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The information that got away - - -

The information that got away - - -

Old 07-01-2014, 06:24 AM
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I have been doing ancestry and how I wish I had paid more attention to stories that were told. A word of advice , write down things you can remember and but away for your children. Someone in your family will some day be where we are now and will be so happy to have it.
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Old 07-01-2014, 06:42 AM
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Originally Posted by nena View Post
I have been doing ancestry and how I wish I had paid more attention to stories that were told. A word of advice , write down things you can remember and but away for your children. Someone in your family will some day be where we are now and will be so happy to have it.
I was going to write that. I once read that every person could write what they remember of their own parents , grandparents, their own childhood memories etc... no need to be a writer, just some lines here and there so that once the next generation reaches their 60's or 70's in age they could have something they did not think of asking when they were younger.
I started being interested in genealogy and family history when I was in my 40's and my parents were still alive. I still remember their smiling eyes when they answer some of my questions and I was taking notes about their parents, grand-parents, their first Xmas gifts (which they did not have except for and orange and some little treats and it was on New Year's day not at Xmas, etc...)

Dad's grandfather was born in the States and mom's father was 4th generation of Irish descendant and I still have a hard time to speak english... go wonder loll

I went into genealogy and family history to try to find out some of the questions I was not interested in when I was younger. Now, I am writing some of the "stuff" I know in case my nieces and their children (I have no children) get interested in when they reach retirement age... who knows!
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Old 07-01-2014, 07:36 AM
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[QUOTE=Tartan;6781471][B][COLOR=#0000cd]Most of us have the luxury of knowing are parents and grandparents. We have written up some of our oral history for further generations. I have also saved as many wedding portraits as possible. I don't think further generations will be all that interested in the ton of other photos but I think they should at least have the wedding portraits for doing their family trees.
I worry about the children artificially conceived and adopted with no history. It must be hard for them.[COLOR="#FF0000"][/



Whoa, there! Children who are artificially conceived have a history or a herstory. How many people can say they were so badly wanted that parents went through so much to get them? Adopted kids, whatever their birth origin, get families, moms, dads, uncles, aunts, grandparents, et. al. and that child is part of that family history and that family history ecomes part of the child. What's more, everyone makes history or herstory every day he or she lives. Now, to step off my soap box--froggyintexas
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Old 07-01-2014, 09:10 AM
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My grandmother and my Mom made sure I learned to embroider and sew early in life. Cooking/baking came next; but family stories (good or bad) were never told as that was not their way of life back then. Medical secrets were never told either (good or bad).
I wish that I could of met the two great aunts I was named after as I heard they were a hoot- always laughing, positive and just jovial.
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Old 07-01-2014, 09:13 AM
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My mom died when I was 9, so I missed a lot of info from her. Would have liked to hear what her life before marriage was like, she did not marry until age 38, was taking care of her parents until they died.

I would also have liked to ask my dad why he paid for me to live with a foster family after he divorced my step-mom. It was explained to me at the time, that it was better for me to live with a family. But he WAS my family. It wasn't until I met my DH as he was going through a divorce, that I realized he (DH) would never have sent his kids away to live with strangers. And my dad lived in the same town as me.
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Old 07-01-2014, 10:41 AM
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My Grandfather was a wonderful story teller. I could and did sit for hours listening to him. The only thing I wish I had learned more about from him was about his parents and grandparents and their histories.
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Old 07-01-2014, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by ptquilts View Post
I would also have liked to ask my dad why he paid for me to live with a foster family after he divorced my step-mom. It was explained to me at the time, that it was better for me to live with a family. But he WAS my family. It wasn't until I met my DH as he was going through a divorce, that I realized he (DH) would never have sent his kids away to live with strangers. And my dad lived in the same town as me.
I'm not sure how old you are, but it's entirely possible that it could have been "the times", or maybe he just wasn't capable of raising a daughter, especially if you were the only child.

My grandfather and his brother were put into an orphanage at a very young age after their mother had a stroke and drowned while swimming. This despite the fact that they still had a father. But I guess single fathering just wasn't done back in those days. They lived in the orphanage until their dad remarried. Unfortunately the stepmom was a witch.

My grandfather is the sweetest, most gentle, most law-abiding, kindest person I have ever known, DESPITE the fact that at age 5, he tried but failed to save his drowning mother; DESPITE the fact that he lived in an unpleasant, loveless orphanage until his early teens; DESPITE the fact that he spent his teen years with a horrid, physically, mentally abusive stepmother. I think about this every time I hear of criminals who get off because they had a bad childhood. Put me on the jury, please.

Another fascinating tidbit: I remember reading a news story a few years back about a family whose toddler son had vanished many, many years ago. A man (I want to say he was in his 60's?) had come forward, requesting a DNA test because he suspected he was that toddler. As I read further into the story, I was shocked to learn that the mother had left the child outside the grocery store as she shopped, and he had vanished while she was inside. There had been a lot of searching and publicity, but he was never found. I was aghast and was talking to my grandmother about this and said, "Who on earth would ever leave a child outside a grocery store, unattended?? Especially one so young?" She told me they used to do it all the time! My mom was born in 1950 and my grandma said the moms would go to the grocery store, park the kids in strollers at the front entrance, and go inside to shop. Nobody thought twice about it.
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Old 07-01-2014, 07:37 PM
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I was so lucky to grow up where my mother grew up and not far from my father's home. My grandmothers were both good cooks and sometimes they did not have a lot to work with. My grandmother would make rice with cinnamon and sugar and we thought it was a wonderful treat. Years after I asked my mother why she did not eat rice. Her answer was that she had a lot of rice when growing up. They did not sew a great deal but my mother did.
Even with being close there were a lot of things I did not ask. We have been in to genealogy for 30 years and always encourage folks to talk to their older family members before time goes by. If one just gathers birth, marriage, and death information including names, dates, and places. You may not be interested but someone after you might.
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Old 07-01-2014, 07:43 PM
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I had grand parents, but we lived in NJ and they lived in MN. Only met them 3 times in my life. I always wanted more family around when I was a kid. I guess that's why I have my own grands visit for 6 weeks each summer.
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Old 07-01-2014, 09:28 PM
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Originally Posted by MaryKatherine View Post
Surprisingly the information my parents didn't talk about is turning out to be more important that anything else. Their Health and who died of what. And to make it even more mysterious, my dad was a doctor. But they subscribed to the idea that "the kids don't need to know that."
Yes!

I had my grandmothers most of my life (my paternal grandmother died last year at 104), but both refused to discuss health issues, even when I was an adult.
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