I don't want to sound like a witch here but how do you know people are being honest when they ask for hand outs or donations because they can't afford it, etc? I have always wondered about this when you can't actually see them and their situation. I'm always willing to help someone in need when I can see whats going on with my own eyes but online how can you be sure your not being snookered? I'm not pointing my finger at anybody on here. We also have a local forum in our town and people ask for hand outs on there too. Please don't hit me! I'll cry. :lol:

For me I watch and listen and see how long they have been a member. Nothing is fool proof. But if I see a new member always hinting around or asking , I shy away from that. Others have been here awhile and you know more about their background.

Some ask, ask, ask and never acknowledge that they have received anything publicly , like they don't want you to know how much they have already received.

Others post as soon as they receive something to say THANK YOU .

It is a trust thing and you just hope for honesty.

I hear you and I've wondered that myself. That said, I do try and help out when I can and if I'm being "snookered", so be it. I think (hope) most people are honest and if they aren't, the guilt is on them. I've done the right thing and can live easily with myself knowing that. I've said before that the thing that bothers me is someone who comes on here the first or second time and starts asking for things and then we never hear from them again. I'm wary of that now. I also don't like it when people never bother to email and say the package arrived. You know who you are! In both these instances, I KNOW I've been "snookered". Once a fool, shame on them. Twice a fool, shame on me!

I guess you really don't know. You just have to assume they are. I really don't mind sharing what I have and I guess they have to deal with their own conscience if they are not being honest.

I just hope they are being honest.
Marsye, where did donkey go? I love him.

Well for me when I help someone with out knowing there situation, I say a prayer and give it to them in GODs name! So I dont care if I was "used" and I try to never give money if they say what they want or need I try to give that!!

I guess I pretty much believe anyone, maybe I am too trusting...but with the economy the way it is, I know alot are suffering. And when you dont have money, what do you buy first...food or fabric. I just doubt anyonewith alot of money isgoing to ask for fabric.
LOL, I could be wrong, but I just try to have faith in people, ya know?

I have been approached here recently from someone I had no contact with or connection in any thread that I could find, asking for fabric. It kind of turned me off.

However, I also responded to an offer for a trade and had a couple of people contact me offering to buy or barter fabric with me, to build their stashes. I have no problem with that. I sent one lady a whole bunch of strips and bits, and she has responded both with photos and emails to me, and on the board. I didn't charge her anything and it was a joy. Another person here I know is going through a tough time and I sent a care package. Again, it's just paying it forward.

I'm kind of with jamh on this- if I have a bad feeling, I don't participate. If I send stuff, I only worry about my own motives, and let go of the other person's. If I get used occasionally, but help honest people along the way, that's fine with me.

I used to live near a rough section of Phoenix/Glendale, AZ, with lots of panhandling in the grocery store lot. I got into the habit of buying extra beans, rice, and a couple of boxes of mac and cheese. If you tell me you want to feed your kids, I'll give you food- not money for drugs.

I only have to worry about my actions. I believe in the long run, the universe settles the score.

I don't see how people here are being dishonest. They want something, and they are asking for it. You give or you don't. If there are strings on your gifts, maybe you shouldn't give.

I love to help others all that I can, I figure if they are being dishonest then that is on them. I had asked for help with sports fabric once and I received so much I had to start turning ppl down cause I didn't want to seem greedy. What ever I had left over I sent to another quilter that was in need of the same thing. That being said I prefer to come across the person and not receive a PM asking for help especially when they are brand new to the QB and know they can't post in the classifieds until they are regular members. I always try to let ppl know where my fabric comes from so that I don't waste my time. I could go on forever but I will stop.

Well said Hazeljane! :thumbup:

Hazeljane ~ I have had the SAME thing happen to me! Twice, two complete strangers PM'd me asking me for stuff. I just thought it was kind of weird ~ I looked them up and I never had responded to anything they had said. I just deleted their PMs to me. Odd.

I have sent things to people on the board and also have received things. I really appreciate the things I have received When I was working I could share now that I am laid off things are different. When I give I do it from my heart and hope the person getting things can use it or pass it along to someone who can. I give with no strings attached.

I like to hear about someone doing good work for others and give that way. The person may not need help, but I find it is appreciated.

