Sounds like the children need to learn that just because "they want" doesn't mean they will get.
I agree, your home "YOUR RULES!"
Was their mom raised where if she threw a temper tantrum she got what she wanted to get her to quiet down? I was wondering why she allowed her kids to act in such a manner. That is what she is teaching her kids by letting them treat her this way.
You had every right to say NO to the child, Laptops are NOT toys.

My house, my rules... My grands/other kids learned from the get go that amma doesn't put up with nonsense :wink: If you stand firm on what they can/can't do or get away with at your house, they soon catch on.
They all quickly learned, good behavior equals good times with me... bad behavior does not get rewarded. Most all will choose to behave :D:D:D

I have had to gently remind parents that the opposite is true too, their house and their rules :wink: I can choose how long to stay if things get too crazy :D:D:D

My sister's grandchild threw terrible trantrums. They continued until he was about 4. One day when he threw himself on the floor and screamed and thrashed around, she got down on the floor right beside him and did the same thing. He stopped and looked at her and got up and went on his way. She said he never threw another trantum when she had him. I can just see her lying on the floor kicking and screaming.

Absolutely she was not raised that way, it's my daughter. I knew to not give into tantrums and none of my three children were like this.

My kids still joke about "that look". My son did/said something recently, don't remember what it was, and I looked at him because it was inappropriate. My eldest daughter started cracking up and said, "Ooooohhhh! You just got the MOM LOOK." That look where they know they better stop whatever they're doing or face the wrath of Mom!

How about keep a little supply of treats in your purse(candy, small toys, etc) and when 3yo has to give up something to 2yo, give the 3yo a little something "Just for him". And don't let him give it to 2yo, insist it is for the 3yo.

This can get much worse - I used to do flea markets. One day, a dad, 8yo boy and 10yo girl were looking at my junk. Girl picked up a little $1 item to buy - suncatcher. Boy saw it and insisted HE wanted it, proceeded to whine and make life miserable until dad said, let him have it (Major wimp). The girl was very nice about it but I could see she was used to this.
The next time I saw them, it was a couple of months later, I told the girl to pick out a piece of jewelry (I always had a selection of costume jewelry, $1 and under) and I gave it to her. I told her why and she really appreciated it. I figured jewelry would be safe from brother's tantrums.

I think my Mom threw water on me and set me out on the porch by myself when I was throwing a tantrum, too.

Funny thing is, I don't remember having the tantrum.

I think you can suggest - at daughter's house - but that's probably as far as you can go there.

However, at your house - whether daughter's there or not - YOUR rules/guidelines.

I totally agree that letting children have whatever they want and giving into their demands just creates a demanding, selfish, and entitled adult.

I used to work cleaning houses a LONG time ago and I remember this one house that had 3 children. There was a boy about 17, a girl 15, and a boy about 10. That 10 year old was the king of the house. He had the largest of the secondary bedrooms (very large), the girl had one so small that I had to scoot sideways to get between the bed and the dresser and maybe 3 feet on the other side. The 10 year old also had a big stash of toys in his parent's HUGE bedroom because he also played in there. He was a bully and a tyrant with the other two children and his mother let him.

I bet he wasn't very well liked at school either.

so sorry. i used to get spankings for everything my older Sister did!! so i know how the younger child feels.
As a Grandmother and mother, kids don't get away with things at my house. My Son called me a stearn mother. well I was! but if i'd had 5 kids, the one who did the bad thing would get the punishment. and if no one owned up to it, they all would. like going to their room or sitting in a corner. although i did spank my son. hardly did any good though. stubborn but good kid-thank goodness.

I am Very lucky in that department..Because i take care of my Grandchildren during the day, they Know what they can do and what they can't! When they are here there are RULES and Consequenses. At home they can do whatever they may but not at Gramma's house! It's funny because they still always want to come here!! Kids NEED boundaries to feel secure but parents today just want "happy" kids....Good Luck with that :!: My kids know that if they are unhappy with the care of their kids while at my house, then they can keep them home Never be "held hostage" over Grandchildren!