have you stayed with your child when they had their first child
#21
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 3,255
Just tell them that you would like to come and help out and that you are available, then leave it to them to let you know what they would like. Open communication is the best. Don't go and then get a "feeling" that you should leave. Most people are not very good mind readers:)
#22
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Quitman,Texas
Posts: 543
My daughter has 4 boys and I was there for all 4 ,we lived in the same town, and my son and daughter-in-law have 2 girls and live in Atlanta,Ga.Her folks live there and were with them when the girls were born.I went to Georgia 3 wks later.
#24
My oldest DD was living with me at the time. I was her breathing coach. She and the baby moved out after 2 weeks. It was sad to see them leave, but good to know she was going to a place where they could start their new lives together. Two more children later and a husband, her family is thriving. (I love you Mia!)
#25
DO IT!! I had four kids in four years and I joke...but totally serious after the last three were born(they were vbacs) I was doing laundry and loading the dishwasher after they were 24 hours old...I never had more than hubby!!
DO IT!!!!! You wont regret it!
DO IT!!!!! You wont regret it!
#26
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,356
My mom stayed with me when I had my first. It was a blessing!!!!!!!!! Too bad she had to go home (25 miles away). That's when I began having too stay up all the time. Lack of sleep. She did come out every now and then so I could get some sleep.
Make the offer. You want to be there for your daughter and grandchild and yes SIL too. Even if it's so she can rest some. If SIL says no explain "A happy mom is the best wife and if she's tired it's like she's having PMS." LOL
It's also bonding time with grandma!!
GO FOR IT! ALL they can say is no thanks.
Make the offer. You want to be there for your daughter and grandchild and yes SIL too. Even if it's so she can rest some. If SIL says no explain "A happy mom is the best wife and if she's tired it's like she's having PMS." LOL
It's also bonding time with grandma!!
GO FOR IT! ALL they can say is no thanks.
#27
My DH and I lived with my mom when our DD was born. My mom was really good, and she did try to impart advice but I firmly told her that I was my DD's mom, and that I had to make my own choices on how to raise our DD. We're fine now, but we did have one major blow up argument.
And my MIL still has not seen our daughter, 2 and a half years later.
And my MIL still has not seen our daughter, 2 and a half years later.
#28
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Jeffersonville, In
Posts: 2,621
ROFL. I bet planned parentthood never thought of that.
Originally Posted by charity-crafter
My MIL told me when we got married that she planned to come stay with us for 6 months to a year when we had our baby.
I tell you what, that was the best form of birth control ever! We never got around to having children.
I mentioned to my mother what MIL had said, and my mom said "I raised my kids, Don't be expecting me to take care of yours." Well, ok then. Thanks. I hadn't even asked her and wasn't even pregnant.
Best thing is to just talk to them, ask them what they want. If you do go stay with them for a bit, if it starts to be uncomfortable you know it's time to go home.
I tell you what, that was the best form of birth control ever! We never got around to having children.
I mentioned to my mother what MIL had said, and my mom said "I raised my kids, Don't be expecting me to take care of yours." Well, ok then. Thanks. I hadn't even asked her and wasn't even pregnant.
Best thing is to just talk to them, ask them what they want. If you do go stay with them for a bit, if it starts to be uncomfortable you know it's time to go home.
#29
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Wadesboro, NC
Posts: 758
My stepmother came when my children were born (I have 4). My MIL and my mother were not willing or able to help. I will always be grateful that she came. She didn't really help with the housework (although she did offer) but she did get meals and take care of the older children as the younger ones came along. And it meant a lot to me that she was willing to come and help me. She really has been a mother to me over the years and I am thankful to have her. She and my Dad will celebrate 36 years of marriage on May 31!
#30
My first child was the first grandchild on my side of the family. I told my MIL she could come after my mother left because we had only one guest room. Thankfully she listened. I told my mom to wait until baby was born because I wanted her there longer after baby came. It would have been great to have her there before too, but I knew she wanted to spend time with the baby. I didn't ask and she didn't ask, we just both knew. Second time around MIL did not make it, we were stationed too far away for her to drive and she doesn't fly. My mother was there and I cried when she left!
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