Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast
Results 26 to 50 of 64

Thread: When people don't appear grateful for the quilt they are given...

  1. #26
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    2,549
    Quote Originally Posted by dd
    I gave my niece a Christmas table runner for a wedding present and never saw it the whole time they were married. She later remarried and we were at their house for Christmas when she pointed me to the coffee table and asked if it looked familiar. At first I said no but then I realized what it was. It fit their coffee table perfectly and it's been there every year since. Not sure if she used it during the first marriage or if maybe he didn't like it but sure was glad to see it being used.
    That's what happened with the Christmas table runner I made for one of the DIL's. Guess she didn't care for it on their dining table but every Holiday season she has it on the coffee table in the living room.

  2. #27
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    17,462
    Great post!!
    I don't make quilts for anyone but my family b/c I know they will appreciate them. If someone close to me remarks on one I've made I will gladly make them one.
    It's not that I get my feelings hurt- for me it's all the time and work involved. I want to know it will be used and enjoyed.
    Now that one of my boys is married I make sure my DDIL likes the colors before I make something. It's like art, as someone else said- subjective.

  3. #28
    Super Member vickig626's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Lansing, MI
    Posts
    1,041
    Blog Entries
    1
    I had an incident with my step-son when he got re-married. I spent months working on a quilt for them and using quality fabric so the cost wasn't "cheap".

    They loved it when they opened it, put it on their bed right away....excited to have a hand-made quilt.... all the usual thank you's! It made me happy they liked it.

    That winter, at a family funeral (of all things), my step-son asked me if I used Wal-mart batting in their quilt because it wasn't warm.

    Not knowing how to respond (partially due to the grieving of my brother-in-law), I just said "you need a little more fat on your bodies and NO NOT Walmart batting". I was so upset and hurt.

    Just because we live on a tight Soc.Sec. budget, I wanted to give them a nice wedding gift. Then to hear that, it crushed me.

    Bottomline..... no more handcrafted items from me.

  4. #29
    TheSevenYearStitch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Norman, OK
    Posts
    208
    My husband's grandmother is an expert quilter. Her work is amazing. A few years ago, I made everyone table runners for Christmas and I was antsy about giving her one since I'm no pro! But she appreciated it. Now, everytime we go visit, no matter what time of year, her poinsetta table runner is on the table and she points it out to everyone and tells them I made it for her! So even if some people don't appreciate my work, that always makes me feel good because I know she could outquilt me any day!

  5. #30
    Super Member quiltmom04's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    2,877
    It's so hard to tell from people's posts, but I get the gist that there are some quilters who want to give a handmade gift becasue they love to quilt, and others who make a quilt becasue they want every person at the shower to gush over it. If you (and I don't mean everyone here!) want to give a handmade quilt, then GIVE it, and know that you have done what you WANTED to do. If you want to give a handmade gift just to RECIEVE the amount of appreciation and accolates you think are due you, then give a gift card.

  6. #31
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Spring Lake, Michigan
    Posts
    858
    Quote Originally Posted by aliaslaceygreen
    Quote Originally Posted by Glassquilt
    I don't give as much credence to gushy thank you-s spoken at showers as to the facial expressions & body language. I very much prefer to see the item used.
    Agreed... a funny story about my stepdaughters baby shower on Sunday...I heard that her aunt or great aunt, I don't know which was complaining to my mother in law (who is in the hospital and didn't attend) how she thought they were NEVER going to finish opening gifts, because after she opened them, she held up each item to show and then had to put each thing away/fold etc....I am scratching my head over this, because I don't know what the alternate option would be? Open, fling on floor, tear into next gift, and no one gets to see?

    If the poor girl had carried on over gifts more than she did (a reasonable excitement over the THIRD bottle brush) we'd STILL be there!!


    I did attend a bridal shower where they set up an assembly line (literally) with bridesmaids opening the gift, handed gift to bride, bride said, "How nice", then next bridesmaid shoved card back into bag and stacked them. The bride never opened a box or showed anything off. I was never so disappointed. It was like they were trying to get out of there with the loot as fast as they could.
    I will never make this couple anything homemade. For her, everything has to be new and "top of the line."

  7. #32
    Super Member Buckeye Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Monroe, IN
    Posts
    2,285
    I make quilts for all my kids and grandkids, but never before discussing with them what pattern and colors they would like. Am in the process of collecting 24 different fabrics for my daughter's bargello. She didn't like any of the traditional patterns I showed her, but when she saw the bargello she was excited. Finally! I can't wait to get the remaining six fabrics and get started on it. I make all my quilts to be used and make sure the recipient knows they will stand up to washing/drying. Oldest granddaughter got one this past Christmas in Buckeyes colors and was thrilled, but didn't want to put it on her bed for fear of damage. Once I explained that it would be ok, it's been on her bed ever since!

