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Thread: This is Laugh Out Load Funny

  1. #26
    Super Member SherriB's Avatar
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    That is so funny!! No matter how many times I read it, it still has me laughing until I cry! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :XD: :XD: :XD:

  2. #27
    Senior Member Prettiptibbs's Avatar
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    Hilarious! Laughed so hard tears are streaming down my face!

  3. #28
    Senior Member Noiseynana's Avatar
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    OMG this is sooooo funny. It reminds me of my hubby. He was showing our daughter that if you touched a battery with just a tiny bit of spit that you'd get a tiny spark. Now our daughter is smarter than he is so she told him to show her. He did and still now he drools and is afraid of tiny batteries. hehehe

  4. #29
    Junior Member marybs's Avatar
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    OMG! Laughed so hard asthma kicked in! I think this is a story about one of my brothers!!!!!!

  5. #30
    Super Member MaryAnnMc's Avatar
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    Now that was funny. DH will love it.

  6. #31
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    laughing so hard it took me two times to finish the whole thing great way to start off the week with a good laugh.

  7. #32
    Super Member cherrio's Avatar
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    OMG! I am laughing so hard my teenager rushed into the room to see who died! she thought I was crying. now my sides ache. yep-passing this on to my brothers

  8. #33
    Junior Member chatonne40's Avatar
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    Hilarious!!!
    It reminded me of a battery fly zapper we bought at a dollar store, less than 5$ and shaped like a tennis racket.

    While trying if this was working my curious puppy Jasper put her wet nose on it!!!

    No need to tell you, when we take that zapper out the doggy just disappear LOLOL

  9. #34
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    so funny!

  10. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaLinda
    Oh, don't you love a man for reading the directions!
    I've never heard of a man reading directions. I guess they don't because it's so dangerous to their well being! :lol:

  11. #36
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    :lol: :lol: ROFLMAO!! :lol: :lol: I've seen it before but it is still funny. Thanks for the funny start on this Monday morning. :lol: :lol:

  12. #37
    Senior Member AprilG's Avatar
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    Oh, dear, please excuse me while I go and change my undies. I laughed so hard. The funny thing is I have a friend that tried the "No Bark" dog training collar (on full power). He still twitches when he sees the thing!

  13. #38
    Junior Member drw1mjw2's Avatar
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    My husband cannot help but push a button or flip a switch if there is one. I guess I won't be getting one of those things for him! Thanks for the warning!

  14. #39
    Super Member Caswews's Avatar
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    The visual is just worth the whole thing !LOL I laughed !! thanks!!

  15. #40
    Super Member mimee4's Avatar
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    This is so funny. thanks for the morning laugh

  16. #41
    Member nonnaof5's Avatar
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    Beautiful, only a man would rationalize this way, but it sounds like he has a sense of humor about the ordeal.

  17. #42
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    I haven't laughed like that in years. They say laughter keeps you young, well I am younger by 40 years. I could hardley keep from laughing as I read it to my husband. Just to funny.

  18. #43
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    I haven't laughed like that in years. They say laughter keeps you young, well I am younger by 40 years. I could hardley keep from laughing as I read it to my husband. Just to funny.

  19. #44
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    How can I send this funny thing to friends? They need to read it.

  20. #45
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    Both husband and I laughed. I laughed lots longer and louder than he did.

  21. #46
    Super Member Treasureit's Avatar
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    OK - that was very funny....I usually don't laugh at these things that much...but this one was just too hilarious!

  22. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phyllis nm
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    To all my Brothers out there......



    ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS
    Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

    Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

    Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

    WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

    AWESOME!!!

    Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

    So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

    All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best...?

    I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

    HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

    I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

    Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

    IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

    A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

    Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
    P.S... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!


    If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!
    Ditto! I laughed till I cried.

  23. #48
    Junior Member DeAnne-Mn.'s Avatar
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    Just my opinion but did not think it was funny because the person in the joke was in such pain. I live with constant pain 24\7 , to me pain is not funny.

  24. #49
    Super Member Glassquilt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeAnne-Mn.
    Just my opinion but did not think it was funny because the person in the joke was in such pain. I live with constant pain 24\7 , to me pain is not funny.
    Sorry you're in pain.
    Speaking for myself I did not find the pain funny but i did find the illogical reasoning funny.

  25. #50
    Junior Member DeAnne-Mn.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glassquilt
    Quote Originally Posted by DeAnne-Mn.
    Just my opinion but did not think it was funny because the person in the joke was in such pain. I live with constant pain 24\7 , to me pain is not funny.
    Sorry you're in pain.
    Speaking for myself I did not find the pain funny but i did find the illogical reasoning funny.
    You're right. I guess I need to check my "funny bone" and look at the larger picture(joke).

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