Did you hear any screaming and crying from the NW
#11
It was the only place they would not look in LOL!!! I refuse to do their laundry. I love the ideas of making them buy back stuff and will start making them pay for me to do chores they did not do!
#12
With teenagers (and I have had 7)just close the door to their room. It's their space. I had rules about no clothes in the bathroom and no food in the bedroom. Everybody did their own laundry by the time they were 12. And yes, if something is found where it shouldn't be, make it disappear! Believe me, they learn. Pick your battles and save your sanity.
#14
My sister did that with her two kids when they were very young. They had their toys all over the TV room floor and were asked to pick them up three times. Then she swept in like Hurricane Dora and put all of the Little Ponies, Barbies, etc. in a trash bag and told them she was throwing it all in the trash (she actually stored it all in the garage). They whined and cried but after a few days didn't even miss the toys or ask about them again. She eventually gave the toys to a shelter and the girls didn't even realize they were gone.
#15
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Piedmont Virginia in the Foothills of the Blue Ridge Mtns.
Posts: 8,562
Looks like you have unanimous agreement with your decision/actions so far! The buy back idea is priceless! (Shoot, wish I'd thought of that years ago!)
I once put everything in name-marked tubs under a bench in the mud room...if they couldn't find something, they were supposed to look there. It was absolutely astounding to me how nearly all those things stayed in those tubs so long NO ONE remembered who'd left them out or why they needed them. You might not make much on the buy-back, but still.....!
I finally got my 15 year old DD to get herself ready and in the car on a school morning by refusing to put my feet on the floor until she was heading down the stairs to the car. The deal was, wake me 1 minute before walking out the door, I'll throw on jeans and t and drive her to carpool. SHE was responsible for her own breakfast, her lunch/books/papers/uniforms/details and I WOULD NOT be responsible for getting her out the door. Finally worked so well, 15 years ago, that I still hate to get up until it's well into the day, LOL!
Jan in VA
I once put everything in name-marked tubs under a bench in the mud room...if they couldn't find something, they were supposed to look there. It was absolutely astounding to me how nearly all those things stayed in those tubs so long NO ONE remembered who'd left them out or why they needed them. You might not make much on the buy-back, but still.....!
I finally got my 15 year old DD to get herself ready and in the car on a school morning by refusing to put my feet on the floor until she was heading down the stairs to the car. The deal was, wake me 1 minute before walking out the door, I'll throw on jeans and t and drive her to carpool. SHE was responsible for her own breakfast, her lunch/books/papers/uniforms/details and I WOULD NOT be responsible for getting her out the door. Finally worked so well, 15 years ago, that I still hate to get up until it's well into the day, LOL!
Jan in VA
#17
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
Go to Flylady.com and she will give you lots of ideas.
But please realize that these are teenagers, who, on the last day of their 12th year go to bed your darling little girl, but on their 13th birthday, wake up with a mind possessed by aliens. You have to be ring master to these critters and keep a mind trip on them all the time. Some time in the future they will grow up and become rational human beings whom you will love again.
I now love both my daughters, even though in their teens a lot of the time I could not stand either one, and often wished myself lost back in the hills of WV. Alone with a knife, ax and matches.
But please realize that these are teenagers, who, on the last day of their 12th year go to bed your darling little girl, but on their 13th birthday, wake up with a mind possessed by aliens. You have to be ring master to these critters and keep a mind trip on them all the time. Some time in the future they will grow up and become rational human beings whom you will love again.
I now love both my daughters, even though in their teens a lot of the time I could not stand either one, and often wished myself lost back in the hills of WV. Alone with a knife, ax and matches.
#19
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,375
Originally Posted by PatriceJ
it's natural for teenagers to constantly test to see how far they can push their luck. it's normal for them to get cranky and to become convinced that you know nothing and couldn't possibly understand anything they're going through.
it's just as natural for us to lose patience and to give all their abandoned and abused belongings to charity - for real - and to make them get jobs to buy them back themselves. ;-)
it's just as natural for us to lose patience and to give all their abandoned and abused belongings to charity - for real - and to make them get jobs to buy them back themselves. ;-)
:lol:
#20
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: western australia
Posts: 1,793
my neighbours son re married and now he and the kids have to do there own washing and ironing, she was a single mum of 3 girls and had to work hard all day to feed them so they all learnt to do chores very early, it was a rude awakening for him and his kids but now they are happy to do it and take there responsibilities very seriosly
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