thank you PatriceJ for letting us know, we all have to be careful

This is some interesting reading. I agree with pretty much every thing that was said. I'm new to quilting and got real lucky when I found this board. Have learned alot. Even told my newbie Sister about this board and she joined too. Sis and I share our stash. Our tastes are different, so works out well. We always order online together to get the best deal. Lots of times I find things I know she will like and just get it. Or if I'm getting something for myself I just go ahead and get her one too. Have also pm'ed a couple posters for some help and that worked out great :thumbup:

Now about the sharing. Some said they won't share with them if they don't play with them on the board. I can understand to a point. You can see when I joined. I have posted some questions and made some comments but not a whole lot. It doesn't mean I'm only here once in a while. I work full time so weekends are about the only time I have to quilt. And being new it does take me awhile to get something done. I check out this board 3 times a day. Just before work, at lunch and when I'm settling down for the night. Weekends 5-6 times a day. I read every board on this forum. I may not post alot but that's because if I have a question I use the search and also google. If I can't seem to find the answer I need thats when I post.

The one thing that drives me crazy is seeing the same questions asked everyday. (Sorry if I offended anyone) Thats what the search is for.

So, just because I don't post alot doesn't mean that I'm not here. I hope I never have to ask for help but you never know. I would hope if I ever needed a piece of fabric that I may be short of this group would be there for me. I always look to see what people are needing, but so far I haven't had anything they are looking for.

OK, I'm done. I hope I haven't offended anyone with this post. :)

Have a great week!

Mary Ellen;

God bless you for honoring your grandmother's request regarding the fabric used in her quilt.

I was drawn in by your post. It was deeply moving. I am terribly sorry about all your losses. Please continue to be part of this board and continue to post. I don't get on here much but just lurk due to job right now - just don't have the time. God bless you and your family and what you're doing to try to recover normalcy in your life.

Sweetie, if you need some purple or some blue, I'm your gal. Just pm me and I'll be happy to help you out. Right now, I am blessed but have been there with the depression, the pain and the darkness that comes from both within and without that never seems to end nor be relieved by anything. I will pray for your family, you and the sitation.

God's blessings, Chris

All the fabric I have, aside from maybe about 3 yards of fabric, has been donated from the wonderful ladies here. Even my sewing machine was donated to me. I didn't ask for them. I do ask occasionally, but thats if A. I can't find it one my own and B. I can't really afford it either.

I'm a college student most definitely don't have the money. Moms money goes towards the bills and food. So I'm one legitimate needs people on here. I don't complain though. If I can get fabric on my own, I do. If I am unable to, I wait till we can.

My sentiments, too. Again, thanks, Patrice. Your advice is appreciated.

Someone sent me a PM too send her selvages I mailed her a small box of them, after I sent them she PMd me again and said she need 1" or 1-1/2" of fabric with the selvages, I told her she didn't tell me that before I sent them, as I just cut off the selvages and use the rest. She did not PM to say she recieved the box. I will not do anything like that again. I don't really care what people think of me, I won't be taken again.
I also had mentioned in a thread that I had a PVC quilting frame I wouldn't use any more and someone PMd me to buy it. I was selling it cheap and was to get the bank check this past monday. I PMd back and said when I got the check I would ship it - at my own expense to her. Quess what? Still don't have the check, I do still have my quilt frame.
I grew up dirt poor and we never asked anyone for anything and I don't like to be asked for anything. If I want to give something I will give, don't like to be asked. Every year I donate lots of really nice, usable items to S.A or GW and I never get a receipt.
Thankfully there aren't too many "slugs" like that on this board.
If I couldn't afford to buy fabric I would not ask anyone for it. I have noticed one woman on here asked for fabric, said she couldn't afford to buy it. Then she posted later that she bought a new sewing machine and a little later she posted that her and her Hubby took a vacation. Haven't seen her on here after that. I think that was pretty crummy.
Like I said before, I don't care what anyone thinks of me for feeling like I do.
Sorry for this being so long, is a hot point with me. I don't like beggers.

Are you kidding ? This person received a new sewing room ? Well good god ! This is something that has just rubbed me the wrong way . I have seen several new members , very first post , " I'm new send me some fabric " ! Well how nervy can you be ! Never saw their names online again either .