  8. #33
    Super Member plainpat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Mid-West
    Posts
    3,808
    Blog Entries
    11
    Ditto.......DD has a quilt & pillows,wall hanging set I made 4 yrs ago.She chose the 2 colors, I chose the pattern.When we visited, I took a nap in the guest room & told my Grson to scoot up here with Grma. He said Mom said not to get on the good quilt.DD & I had a talk about it. The quilt is still there,but has been used. Bout time to make her a new quilt.Please let it be diff colors. LOL




    Quote Originally Posted by Buckeye Rose
    I make quilts for all my kids and grandkids, but never before discussing with them what pattern and colors they would like. Am in the process of collecting 24 different fabrics for my daughter's bargello. She didn't like any of the traditional patterns I showed her, but when she saw the bargello she was excited. Finally! I can't wait to get the remaining six fabrics and get started on it. I make all my quilts to be used and make sure the recipient knows they will stand up to washing/drying. Oldest granddaughter got one this past Christmas in Buckeyes colors and was thrilled, but didn't want to put it on her bed for fear of damage. Once I explained that it would be ok, it's been on her bed ever since!

  9. #34
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Norfolk, VA
    Posts
    4,983
    Blog Entries
    1
    I've been really lucky so far. I've only given a couple of quilts away and they were loved. I have though, given my sister a couple of gifts that even though she thanked me I could tell by her face it wasn't her. After that I told her that if I ever give her anything she didn't like she was welcome to give it to her kids or grandkids and I was fine with that. She said it wasn't that she didn't like what I gave her it just wasn't her style. I was hesitant to make her a quilt but when I found a fabric that I thought she'd like I made a sample of it w/the cathedral window and took it home with me to show her what I was working on. She said now that I like; so guess what she's getting for Christmas. I know she appreciated what I had given her in the past and I know she would have kept them so I wanted to give her the option of getting rid of them to others in the family and having 3 kids and 12 grandkids it was easy to do.

  10. #35
    Senior Member CircleSquare's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    northeast Georgia
    Posts
    660
    I only read the first page of comments to this thread, but here are my thoughts:
    First, yes, it's nice to know your labor of love is appreciated. But I don't do all that work just to get a thank you. The time spent working on a quilt is time loving the recipient. That love is unconditional. It doesn't depend on their thanks. And no matter what their reaction to the gift, I still had the incredible joy of making it. That's my reward.

  11. #36
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Broadway, Shenandoah Valley, VA
    Posts
    469
    When I gave my grand daughter (9) a quilt, she loved it and oohed and ahhed over it. Fun batiks, flip flop patterns. I backed it with lime Minky (sp?). I told her to enjoy it and use it.
    When I was crawling (ugh) into the back of their GMC (side doors were locked) I had to step over a pile of "stuff" and there was the quilt!!! All rolled up, part of their equipment. But, you know what? I was happy it was being used and, after all, I HAD told her to enjoy it and use it however she wanted to!! I'm sure it was taken to football practices and swim practices and meets.
    On the other hand, the quilts I made for my son and DIL's children are strategically showcased in their rooms. To each his own, I say. I'm glad to know they're being used HOWEVER, and each grandchild will eventually have a quilt from Grandma!

  12. #37
    Member tdvxh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Location
    Trenton NJ
    Posts
    87
    I made a wall hanging for my step-daughter and her husband about 5 years ago. I have never seen it since. I had their names on it so they can't gift it to someone else. I often wonder where it is but don't want to ask. Needless to say, they won't get another one.

  13. #38
    Super Member KathyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,512
    One other thing to remember is that some people don't use things that they think are precious because they don't want to lose them or wear them out. My sister has a very pretty necklace and earrings made of small rubies that she never wears. Her son gave it to her years ago for a Christmas present. She thinks that it is too precious to wear.

    Some people are the same way about the quilts we make. They love them so much they don't want to use them and wear them out.

  14. #39
    Super Member plainpat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Mid-West
    Posts
    3,808
    Blog Entries
    11
    When DH's Grmother died, we found stacks of Christmas gifts, including a red half slip she'd said she'd always wanted.All were in boxes....what a sad thing. After that,I got over any "too good to use" thoughts I'd ever had.



    Quote Originally Posted by KathyKat
    One other thing to remember is that some people don't use things that they think are precious because they don't want to lose them or wear them out. My sister has a very pretty necklace and earrings made of small rubies that she never wears. Her son gave it to her years ago for a Christmas present. She thinks that it is too precious to wear.

    Some people are the same way about the quilts we make. They love them so much they don't want to use them and wear them out.

  15. #40
    Super Member callie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    In the Panhandle of Texas
    Posts
    1,091
    Great advice. I was in the process of making my daughter a double sided quilt - one side Dresden Plate with hummingbirds embroidered in the middle, and the other side has embroidered hummingbirds, a few cardinals and calla lilies. She loved the second side and said she probably would never have the Dresden Plate showing. Also didn't care for the sashing color, so we went to the store and got a color she did like. Hence I am making two quilts, instead of one that's double-sided (LOL). Lesson learned, and now will ask my son what colors he wants and maybe pattern as well.

