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Thread: Yesteryearwith Red Skelton

  1. #1
    Senior Member barb55's Avatar
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    RED SKELTON'S RECIPE :

    For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this e-mail. For those of you not old enough you will see what you missed. Either way, his humor was always clean and he was a great entertainer. A re-run of great 'one liners from the man who was known for his clean humor. I hope you get a chuckle or two reading them once more.

    RED SKELTON'S RECIPE
    FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE



    1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
    little beverage, good food and companionship.
    She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

    2. We also sleep in separate beds.
    Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas ..

    3. I take my wife everywhere,
    but she keeps finding her way back.

    4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
    "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
    So I suggested the kitchen.

    5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

    6. She has an electric blender, electric
    toaster and electric bread maker.
    She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
    to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

    7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
    because there was water in the carburetor.
    I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

    8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days.
    Then the mud fell off.

    9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
    for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".

    10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

    11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
    first name was 'Always'.

    12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
    I don't like to interrupt her.

    13. The last fight was my fault though.
    My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
    I said, "Dust!".

    Can't you just hear him say all of these?

    I love it. These were the good old days when humor
    didn't have to start with a four letter word.
    It was just clean and simple fun.
    And he always ended his programs with the words,

    "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.

  2. #2
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    Oh that's funny!!! Love them, loved him!! Thanks :D

  3. #3
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    Yes, I am old enough to remember Red Skelton, one of the funniest men I have heard. He was great, seems all the really good ones die way too young.
    Thanks for posting this.

  4. #4
    Super Member New Quilter's Avatar
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    I loved this!!! Thank you so much for bringing smiles to all of us today!!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Naomi

  5. #5
    Senior Member
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    Oh Boy, do I remember him. As I was reading these I pictured him telling each one and could even see his great smile. That was when comedy was good. Thanks for posting. :thumbup:

  6. #6
    Super Member butterflies5518's Avatar
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    He use to have Sunday dinner at my Grandmothers when my Mom was little - don't know the years, probaly late 40's early 50's. That was St. Louis, Mo. I remember watching him on TV when I was little too.

  7. #7
    Super Member
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    I do remember him. I loved watching him every week. I do miss that kind of clean humor.

  8. #8
    Marion Jean's Avatar
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    I just read these out loud to my husband - we both got a good laugh. And yes, we both remember watching Red Skelton on TV. He was certainly one of a kind :)

  9. #9
    Super Member
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    I remember Red Skelton from when I was little. I, too, miss humor that doesn't have foul language in it! Red was wonderful!!!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Unique Creations's Avatar
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    He was a very funny man, and I loved his skits and too.

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