I don't have much but not begging either . Bev this isn't aimed at you at all my friend . I love your pics of your blocks as you post them . I recently sent Bev some small pieces , and don't mind sharing what I do have . Annie

i think i'll keep to myself a description of what grinds my teeth to powder. i would, however, like to share a few examples of what always makes me feel very good when it comes to this question.

it warms my heart and lights its darkest corners whenever i see that someone who has received a significant number of gift packages (1) knows when enough is enough; (2) lets us know that she is now in good shape and will not need any more freebies; (3) pays it forward by donating some or most of what she's made to charities; (4) pays it forward by sending some of what she's gained to others who demonstrate a legitimate need.

i guess i don't worry about such things, if a person is willing to ask for something and i have it and am willing to part with it, it does not matter to me what their financial situation may be...i work hard, and lots...but if something is offered for free i am certainly not opposed to accepting it. i always believe in PAY IT FORWARD and always assume the best of people. i have given away probably 50 lbs of scraps to different people on this forum and another...i have never thought about wondering if they could afford to buy their own...what does it matter?

Here is my humble opinion. The world is full of those who are in need. Some who are truly in need and some who are just plain needy and will take "anything" that is free or a handout. And some scammers are more obvious than others. If I am able to give, I will give. I am fortunate, because I don't have to worry about whether or not I am being scammed. It is not my place to judge. There is a higher power for that.
I have, in the past, given to those who didn't ask and didn't know who gave to them. Their need was apparent and I did what I could. Have I been scammed before...probably. Do I stop giving help when I am able because I might be scammed...no.
In a nutshell, if you want to give help to someone, do so with a pure heart and don't worry about being scammed. You will be blessed for your generosity and perhaps the person you helped will help someone else down the road because of you. If they don't, so be it. You did something good.

This topic has brought me tears, made me laugh, made me say "ah-ha", made me think. Thank you Patrice for your words to explain, It is comforting to know you guys are taking care of us. Unfortunately, our dearest friends who receive goodies from us took offense and it wasn't meant for them. Like Patrice said, we can all read, I see where one who got help and is needy will help another, I have a stash but one day I may need to ask for a particular fabric, and I will too you guys LOL, but when I receive it I will pay it forward. I have already built a relationship with others who share. So please don't be afraid to ask if you need it, do it....when you see someone offer, jump on it. It's only for those who continually make us read your posts on every subject every day. I will be posting more next week. better keep an eye out.lol. Happy quilting everyone. I post for anyone who needs it to PM me and I get those, have never been spammed or solicited unexpectedly. Hope I never do. TTFN

I haven't actually passed on to you, yet, Bev, but don't worry. No one here is pointing fingers at anyone.
You are just the type of person that I love to help bc I am on a fixed income too.
I just started my stash before it became fixed and since i am a giver when I can be, I have been given a lot too.
My mom can't see to sew anymore, so I got an early inheritance...only daughter:thumbup: and now sharing with one of my own girls that has been bit :mrgreen:

I think it is a judgement call and you have to go on faith.
Truly needing ppl that are appreciative will post thank you's a.s.a.p....as soon as possible.
Thank you is such an easy thing to say and means a lot to the giver, and let's them know you received the gift.
I used to have a HARD time asking for any kind of help, but as quilters, we do so much that is for other ppl, and not even for ourselves, that I have a new outlook about it.
I also feel blessed when ppl will LET me give to them and don't feel obligated to give something back.
Sooner or later we all give and get and it comes out in the wash,...and it's so much FUN! :XD: :XD: :XD:

Actually, in my personal opinion...contacting someone by PM, and outright asking for fabrics, etc. unless you are doing a group project that person is participating in...I think that is pushy, if not rude.
Your putting someone on the spot.
I don't mind seeing a thread that says, "I love to quilt, but low on stash, and could sure use your scraps etc."
I don't mind that at all.
Then if you have extra's you can pm that person for their info...but I don't want to be personally picked out and pm'd with a request. That is like panhandling, and I wouldn't do it.
I just treat ppl basically like I want to be treated.
(Those that I owe squishies too and have been slow for whatever my reasons are...please forgive me. ;) )
I have a couple ppl I told I was sending them something and haven't finished their stuff, and it has been a while. That makes me die of embarrassment, but I pray that knowing I have many chronic health disorders will help them understand I don't do these things on purpose and will eventually get 'er done! :-D

