wolfkitty

I had to learn to say no as I was always 'volunteered' as a child and just assumed that was my lot in life. Some very kind people taught me that it's okay to say no, and I don't need to (always) give a reason. No means No. Unless I want to.

Judith

I was in the exact same boat as you until my sister taught me four words that work really well. "That doesn't work for me." I'm still not as good at saying No as I should be but putting it the new way sure helps a lot.

watterstide

i don't mind picking up the grandkids at school when they are sick..
but my neighbor is driving me crazy,wanting me to drive thier daughter to the doctors. the dad,spends alot of time at his cottage,the mom stays home, and doesn't drive.
i finally am telling her, no, i am busy,can't do it. (she has grown kids that live not far..let them take her)

lillybeck

My sister and my DH volunteer me to fix or alter things all the time. The last time my sis did it I charged her friend 20 dollars for altering 2 shirts. Maybe he will not want more done,

Annaquilts

Screen your phone calls and lock the door.

GlitzyMe

Back in the 1970s I had a call from the nurse at the local elementary school one morning. A little girl in my daughter's class was sick and would I come pick her up......excuse me? After a conversation which was total ingnorance on my part the nurse went thru her files. Because I worked at home and could be reached 24/7 she found I was listed as the emergency number for 16 children in the school! Yes, it was a small town but there were some mothers I knew only to greet with a smile and 'hello'. Only my sister had asked if I could be her emergency contact. The rest all got new forms and notes from the nurse. Some people have either no sense of manners or a lot of nerve. Learn the 2-letter word. It's ok to stand in front of the mirror and practice it. You aren't required to have a reason why......and I guarantee if you tell them you don't WANT to do it, they'll get that message.

jeannie t

Since I quilt, friends think I do sewing repairs (which I don't even do on my own clothes) I also design jewerly so everyone thinks I have time to repair there broken jewerly, I have learned to say NO and stick to it, I am retired and do not want a schedule, I sold realestate for a living and loved it! but days of having a schedule for me are over its my time now!

kellen46

Saying no is hard. If you like doing these things then by all means continue doing them. However if you are feeling used and abused, you need to take charge and say No. NO is always an option. We are not always taught to be assertive, and we do like to help others. When we find, though, we are being taken advantage of it is time to take a stand. If you are uncomfortable just saying no flat out, find a phrase that fits. I use "I am not comfortable with that". How do you argue with that. Phrases to avoid, I'll see, I'll try, maybe later, I don't know....etc. Those give the askee room to argue or guilt you into the situation. Another tip is to just use the word "and" until they run out of argument. This is a tip for dealing with argumentative children as well. No matter what they say, just reply "and" until they run out of breath...believe me that will happen in a matter of seconds. You will know your strategy is working when they say..."you used to be so nice, now you are just a b...." I learned the "just say no" lesson the hard way, but I am much happier not feeling like a martyr and I don't really mind being called a b....

quiltmom04

I remember reading somewhere that no one can take advantage of you unless you LET them. Perhaps you are giving some sort of signal (that you are not aware of) that you WILL do their errands.

pasovasz

<You will know your strategy is working when they say..."you used to be so nice, now you are just a b...." I learned the "just say no" lesson the hard way, but I am much happier not feeling like a martyr and I don't really mind being called a b....>

That expression was directed to me once. Luckily, I was able to think quickly and with the same venom and said- "Are you looking in a mirror?" and walked away. I do not associate with people who try to denigrate me. I taught public school for 30 years. That behavior was never acceptable. I was not popular but I knew that my treatment of others was fair. Nice people got nice treatment. The others got what they deserved and believe me, they didn't like being treated the way they treated others.