BF / marry relationship going sour fast - I must have User Apply Here stamp somewhere
06-06-2009, 10:29 AM
#11
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
06-06-2009, 10:45 AM
#12
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,925
I don't want to sound harsh but.....RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
You are back on the dating scene and if someone truly cares about you, I honestly believe you will feel the same way. :wink:
You are back on the dating scene and if someone truly cares about you, I honestly believe you will feel the same way. :wink:
06-06-2009, 11:14 AM
#13
Banned
Join Date: May 2009
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 888
do you ever watch "cops"? yes, this is a relevant question....
when two people live together they establish a HOME, an address, a residence... if you've ever watched cops then you'll know what I'm getting at - even if YOU pay the rent or YOU own the home, if the other person has established RESIDENCE in YOUR home, you can have a heck of a time getting them OUT of your home...
so be very careful about setting up housekeeping with somebody else
same goes for renting property to somebody or even giving them permission to stay at your property for any length of time
when two people live together they establish a HOME, an address, a residence... if you've ever watched cops then you'll know what I'm getting at - even if YOU pay the rent or YOU own the home, if the other person has established RESIDENCE in YOUR home, you can have a heck of a time getting them OUT of your home...
so be very careful about setting up housekeeping with somebody else
same goes for renting property to somebody or even giving them permission to stay at your property for any length of time
06-06-2009, 11:21 AM
#14
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: currently central new jersey
Posts: 8,623
don't be unkind at the workplace, but run him, don't walk him, to the nearest exit! If your office has a no-dating rule, be careful. if not, don't hesitate to report harassment to your office manager. at all times, CYA.
you are a wonderful, warm and loving woman with a lot to give. don't waste it.
you are a wonderful, warm and loving woman with a lot to give. don't waste it.
06-06-2009, 12:17 PM
#15
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 6,884
Live your life for YOU, not for someone else. If this guy changes to fit your wants, he is not HIM either. You deserve a WHOLE person, not just parts! Do not be unkind because you work with him, but go no further with this relationship. Love yourself enough to BE yourself. Sounds like everyone is giving yu the same advice, which is wheat you felt when you wrote this post! :lol:
06-06-2009, 12:43 PM
#16
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 5,652
Tell him you don't want to make a mistake and would like to date other people to...if he wants to pay for a dinner or semething go...you said you liked him for a friend so keep it at that....be busy a lot...he will get it and you won't have to bash him...he will think everything is his idea :roll: :roll: :roll:
06-06-2009, 01:51 PM
#17
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 15,639
Nancy, It sounds like you are "convenient." You have your act together and he may well expect you to pull him along. How old is this guy??? This type of behavior is very unattractive for any man over the age of 22 (in the world according to Martina anyway).
Ii wouldn't answer at all - and I wouldn't worry what he thinks. As long as there is no issue at work, just enjoy your private time. He will eventually realize that he is not part of it.
Ii wouldn't answer at all - and I wouldn't worry what he thinks. As long as there is no issue at work, just enjoy your private time. He will eventually realize that he is not part of it.
06-06-2009, 02:06 PM
#18
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Seacoast New Hampshire
Posts: 1,177
I haven't read everything posted yet but wanted to update you all.
We talked and I told him it really wasn't going anywhere because we don't want the same things, don't have the same future plan, and really don't have too much of the same interests, and I feel it would be better to be friends rather than a couple.
He proceeded to tell me how he felt and what I said and what we decided and that he didn't understand. (He does understand it just isn't what he wants to hear so he keeps saying that to keep the conversation going.)
I asked why is it always about him, he said it isn't, I said -he said- I said- he said...Fine, whatever you want, fine, he says. I then asked 'you will not let me go, will you?' 'Not as a friend', he says. I didn't like that too much. I say I have to hang up. Fine. He sends me a text - You made me very upset. Sorry our dating didn't work for you, I'll try to be a better friend. I will always love you.
This is (usually) my cue to call him and say, no, it isn't that, it's just...
But instead, I went and dug in the dirt for 3 hours then took my son out to an early dinner.
Much nicer.
Now I'll go read what you all posted. Thanks, by the way. It really helps to know I can come here and talk to you all, that we all can.
We talked and I told him it really wasn't going anywhere because we don't want the same things, don't have the same future plan, and really don't have too much of the same interests, and I feel it would be better to be friends rather than a couple.
He proceeded to tell me how he felt and what I said and what we decided and that he didn't understand. (He does understand it just isn't what he wants to hear so he keeps saying that to keep the conversation going.)
I asked why is it always about him, he said it isn't, I said -he said- I said- he said...Fine, whatever you want, fine, he says. I then asked 'you will not let me go, will you?' 'Not as a friend', he says. I didn't like that too much. I say I have to hang up. Fine. He sends me a text - You made me very upset. Sorry our dating didn't work for you, I'll try to be a better friend. I will always love you.
This is (usually) my cue to call him and say, no, it isn't that, it's just...
But instead, I went and dug in the dirt for 3 hours then took my son out to an early dinner.
Much nicer.
Now I'll go read what you all posted. Thanks, by the way. It really helps to know I can come here and talk to you all, that we all can.
06-06-2009, 02:28 PM
#20
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Gone
Posts: 2,383
You done good dude. ((hugs))
What you really need to do is go back and read YOUR messages, not ours. The answer was in your tone, and words, plain as day.
I agree with Kluedesigns, no need to be rude about it, it's just not working. Fullstop. No need for long drawn out post mortems (which it seems is what he's now trying to do). He's trying mind games now, using your niceness against you. Be strong, you know what you want and he is simply not it. Doesn't make him a bad person, just not right for you.
You go girl, be strong! :-)
What you really need to do is go back and read YOUR messages, not ours. The answer was in your tone, and words, plain as day.
I agree with Kluedesigns, no need to be rude about it, it's just not working. Fullstop. No need for long drawn out post mortems (which it seems is what he's now trying to do). He's trying mind games now, using your niceness against you. Be strong, you know what you want and he is simply not it. Doesn't make him a bad person, just not right for you.
You go girl, be strong! :-)
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