I got that same pm and didn't respond simply bc I am using mine, but I don't think a person should personally ask an individual.
I once was pm'd here by someone saying we had so much in common and the same birthdate and wanted to know stuff about me.
I immediately went to their profile bc I hadn't heard of them.
Zip info and that days date...not one thread.
So I immediately pm'd a moderator to let them know this person was lurking around.
Yes, a true hearted quilter will join in, give in friendship and encouragement before making their own needs known. You can usually sniff a beggar out.
A quilting person with unfortunate circumstances is not a beggar. We all know quilting is therapeutic as well as a blessing in many other ways.
You bless ppl by being a friend, even if you are never able to give with fabric or notions. I don't expect anything from anyone, but could jump ten feet high when I have, it's so sweet.
If we get taken, we should not feel bad. We are doing the right thing with a right heart. Shame is on them.

If I send fabric to someone I don't want anything back. I already got something.......... a good feeling inside me. That's all that matters to me :)

I have to say I always get excited if I have fabric that might help someone out, especially if I know I won't use the fabric myself. I hate to let something sit on my shelves for years when I know someone else could use it. The few times I have sent others fabric or whatnot, I did it without being asked, or else with them offering to pay for it (which takes all the fun out of sending it, in my opinion.) Anyway, it does come down to OUR right to refuse requests and we should not feel bad when we do. Likewise, it is our choice to help another and hopefully get a heartfelt thanks on the other end. If we don't, we can choose not to help that person out again - but hopefully it won't taint us helping others out who would appreciate our generousity.

I don't think we are being "rats":shock:, lol...
(being funny with you, bc I R A MOUSIE! :lol: )
if we keep admin and moderators aware of what goes on behind the scenes.
I feel it is my way of helping them with the board, since they give so much of their time and energy to us.:thumbup:

karielt, you are the epitomy of a generous quilter.
Teaching the craft and giving someone a new "love" to help see them through the happy and sad times of life, is so wonderful.
My girls weren't really into sewing when growing up, but they always saw me doing it...now, one has got the bug...for sewing, not quilting...YET!...but I have been priviliged to help her and she has made four blouses recently.
It is a thrill as a quilter/sewer to pass on my hobby, so I know the joy you are experiencing.
Bless your heart :thumbup:

I'm sending you mousie hugs and kisses, marsye bc you give me tons of laughs! :XD:

I agree.I will also help when I can.

Gramof6, I have a large stash, and I don't feel guilty if I don't want to give it all away.
My husband, and when I was able...I worked...can't anymore...but my hubby worked at a hot, nasty job that he hated, for many years, that has took a lot of his good health out of him...and much of what I have came from his being out there for me and for our kids.
So, I am very careful what i do with it, and don't feel I owe anybody anything, but him and the good Lord of course.
However, if a quilting brother or sister, that I know, is in need and I have the box, postage money etc. at the time and not eyebrow deep in family stuff and life, I stop and make a package up.
I don't give a lot at a time bc 1-postage...fixed income now,
and 2-want to help more ppl than is possible, so I try to spread it out.
3-passing...hallelujah to my daughter and granddaughter so far, and maybe more DD's in future if they get "bit" too! woo hoo! :thumbup:

LOL! run over to her donut shop, Bettia!!!
But don't get the kind with the quilt designs...you won't be able to bring yourself to eat it!
MMM, try the blueberry filled glaze...dang it, girlfriend, now I'M hungry too...ok, let's bust the joint wide open...Marsye, here we come...hide the stash! ;)

OH MAN!!!! forget the donuts...YUM!!!!!!! :-P

I can tell you a little story that may explain why we should keep helping others if we can.It should not be because we have to but because we want to!
For many years I volunteered for the Salvation Army and got really fed up with some of the people who came in there on a regular basis to ask for food and clothing and having a fancy cell phone in their hand, and a much nicer car outside then I have. I mentioned these concerns to the supervisor and she explained to me. You see she said “The cell phones are almost a necessity nowadays, some people can’t afford home phones and if they are looking for a job, they just simply need a phone and we cannot forget emergencies if they have children. As for the cars, well it may not be theirs it may be a neighbors or a friends, and who can drag 10 bags of groceries home without transportation?” Ashamed of my premature judging, I went on with my business but she knew that I had a real problem with her explanation. She came back and smiled at me and said” Look, it is like this….some people will take advantage of us and there will always be people who are not honest. BUT...if we feed only one child that really needs us and is hungry……we done our job.” This note is in memory of Teresa…..the biggest humanitarian I have ever had the pleasure to work with and be friends with.
A couple of days ago I promised myself...That’s it I will not do this anymore and I am fed up with people who can't even take the time to send you a note, telling you if they got their gift or not. Well…today Teresa came back into my mind and I knew that I will keep giving because it simply makes me feel good.
I hope you all have a great day !!! :-)

