariposa View Post
    I have a younger brother that doesn't give us the time of day. Hasn't for years. Our Mom has passed on, but Dad is an hour from me. My brother decided he didn't want to be around Dad either. Sad, but I am moving forward. Since brother has a high & mighty attitude, I don't need it! The Lord will send others into my life for me to love.
    My feelings exactly!
    No one has ever become poor by giving. - Anne Frank
    Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

    http://www.etsy.com/shop/TheQuiltedPig

  7. #7
    Super Member ptquilts's Avatar
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    As far as friends, I have been on the receiving end of the "cold shoulder", I am not sure if it would be better to hear the reason why. On the other hand, I have done it as well. We had a friend we stopped seeing as she has a large, obnoxious dog who has to be the center of attention during the whole visit. DH is NOT a dog person. Hints did not work.

    With family it hurts much, much, more. DH's oldest daughter went through a divorce 20+ years ago and stopped answering phone calls and letters. We tried to give her some space. Found out through another relative she had remarried and had a second kid. I can not tell you how much that hurts. We tried to re-establish contact with her and got what DH calls "the hate letter", detailing all the ways he was a bad father (basically he got remarried and had 2 more kids) and ending with "you were never there for me". When she ALWAYS knew where to find us and SHE is the one who disappeared. So DH has a GD he has not seen for 15 years and a GS he has never seen.

    Family, you gotta love em.

  8. #8
    j
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    I am in that club also, but he will stop in once a year hugs and then gone and not to be heard from again for a year or more. I just have finally given up- J.

  9. #9
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    I say let me know!! I am a big girl and can handle it and I won't be rude or take offense. I too feel that technology has taken away personal relationships and it is sad.

    I have a 1/2 brother that I refuse to speak too after his unforgivable actions, and my parents have been gone since I was a teenager. I have been blessed with many wonderful people throughout my life who cared for me better than my family every did. That being said I have a rule for "reciprocal communications"; I will contact you 3 times with offers to hang out, dinner, help etc......over a period of time; if I do not hear back from that person I just assume that they are not interested in my friendship and I move along; no hard feelings.

    I was raised away from my half brother and I am used to being solo; does not bother me in the least to do things by myself. Over time it seems that so many people are about "what can you do for me" rather than a mutual true friendship, I would rather be by myself with no friends than be around those that are dis genuine.
    Lisa

  10. #10
    Super Member Murphy1's Avatar
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    I guess there are many of us who share the sadness of losing family. Relationships are reciprocal and I have decided that the gifts I have made and the goodies I am baking to deliver on Tuesday will be my farewell to 2011 and farewell to my son as well. After a year of trying through all the channels available - phone, email, texting sending of gifts with no response - this is it. On a happy note I do have a wonderful daughter, a supportive husband and a close relationship with my little sister. It is his loss that he has tossed us away. I wish him well as he travels this life with the self centered b***h he married.
    Murphy1
    For our wonderful Golden Retriever adopted in March of 2010.

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