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Thread: ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND

  1. #1
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

    My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Carol Anne. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Carol Anne to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.

    Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

    I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

    Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Carol Anne. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

  2. #2
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    Yea! And what poison is best for Carol Anne to put into his "Fresh Squeezed Lemonaid"? Maybe a little fresh squeezed Oleander.

  3. #3
    Super Member Darlene's Avatar
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    Hardy hardy har haw

  4. #4
    Super Member roseOfsharon's Avatar
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    LOL, I know this is a joke. or at least I hope it is! laughing.....

  5. #5
    Super Member roseOfsharon's Avatar
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    Ohhhhhhh and I know now for the nickname Chasing Hawk is from! Chasing Hawk around with the frying pan! lol

  6. #6
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    When we first got married we were both working full time. Things didn't get done on time all the time. When my husband was talking to some of his online friends, one of the men from the West Coast said that he told his new wife that when he got home from work she'd better have supper on the table, the house clean and laundry done. He said he had to tell her a few times but after a week or so he saw a big improvement. The man from the East coast said that he'd told his wife the same thing--demanded it. He said that since his wife was a little headstrong it took a couple of weeks for him to see her improve. So my husband told me what his friends had said and told me that he thought they were right. That I was to have his dinner on the table, the house clean, and the laundry done every night. After about a week he could see his computer again a little bit since the swelling had gone down out of his black eyes.

  7. #7
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    ha ha

    Quote Originally Posted by roseOfsharon
    Ohhhhhhh and I know now for the nickname Chasing Hawk is from! Chasing Hawk around with the frying pan! lol

  8. #8
    saf45's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roseOfsharon
    LOL, I know this is a joke. or at least I hope it is! laughing.....

  9. #9
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    It better be a joke, or he better get off of his you know what and fix his own dinner.

  10. #10
    Senior Member RatherB Quilting's Avatar
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    And right beneath this "letter" would be the obituary for the same gent, correct? Would be if it were MY Hubby!

  11. #11
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roseOfsharon
    Ohhhhhhh and I know now for the nickname Chasing Hawk is from! Chasing Hawk around with the frying pan! lol
    LMBO Good One :thumbup: :D:D:D

  12. #12
    Super Member thequilteddove's Avatar
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    After 20+ yrs in the military, I retired my boots. I can see I'm going to have to take them out of storage & loan them to Carol Ann so that she may use them to kick his everlove'n diplomatic butt right out the door lolol

  13. #13
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    This was sent to me in an email from my Sister In Law, she got it from her Dad.

    I about fell out of my chair when I read it.



    EDITOR'S NOTE:
    Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

  14. #14
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by roseOfsharon
    Ohhhhhhh and I know now for the nickname Chasing Hawk is from! Chasing Hawk around with the frying pan! lol
    LOL, my name honors a unique Medicine man I knew when I lived in South Dakota.

  15. #15
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    ha ha

    Quote Originally Posted by raptureready
    When we first got married we were both working full time. Things didn't get done on time all the time. When my husband was talking to some of his online friends, one of the men from the West Coast said that he told his new wife that when he got home from work she'd better have supper on the table, the house clean and laundry done. He said he had to tell her a few times but after a week or so he saw a big improvement. The man from the East coast said that he'd told his wife the same thing--demanded it. He said that since his wife was a little headstrong it took a couple of weeks for him to see her improve. So my husband told me what his friends had said and told me that he thought they were right. That I was to have his dinner on the table, the house clean, and the laundry done every night. After about a week he could see his computer again a little bit since the swelling had gone down out of his black eyes.

  16. #16
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chasing Hawk
    This was sent to me in an email from my Sister In Law, she got it from her Dad.

    I about fell out of my chair when I read it.



    EDITOR'S NOTE:
    Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
    Sounds feasible to me. I vote INNOCENT on all counts.

  17. #17
    Super Member Luv Quilts and Cats's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chasing Hawk
    This was sent to me in an email from my Sister In Law, she got it from her Dad.

    I about fell out of my chair when I read it.



    EDITOR'S NOTE:
    Ron died suddenly on January 31 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra-long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing, and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Carol Anne was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 10 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that Ron, somehow without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.
    OMG! This one has my laughing so hard!!!!

  18. #18
    Marjpf's Avatar
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    Good one! You go Carol Anne! (I know it's all a joke, but can't help but cheer her on.)

  19. #19
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    Carol Anne sounds "innocent" to me.

    If he had been my husband he wouldn't have lived that long.

    I needed this laugh really badly today. Thanks for posting.

  20. #20
    Lisa773's Avatar
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    :)

  21. #21
    Lisa773's Avatar
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    :)

  22. #22
    Senior Member aliaslaceygreen's Avatar
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    LOL!! And while I know it's a joke, it's the reason I firmly stand behind my often made comment when a woman says her husband allows her to stay at home so she doesn't expect him to lift a finger in the house. I always ask if they think that the day HE retires, she will too!!!

  23. #23
    Super Member roseOfsharon's Avatar
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    laughing ,, that is one funny ending! and Chasing Hawk, a great name indeed it is ! ;)

  24. #24
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: :lol: I spit on the monitor!!! Hilarious!

  25. #25
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    Gee, here I was thinking Carole Ann's housekeeping improved and then she later presented him with the bill for the new maid, cook and butt kicker.

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