I'm happy to see someone say that they like, "just keep things circulating"...bc what can happen sometimes, is a person would like to do for each one that did for them, and after a while, the pile of "obligations" is so heavy they feel bad.
someone on here said the other day that they don't make 'to do lists', just enjoying the quilting ride and the changing scenery.
That's the healthiest outlook to have, bc we all know we have more projects than time, etc. and after a while your so bogged down with "have-to's"...the fun goes out of it all.
I just do what I can, when I can, give here and there, but always, pray I remember to say THANK YOU! bc I am truly blessed down to my socks by even a little card.
I love being part of such a caring group of ppl that feel like family to me! :D

I tend to think anyone that is always needing will always need. I share and give to quilters who can share and give to others.

I grew up dirt poor and we never asked anyone for anything and I don't like to be asked for anything. If I want to give something I will give, don't like to be asked. Every year I donate lots of really nice, usable items to S.A or GW and I never get a receipt.
Thankfully there aren't too many "slugs" like that on this board.
If I couldn't afford to buy fabric I would not ask anyone for it. I have noticed one woman on here asked for fabric, said she couldn't afford to buy it. Then she posted later that she bought a new sewing machine and a little later she posted that her and her Hubby took a vacation. Haven't seen her on here after that. I think that was pretty crummy.
Like I said before, I don't care what anyone thinks of me for feeling like I do.
Sorry for this being so long, is a hot point with me. I don't like beggers.[/quote]

I grew up dirt poor and we never asked anyone for anything and I don't like to be asked for anything. If I want to give something I will give, don't like to be asked. Every year I donate lots of really nice, usable items to S.A or GW and I never get a receipt.
Thankfully there aren't too many "slugs" like that on this board.
If I couldn't afford to buy fabric I would not ask anyone for it. I have noticed one woman on here asked for fabric, said she couldn't afford to buy it. Then she posted later that she bought a new sewing machine and a little later she posted that her and her Hubby took a vacation. Haven't seen her on here after that. I think that was pretty crummy.
Like I said before, I don't care what anyone thinks of me for feeling like I do.
Sorry for this being so long, is a hot point with me. I don't like beggers.[/quote]

I want , I want , I want... lol well I do, but I must say, my wants are for friendship and a feeling of belonging. If I should be so lucky and become the receiver of a small donation, I will thank you and for sure help another when can. Reading this topic, I had mixed feelings of receiving as to giving, meaning I surly would not want some to think I were a moocher or a needy person. If I were to accept or raise my hand for a pkg at times it would be because I would enjoy something of another's choosing and make something to keep from that "someone", sorta like a piece of the "board" so to speak. If the day came I really was in dire need of a pkg to be able to quilt, I certainly would hope it would come from the heart and generousity of the giver. A thank you would be given with true heartfelt joy.

If there are some that come to take advantage of the openess of quilters generousity, then shame on them for sure, but I feel that giving something to those that ask, if you are able, is a joy and a priviledge and a pleasure. I hope that any that read this topic will not shy away from asking if in need. Bless the heart of a giver and the heart of the thankful receiver...

Sharon

I got the one on the selvages also and don't know if she got them or not, I never heard from her.
Every year I donate lots of really nice, usable items to S.A or GW and I never get a receipt.
Thankfully there aren't too many "slugs" like that on this board.
If I couldn't afford to buy fabric I would not ask anyone for it. I have noticed one woman on here asked for fabric, said she couldn't afford to buy it. Then she posted later that she bought a new sewing machine and a little later she posted that her and her Hubby took a vacation. Haven't seen her on here after that. I think that was pretty crummy.
Like I said before, I don't care what anyone thinks of me for feeling like I do.
Sorry for this being so long, is a hot point with me. I don't like beggers.[/quote]

I changed my mind and won't donate unless I partcipate in something for someone else.