I give new meaning to the phrase ticked pink when I receive fabrics and notions in the mail. I stand out at the mail box and do a happy dance. My kids think I'm crazy. As soon as I am back in the apt I go straight to the cp and send out my thank you's. It doesn't take much to get me excited I guess.

I guess maybe I ask to much for fabrics, but being on ssi , i am financially limited. so when i get fabs i appreciate it cuz i get to sew. i show pics constantly to show everyone that i am using their fabrics and i'm quick to say thank you. I've been here a couple years and if i ask for alot, please pm me and tell me. Sometimes I get so excited when sewing with these fabs, I don't think .... So PLEASE tell me if I'm overdoing it. :oops:

Could it be sometimes that this is such a huge collection of people that when somebody asks for something - like you did, cjomomma - the response is wa-a-ay bigger than expected. Now, we all like free, unexpected goodies, so maybe the recipient is overwhelmed with the response and turning off that tap is a challenge. Too much of a good thing isn't quite so good.

Hi everybody! Wow, that IS strange to get a PM for fabric from someone you've never had contact with. I wouldn't respond either but I will gladly share what I have with a lot of people on here so that someone else gets to sew. I feel like I know so many of you by now :D My problems is I'm afraid somebody won't like what I send. I know it's silly. I need to get over it! If they can't use it they can always give it to someone else :D
I love this board and all of YOU :D:D:D:D

One time a homeless man was asking for money by my husband's work, so I give him 5.00. I was wanting for my husband to get done with work so I was waiting awhile. And much to my surprise I saw the homeless mn walk away and get into a brand new Catty. Needless to say I needed the money more than him. That's Chicago for ya.

I got hit like that once. I give food and clothing now. If I see some one hungry, I order something and give it to them. Did that one time at Mc D's. Little old guy, drinking coffee, frail and thin....I bought him breakfast and he SOO loved it....I like helping others out. I have been there when I was hungry and had no clothing or no shelter....SO I thank God for what I have everyday.

It is hard not to let one or two bad experiences burn you.

A few years ago I belonged to an MSN quilt group and one of the members asked if I could help her out learning how to quilt. I agreed. She actually got upset with me that I wasn't sending her enough (after I cut all the pieces for her and sent her the instructions on how to piece a simple quilt for her son) but since it was going up to Canada, I said I wasn't going to pay for shipping for the batting and that she would have to go buy some. Anyway, about a month later, she e-mailed me asking for $100 to help them get school supplies for their kids to go to school. I told her I couldn't send her the money (and at the time, I really couldn't!). She got angry and said she knew I could afford to, I just was being selfish. I was appalled. Needless to say, I didn't send her the money and ended up having to block her from my e-mail. The moderator of the MSN group removed her from membership as well because she was soliciting other members for money and fabric.

On the flip side, I have sent out fabric and supplies when I KNOW it will find a grateful recipient who genuinely wants and needs the fabric. I totally believe that when we bless others, we are blessed ourselves.

Bev-

I don't think putting out a broadcast that you could use something in particular is the same thing at all. You are a regular, and we can all see that you use it. If you put it out in the forums, you give people a choice, in my opinion. If I read your post and have what you need, I can choose to send it, and if I don't have it, maybe someone else will.

It's different if you are pm'ing specific people you don't know and asking them for something. I don't think this thread is at all aimed at folks like you. For me, sending stuff feels so good. I have too much and it's only pleasure for me to share pieces I know will go to good use.

This is a huge group, from all different circumstances. ( It was not that long ago that my circumstances financially were on the scary side.) One of the things I love here is the willingness to sponsor, mentor, help out, pass along. I don't want to see that go away, or to see people self-conscious. So please don't worry about that.

I have wondered the exact same thing but didn't know how to put it in words or who to direct it to.

Bev I agree it's not about ppl like you or penny (I know a few others but names slip my mind) who really need help and use what you get and are so appreciative of what you get. By all means don't be afraid to ask for help. I am always willing to share what I got. I might have to ask for help with shipping but I like to share. It is those strangers begging with PMs that I think is getting to everyone. Ppl just trying to take advantage of our kindness.

You've got to be kidding!!!!!!!!!! Wow, that's brazen!!!