  16. #41
    Member bonnielass's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Wellsboro, PA
    Posts
    79
    I have made quilts for years,and all were gifts. Some I know are used and some are stored. I gave them as a gift, their choice as to how they use them.

  17. #42
    Super Member Butterflyblue's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,438
    Quote Originally Posted by quiltmom04
    It's so hard to tell from people's posts, but I get the gist that there are some quilters who want to give a handmade gift becasue they love to quilt, and others who make a quilt becasue they want every person at the shower to gush over it. If you (and I don't mean everyone here!) want to give a handmade quilt, then GIVE it, and know that you have done what you WANTED to do. If you want to give a handmade gift just to RECIEVE the amount of appreciation and accolates you think are due you, then give a gift card.
    I make quilts as gifts for three reasons: I like to quilt, I like to give gifts that are appreciated, and yes, I like it when my work is admired. If I don't feel the gift of a quilt will be appreciated, and that a gift card or a shower curtain would be more appropriate/appreciated, I give that. Because no matter how much I like to make things, I know that when I give a gift, it is not for me but for the recipient. However, I'd be lying if I said I get as much enjoyment out of that, because I really do love it when my work is admired. It's not the reason I make things or give them, but it's a nice perk. I was really disappointed when I couldn't finish my sister's baby quilt in time to give it at her shower, because while I still finished it and gave it to her, and I'm happy that she really liked it and used it, I missed out on a great audience for the quilt I worked hard on. It's a fleeting reward, and not a make-or-break thing, though. I give quilted gifts even if I know I won't be there to see the reaction.

  18. #43
    Senior Member skowron5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Wallace, Michigan
    Posts
    452
    My nephew is a Univ of Michigan fan. I made him a quilt when he was young. I was down visiting a couple of years later and it was shoved in the back of his closet. He was too you to understand. I hope that now he is older he appreciates it.

  19. #44
    Super Member KSue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Henderson, NV
    Posts
    1,626
    I don't know a lot about how the people use my quilts I give to them but my little granddaughter, just last week, had her Christmas quilt spread over the carpet in her bedroom playing with her toys. I think she likes it!!

  20. #45
    Super Member barri1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Woodmere, NY
    Posts
    1,420
    Think I might be a little weird.. I've been making quilts for select people.. and I don't need to get anything out of it.. I just see a need that they might have.. Okay.. So what am I talking about? I made a quilt for a 5yo daughter of an employee of mine.. The child is a beautiful child.. The mother on the other hand has major ADHD issues, and is extremely self centered. The child knows her mom has a problem.. Both were in love with the quilt, and I know it will be respected, and cherished..
    I just started five quilts for myself, and staff.. I'm using my scraps,, and making the same quilt for all.. Planning on making the label with the name of the quilts " The sisterhood of the quilt". I'm planning on having a party, where they will have to write on the labels something nice about the recipient of the quilt.. It's going to be a bonding party.. Is it needed.. Yup.. Do I expect to get anything out of it? I don't care.. I don't need it..
    Barri

  21. #46
    Super Member donnalynett's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,318
    And then on the humerous side.....while my Dad was in the hospital recovering from major heart surgery, I asked him if he would like for me to make him a quilt. His reply:
    "No, quilts are for old people"! Since he is "only" 84 I guess I will have to wait for awhile to make him a quilt when he gets "old".

  22. #47
    Senior Member Anna.425's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Bellevue, WA
    Posts
    727
    I have a sister in law who most would consider to be the rudest, most in grateful person on the planet. She never EVER thanks anyone for gifts, we never know if she liked something and would throw out gifts given to her kids if she didn't like them. Out of respect for my brother I would never ignore her birthday or Christmas. Over the years I have come to know that if I give her a gift that I am proud to give someone then I am okay with the universal karma and she can take a flying leap.

  23. #48
    Super Member chuckbere15's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Madison Heights, MI
    Posts
    1,092
    Blog Entries
    4
    I to have been let down at gift opening time, but later on I find out different. I made a rail quilt out of scraps and gave it to one of my dear friends. I knew at the time I gave it that he liked the gift but I just didn't get the feeling that he was over Moyer. However, he came camping with us and guess what blanket he brought to sleep in the trailer. My quilt! It made me happy to think that he thought enough of the gift to be using it.

  24. #49
    Super Member justflyingin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Jozefow, Poland
    Posts
    4,502
    Quote Originally Posted by chuckbere15
    I to have been let down at gift opening time, but later on I find out different. I made a rail quilt out of scraps and gave it to one of my dear friends. I knew at the time I gave it that he liked the gift but I just didn't get the feeling that he was over Moyer. However, he came camping with us and guess what blanket he brought to sleep in the trailer. My quilt! It made me happy to think that he thought enough of the gift to be using it.
    Yes. A high compliment to your friendship and his fond feelings for the quilt.

  25. #50
    Senior Member alapetitechaise's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    481
    I too have given gifts and wondered if the hand work was appreciated only later to receive a very touching handwritten thank you note. You just never know.

Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 1 2 3 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.