I can understand anyone not wanting to be taken advantage of. It happens, I know. And if someone is going around hitting up many members with PMs asking for things, that just doesn't seem right to me either, and I agree it should be reported. That is very different than announcing to the board in general that one needs a certain kind of fabric and asking for help or to trade. It's also different than asking for one of the bundles that is offered up for grabs when someone is passing it forward.
Everyone is so giving and generous on this board. Just today a whole flock of birds flew into my house from dear Martina down in Texas. I was so excited to see them!! My son let me know that he wants birds on his quilt when I get around to making it! I may be putting out the call for help on that when the time gets nearer, as I don't come across too much bird material at the thrift stores where I shop.
I love getting fabric, and I love passing it forward when I can. When I find something good at the thrift store, I get it just so I can pass it forward or trade, depending on what works for the person that wants it. I love this board!!!

I am glad you like the "birds".. :thumbup: I love to share, trade,and give because of the many people like you on this board!! I love it here too :lol:

I think it's a Great thing to help out others who ask. I have been the recipient and also the donor. Even if i don't know the person i feel better knowing i could do something little to brighten their world. If it's a "scam" so be it! Only the one who gives in earnest get the true reward....."kindness of heart"

I received a lot from the women on here, and I did make a thank you thread, and I still have yet to get around to getting photos taken of the things of the items I received. But not only did I make a thread I send thank you cards to those who sent me things or I tried to get everyone a thank you card. I think a very small handful of people did not receive a card. I know that the woman who sent me the sewing machine did not receive one, but that was due to not having an address to send one to. But I did make sure to thank her for the machine one here...

I think most of the people on this board are wonderful and caring. When I send something to share with someone, I do so from the heart and not with an expectation of profuse thank you notes or messages. In a perfect world, I simply want to know that the squishy got there and that it is useful to the person. That said, I consider it rude when a gift is not even acknowledged but I won't let someone's rudeness change my ways.

I read recently in a German quilting forum that the moderators disallowed requests for charitable contributions unless the resulting works went to a community-based cause OR there was some form of exchange. I hope we won't end up here. After all, if someone asks for a hand-out (or a hand-up) it is up to each and every one of us individually whether we want to share with that person or not.

:thumbup: well said Martina :thumbup: This is about what I was trying to say when I posted...I am not sure if it came across that way...but here ya go people......WHAT SHE SAID!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

:) I do think that the mbrs here are generous and wishing only the best for each other. A helping hand, a trade, a gift of fabric or the sale of an item is all in the spirit of things among quilters. Let's not change, keep the faith and charity alive! Yay, quilters! :D

I am in a couple of Yahoo groups that make things and send to our troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. There are a lot of those kids (at my age, I call em kids) that have no families, were raised in foster homes. No one to send them even a letter. We send them care boxes of goodies or what ever.
also make and send cool ties and crocheted slippers and hats.
blankets for those wounded. I did not know that if they get their clothes blown off in battle that they have to buy new. So a blanket may be all they have at the time. :cry:
All that to say that most people in those groups are honest but ever so often you find a moocker.

well i agree some of you not all i,ve been here since 2007 or more and have seen the same one asking for a hand out ,but like someone said it,s our hobby we should support our own hubby why can,t they use and make do with want they can use i also get s.s. checks as well,if sewing makes me happy then i,ll find a way to do it i,ll save money, go to goodwill, use old cloths,buy sheets from sale,s or yard sale,s,i mean come on if you have internet then you can afford to find a way im sure but im sorry to say this but some are just lazy they want it to come to them and not even offer to pay for shipping cost or a thank you later im sorry i said that but it,s ture ,i can,t or won,t expect anyone to keep supporting my hobby and im not a bad person eighter i give to the hungery on the streets and buy food for familys that have childern or help seniors that need food ,ive even gone as far as paying for peoples copay for their meds,it,s like my paster always say,s common sense pepole use your common sense and i truely believe that .when there,s a will there,s a way ,im not going to wait for fabric to fall on my lap or ask for it i,ll buy it when i have the money for it, or if i need it that bad gee i,ll go take my can,s that i collect for cash it better then asking. that,s just the way i see it. i think new people see others asking so they think i do the same thing too.i think if you need fabric then wait for someone to offer some for free but give then a thank you and send them something for there help the needy can also give back .sorry for beining so hard but it,s ture enough is enough we all have hard times right now including myself