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Thread: When people don't appear grateful for the quilt they are given...

  1. #11
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    People who do not quiltor do other crafty things honestly do not understand the amount of thought, time, planning and care that goes into each quilt(except maybe our husbands, and a select few). The joy has to come from us quiltmakers in knowing what we did for our loved ones. I will not give a quilt to someone who I KNOW will not appreciate the work involved. For example, my very best friend does not understand this. She thinks it is a waste of money and time. She won't get one. My kids appreciate my work. Last week I gave my son and future daughter in law a king size quilt at their wedding shower. They said nice things but I would have gotten a much bigger reaction at my guild. But I know they appreciate it. A funny side note.... I wanted to make them a wedding ring quilt... I showed them the pattern and asked them for a color scheme. They were not interested in that pattern at all.... Wow... I said no way will I make that then. They chose an easy fun and done quilt as you go pattern and chose the colors of their wedding..... They didn't know the outcome until the shower. They were thrilled. I guess I will make the double wedding ring for my younger son,.... or maybe even for myself!

  2. #12
    a regular here hazeljane's Avatar
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    My thought is that not everyone likes quilts. And more so, not everyone likes every quilt. I love love love to look at the photos here, but I do not love all the quilts- some are just not my style.

    When I make a quilt for a wedding or a baby quilt for folks I don't know well, i always send a note that says, in part:
    " I make my quilts to be used. If this quilt is not to your taste, please feel free to pass it along to someone who might enjoy and use it. "

    I would rather have them passed along than crammed in a closet for 20 years.

  3. #13
    sixfootroad's Avatar
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    Amen to seeing your gift used ~ no matter what it is. It speaks more than words can say ~ until you see your "gift" being used to cover the dirty motorcycle that is strapped into the back of the pickup truck! There were plenty of words said for that, but fortunately nobody else heard them!

  4. #14
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    I made the sleepy time quilt and it was not very good (my standers) but it is hanging on the baby's wall front and center they said that any one that can make things like that are great

  5. #15
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
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    My wedding shower was grueling - so many presents to open, it took forever. I did try to say nice things about everything, but then they would be shoving something else into my hands to open, and making sure they had the name right of who gave it to me, and I'm sure some things got overlooked. I barely got to glance at some things before they were passing them on.

    I do remember one baby shower where the mom received a hand-crocheted set of little lace booties, and there was a pause as the room fell silent and then twenty women said "Awwww" in unison. That had to be a gratifying moment for the maker!

  6. #16
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    I sometimes tell the person I give the quilt to "if you don't like it I will take it back" I have never gotten a quilt back, but lots of hugs and thank yous.

  7. #17
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    Healthy attitude, one we should all keep in mind.
    Quote Originally Posted by hopetoquilt
    I have seen alot of stories about people who didn't "appear grateful" for quilts they received. I just thought it would be a good idea to keep in mind...

    1. Many people, especially young ones, are very nervous as the center of attention at a wedding/baby shower. A better measure of how much they like a gift/quilt is how much it gets used and what they say about it later.

    2. Sometimes we catch people off guard giving them something as a surprise and they are speechless.

    I gave my cousin an Irish Chain queen sized quilt at a shower. She barely opened it to look at it but she was so nervous in front of all those people and so time pressured to open everything. She couldn't gush over a quilt and not gush over every single other gift. She later told me how much she loved it. I had also given her a lap sized scrap quilt for her engagement party. She didn't open gifts there, but her now husband came up to me months later and made a comment about how surprised he was that such radically different fabric could make such a cool quilt. (that's why they also got another quilt)

    I surprised my aunt with a quilt to thank her for helping me with my son. She didn't say much but later my cousin was "ripping into her" about how she was bragging to others about how she was now a quilt owner!

    Now I just assume that everyone I give a quilt to loves the gift.

  8. #18
    Super Member PaperPrincess's Avatar
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    But remember a gift is for the recipient, not something to make YOU feel good with their thanks and compliments! I always ask before I do something hand crafted and if they would prefer a gift card, they get a gift card. Life is too short.

  9. #19
    Super Member wvdek's Avatar
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    Thanks for the different and positive outlook.

    We just never know and should never assume.

    We never know what someone is really thinking or feeling.

  10. #20
    Senior Member aliaslaceygreen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glassquilt
    I don't give as much credence to gushy thank you-s spoken at showers as to the facial expressions & body language. I very much prefer to see the item used.
    Agreed... a funny story about my stepdaughters baby shower on Sunday...I heard that her aunt or great aunt, I don't know which was complaining to my mother in law (who is in the hospital and didn't attend) how she thought they were NEVER going to finish opening gifts, because after she opened them, she held up each item to show and then had to put each thing away/fold etc....

    I am scratching my head over this, because I don't know what the alternate option would be? Open, fling on floor, tear into next gift, and no one gets to see?

    If the poor girl had carried on over gifts more than she did (a reasonable excitement over the THIRD bottle brush) we'd STILL be there!!

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