Knot Sew

I have always been close to my son. We are so much alike and I was 18 when he was born. He comes a lot and fixes thing, mows or we set and talk about everthing under the son. I have two daughters and unless they are in need of a friend they are very independent. :wink:

Ducky

Shadow, you made me remember something. When my youngest moved out, I cried for days. He was the last one to leave. I finally was able to pinpoint my sadness while talking to a friend, and that pinpoint was that it hurt so badly not to be needed anymore. Yes, I know that mothers are always needed, but not like it was while they were growing up, or during their hard times. It took me quite some time to work through that one. I have always loved being a mother, but no one ever told me it would be so heart-wrenching.

kwhite

I hear you Ducky. It is very hard. What makes it worse for me is that she has left and come home many times between college and camp. Every time she leaves it is like the first time all over. You would think it would get easier at some point.

Skeat

K, you will survive this:)And now is the time to do some things you always felt guilty doing because the kid was home (all mom guilt!)Join in some quilting circles, go to a retreat....time to find the who you are while she is too:)You aren't losing your kid, but, gaining a different chapter and level of your relationship. You have done something great over there for her to feel confident to do her own things on her own...job well done mom! My mom and i are close and she is in her mid 70's...and, I hope I can keep mine for at least another 30! Independent is a hard thing to teach and you did a good job:)Now....allow yourself fun in life too! Reach out...search for those guilds, etc....you have so much to share w/the world too now:)Skeat

kwhite

OK yall didn't tell me that when they come home again they come back with an ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lord how long does that last!?!?!?!

Skeat

You have made it to the weaning stage:)LOL Skeat

Chele

Hang in there everyone! I have two teenagers I would glady let anyone borrow. They eat a lot and don't do laundry, but are otherwise pretty fun!

omak

The five minute theory works here.
You get five minutes to feel everything you want to, say whatever you want, and then!
Then, you have to get up and go do something else. If you do something else and someone else benefits, so much the better.
It isn't comfortable feeling lonely, redundant, un-needed (you must have done a GREAT job!), sad, at loose ends, as it were. It isn't comfortable, but it is a part of moving on. It is the thing that says "Life is good and is continuing on in a good form".

I have been gone from home for over forty years, but if you want to sleep in the guest room, you have to sleep in "Mary's room" ... and, even though youngest brother lives in his own room, that is "Flint's room" ... the office hasn't had children living in it for over forty five years, and yet! That room was the boys' room (lucky things! they have two! LOL)
Just think about when the grandbabies come to visit and they get to sleep in "mama's room"! Without the toddling steps of going off on their own <g> the next step (grandbabies) don't usually happen.
And, it may be (as my mom told my youngest brother when I got married) that you will be seeing more of daughter than you did before she left.
You are a good mom for all your aching heart, and you did a good job or daughter wouldn't be busy making her own life, eh?
This too shall pass ... and, in the meantime, you will have lovely quilts to help you pass the time.
(I can hardly wait to hear how you took daughter's room and turned it into your stash room, and NOW! She's moving back in with hubby and five children!) <g>

KittyGram

My heart goes out to you, because my situation was similar. I'm divorced, raised my one and only child by myself for most of her years. When she was approaching 18, she was a mean spirited, spiteful child, and it was so hard for me. My oldest sister, with 2 daughters and a son, kept telling me that she WILL become human again. It took till she was 24 years old, but at 26 (she'll be 26 on Sunday), she and I are closer than we ever were before, and in a much healthier way!!!!!

There's hope!!!! In the meantime, she will find out "who" she is, she will grow into a young adult, she will start being responsible for her own actions, and she WILL appreciate everything you've done for her!!!!