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Long Marriages------------ Thank you >

Long Marriages------------ Thank you

Long Marriages------------ Thank you

Old 08-26-2010, 05:17 AM
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going on 52 years in Sept....I just keep thinking, "some days your the windshield and somedays your the bug" can't be 100%, 100% of the time.
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:25 AM
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My hubby and I have been together since he was 22 and I was 16. we just had our 18th anniversary July 11. we have been through so much together, the good, the very good, the bad and the very bad, but we are still going strong. I love him more with each passing day. He really knows how to push my buttons sometimes, but I wouldnt trade him for anything! I'm going though some severe depression and anxiety right now and he has been right beside me. I honestly dont know how he puts up with me sometimes but he does, and when I ask him why he does put up with me he says "because I love you, you're my dream girl". I honestly couldnt live without him for a single second! Ok.... now i need a tissue.
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:44 AM
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We celebrate 55 years in September. There have been good times and a few bad ones, but divorce was not an option through many of those years. It was difficult and expensive to get a divorce. Whenever I get angry, I just tell myself, I'm not perfect either! And I give him a hug and kiss and laugh before I tell him what's bothering me. Our 3 kids? Two are divorced, but they hung in over 20 years each. Both were married to controlling partners. The other one separated for a year, but worked it out.
It hasn't always been easy, but it's worth it!
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:51 AM
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What a wonderful topic!
When I got married in 1971 I was very young but I had no idea of an "out" if things got rough. I just didn't think that way.
Maybe it was seeing my parents, aunts and uncles, etc in long marriages. Times were different too.
Out of 4 of us kids 2 are divorced and 2 are still married. Those 2 divorces were sad but both my siblings are happier now. Neither has remarried. The one still married is miserable. I have seen both sides of long marriages so I don't like to judge what people do.
I go by the 3 A's- adultery, abuse, addiction. If any of these are in a marriage something has to be done. I have dealt with addiction in my marriage and it's put a huge strain on it but we're working hard on it as I speak :)
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:52 AM
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Almost 41 years for us. Married right out of high school. My dh took a sociology class on family his last semester in college and came home and told me we had no chance. We did everything wrong. Here's what I think made it work so far:
1. Be willing to forgive
2. Make the other person important in your life
3. Do things together, but have some interests of your own
4. Be too stubborn to give up
5. Don't take any nonsense
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:56 AM
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I agree with every thing you said, we have been married for 51 years .
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Old 08-26-2010, 05:58 AM
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I was married 37 years in April. It hasn't been free of struggles; but when I said "I DO" I took those vows very seriously. We did separate once back in the mid 80's.... what doesn't break us, only makes us stronger!!
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Old 08-26-2010, 06:27 AM
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Divorce only became legal in Ireland in 1997!! Of course that doesn't mean marriages didn't break up before then, often one partner moved to another country and got the divorce there, but it sure left a mess in Ireland when it came to dividing estates between the "legal" first family and any subsequent partners and children.

Our last Taoiseach was legally separated from his wife and had his live-in partner accompanying him to official functions which caused a bit of controversy as well.

I joke about divorce regularly, but we've had some awful years so honestly if I haven't left by now then I'm not likely to.
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Old 08-26-2010, 06:33 AM
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I'm still a pretty young one to this topic. Last week my DH and I celebrated 10 years of love together and next week we'll celebrate 7 years of marriage. My MIL (no dear there) has tried to separate us on everything, especially after her own, second separation, but we're still going strong. We're a bit "old-fashioned" as my brother told me (he's on his second marriage and 26), but we don't mind. We believe in God and family. I stay home with our two beautiful girls and I homeschool them while my dh works locally. Family time is more important than fabulous vacations for us. My DH is the most amazing man I've ever met and my best friend. Last year I was told I had a severe condition that had to be operated on (as I was being wheeled from an emergency appendectomy)and that I would not be able to have more children. I had two, back to back, abdominal surgeries and my DH really shined! He took care of me, during both recovery times, the kids, the pets and the house. And while recovering the second time, he really supported this new "therapy" idea a friend had brought up: quilting! I had been sewing for about 3 years so I had some of the basic principles down. This past Christmas he bought me a Janome 6500 and an embroidery machine for quilting and has supported every crazy quilting thing I've chased after. He is truely my best friend and I love him more every day!
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Old 08-26-2010, 07:48 AM
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Location: New York State, but I will always be Canadian!
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This is a wonderful thread! I agree with you 100% and have repeatedly thanked my Grandparents over the years for thier example.
Everyone in my family too has been divorced and infidelity seems to be like a disease everyone has. My Grandparents are the exception. I met my hubby, and his parents have been an inspiration too. Although Hubsters father had been married before, when he met Hubsters mother, they have been inseparable since. My mother in law has told me one of her secrets is that she kisses her husband as soon as they wake up, before he leaves, as soon as he gets home, and last before going to sleep. I do the same with my Hubster. Also, we always try to go to bed at the same time. Hubsters rule also is that we never discuss serious topics in the bedroom. If we need to talk, we talk in the living room BEFORE bed.
I am madly, completely, absolutely in love with my Husband. We recently celebrated our fifth anniversary. Sometimes I feel sad that we will never see some of the landmarks some of you ladies have (we got married in our 30's) I know that as long as it's my choice, I will be with him the rest of my life. I know a marriage is work. I tell myself every day, love is not so much an emotion as a choice. I wake up every day and CHOOSE to continue to love this man even if he peeves me off. I choose to love him, no matter what. (ok...I admit, I love him so much...it's not really a hard choice at all!!)
Thanks for this thread and for all the wonderful ladies who have shared! Thank you for your example!
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