They call it "pms" because "mad cow disease" was already taken.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

1. People have more fun that anybody!!! (Get it??!!)

2. I feel better all over more than anywhere else!!


Ha! Ha! Geeeze I kill me!!!!

It was all so very different before everything changed.

When I come to a fork in the road of life, I don't waste time and energy wishing it was a spoon.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
Never, under any circumstances, combine a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

I can please only one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow's not looking good either.

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!


lol ............ (I had to get 10 spaces filled so I could post.)

The more I learn, the less I know.

do it,
do it right,
do it right now!

I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it's still on the list.