Nightmare mammogram appointment.....funny!!!!
06-22-2011, 11:56 AM
#52
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: WI
Posts: 706
Love it. Pregnant with our third child, I had an appointment. Our oldest was in school and our 2 1/2 year old daughter was dropped off for what was to be 1/2 hour with Daddy at work. No problem right. My blood pressure was a bit elevated so the doctor told me to lay down on the exam table and they'd be back in in a few minutes to check it. When I woke up 2 hours later I stepped into the hall and found no one in that wing of the clinic. Finally found the doctor working at a computer who's jaw dropped when she realized they had literally forgotten. Needless to say my husband and daughter weren't very amused. Good thing it wasn't the last appointment of the day and they lock me in.
06-22-2011, 12:05 PM
#53
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 2,254
OMG that is too funny. I think that the lady is due way more than just "case dismissed." Mammograms are right up there with pelvic exams as being the most humiliating experiences we, as women, have to endure. She went to lunch? I would have liked to put her perky little puppies in the machine and let her stand there for a couple of hours; oh, and lower the thermostat about 20 degrees.
06-22-2011, 12:28 PM
#54
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6,958
Good one! I lol and showed it to DH, he said "are you kidding at the comment and then LOL at the end!
Reminds me of a visit to a Kaiser ER after I had scratched my cornea. Okay the two hours in the waiting room was bearable (others in worse shape), but the kicker was that after they put me in the exam room, a fire alarm or some kind of alarm went off and they left me in the room while I am watching people walk by through the partially opened. Someone finally came and said sorry, it was a false alarm.
Reminds me of a visit to a Kaiser ER after I had scratched my cornea. Okay the two hours in the waiting room was bearable (others in worse shape), but the kicker was that after they put me in the exam room, a fire alarm or some kind of alarm went off and they left me in the room while I am watching people walk by through the partially opened. Someone finally came and said sorry, it was a false alarm.
06-22-2011, 04:16 PM
#58
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Woodmere, NY
Posts: 1,422
I think this one tops them off... I don't know where you come up with some of the things you send in, but Ditter, you are great..
I'm having a problem with copying this, as I want to send this to a friend who is a breast surgical oncologist.. She would so appreciate it..
Barri
I'm having a problem with copying this, as I want to send this to a friend who is a breast surgical oncologist.. She would so appreciate it..
Barri
06-22-2011, 06:21 PM
#60
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Ditter43
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say,
"Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I was curious, so I listened as the lady told her story.
"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned,
"Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on
this gown. Everything clear?"
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"
Fine, I answered.
I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two
4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag."
Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said,
"Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so
you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part
of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass
After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."
"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.
Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!
"Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I was curious, so I listened as the lady told her story.
"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned,
"Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on
this gown. Everything clear?"
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science." Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?"
Fine, I answered.
I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two
4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag."
Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said,
"Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so
you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back."
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part
of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass
After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."
"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch.
Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case Dismissed!
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