Ah, she is SO young, so 'this generation,' the poor child, and likely in for a rude awakening at some point in her future. Sad.

I'd go for the shower gift of YOUR choice, and forget the rest.
Unless it's perfect - as in, by *her* standards - you're not going to please her anyway.
Jan in VA

Boy, she sounds like a demanding little madam. As she is only a work acquaintance I suspect she is only inviting people to get more large( see expensive) presents. I would give her a nice card and say thanks but no thanks. Just MHO.

I think I would give this one a miss

If you do not attend the shower then you are not obligated to give a gift.

If you do not attend the wedding then you are not obligated to give a gift.

If you do attend either one, then give a gift from her registry that is within your budget or something that you pick out yourself that you can afford.

You are not obligated to spend beyond what you can afford regardless of what she has dictated.

But from what I've read in these posts, I wouldn't give her the time of day!

how about his and hers matching mug rugs? :twisted:

As the shower is being "hosted" by the office, how many are invited? Are there others who are just work acquaintances with the bride-to-be rather than close friends? Could two or three of you go together for the shower gift? That way you can get the bride something she thinks she wants or needs without spending a small fortune yourself.

Even though you're not going to the wedding, you might consider the same thing for a wedding gift. According to what I've read, yes, you should send a gift if you've been invited to the wedding (I believe that's from Emily Post Institute). And remember, you will see this woman at work every day after the wedding. You need to do what you feel is right and will allow you to be comfortable around her in the future. Don't worry about what she thinks of you, but what you think of you!

I don't envy the family this young lady is about to marry into. She's going to be a challenge!

Frankly, if I received a invitation like that, it would have gone in the garbage... IMHO... :)

Speaking of Emily Post..maybe a nice book. On manners. :)

Is there a group at work to share a gift, if so donate to that. If not I think a card of congrats and a small token gift would suffice since the only relationship here is work related; this would also keep peace at the workplace. You will have acknowledged the card and wished here the best. Enough

If a co-worker and they are collecting for a mutual gift, throw in a couple bucks, as little as possible for this selfish girl, in my opinion. Not need to send a wedding gift if not attending. Then sit back and see if she knows enough about etiquette to send a thank you. If was me, I wouldn't attend either.