Ditto!!!!!!!!!!! :D

i have had a few expierences like most , but have found i like to pay it forward as i have seen bad times myself, and if i can helpp any body then thats what i do, ilike giving with no return just me not only if i can help somebody out then they are helping me lower my stash(lol) and makes me feel good.
ive never been good with words but hope i said it right,
this board has given me so much, helped with all there information, smiles and solice and my sanity,

I got a pm too asking for selvedges. The person joined April 23, 2010. Sent me the pm May 8, 2010. I just checked and the person has created 0 topics and made 0 responses to post. I have read post that 'gave me a funny feeling' but how would we ever know? We just have to make the best decisions we can, bless it and go on.

Makes me feel good inside when I help someone. I firmly believe in what goes around - comes around, so some day if I'm in need I'll be helped, too.

I once saw a homeless man begging for food in McD's - and one table full of men started complaining to the manager. I invited the old guy to sit and join us, and as we were leaving I went up to the table full of men and told them to look up the meaning of the word compassion. They didn't have a single word to say to me.

(quote) "I got a pm too asking for selvedges. The person joined April 23, 2010. Sent me the pm May 8, 2010. I just checked and the person has created 0 topics and made 0 responses to post. I have read post that 'gave me a funny feeling' but how would we ever know? We just have to make the best decisions we can, bless it and go on".[/quote]

Hmmm - that same person PM'd me and I also checked and came up with the same results you did. She's not getting any of my selvedges, that's for sure.

This is what I don't like.

Bev - no one here is referring to you. We know your circumstances and you do email to let us know the envelope arrived and you do thank us and you do post pictures so we know you are using the fabric. Not to worry!

I try to help if I can. Sometimes I don't have what people want, but if I do and I don't ever plan on using it, someone else is welcome to it! :)

i dont make posts but like to answer some and welcome newbies like i was welcomed, like i said im not to good with words but feel like everybody here is friends,

For those of you that are receiving the PMs please contact Patrice or Shadow with your concerns. This is not the type of person we want on the board. You can even copy and paste the message you have received with the persons name so they can deal directly with it.

We need everyones help to keep this board a safe, fun place to be :thumbup:

If something is not feeling right , contact Admin or a moderator right away :lol:

Hmmm - that same person PM'd me and I also checked and came up with the same results you did. She's not getting any of my selvedges, that's for sure.

This is what I don't like.

Bev - no one here is referring to you. We know your circumstances and you do email to let us know the envelope arrived and you do thank us and you do post pictures so we know you are using the fabric. Not to worry![/quote]

I received the same PM...interesting :|

I don't know if there is any way you can be completely sure.
I have helped several people and know that they were sincere and appreciative.
But I can think of one person that I do think took advantage of the generosity of our members. The outpouring was tremedous, and she received essentially a new sewing room but all I saw was a quick Thanks. I've seen some other "questionable" requests that just don't ring true. If it doesn't feel right, take a pass.

I had that same person ask me a month or so ago to save selvage strips for her. I did reply that I would save them, definitely don’t plan on it now since she obviously isn’t a participant here.

Like SharonB, I look people up and try to determine if they are legimately in need of what they asked for. In my opinion, most quilters are honest people.

I feel that if I can help I will. I'm one of those people who have asked for help and I have been over whelmed with gratitude to those that have shared. I have a little gal I'm helping her make a quilt for a goal project. I wanted her to learn about the people that love quilting and why. So I asked if people could give up a square fabric and send along their story. Long story short many people on here have sent and are sending and this has got to be the best experience both her and I have ever had. We are going to be building her quilt with the squares and scrapbooking the stories to go along with it. I have one excited little 14 years old here. Her family is struggling. Many people on this board have made it happen for her and I am beyond thankful. I'll be posting pictures as we go.

Seems to me several of us have received a PM from the same person. I'll do as Sharon (moderator) suggested and contact Patrice. I suppose anyone who has been contacted should do the same. I don't like to be a "rat", but we do want to keep the board safe and a fun place to be.

I'm with the person who says they let it go with God.

Maybe it's like the innocent thing...better to let 100 guilty men go free than to jail one truly innocent man. If I have it and they ask, they will get it until I know different then I would not give.

Doing mine now and I do not feel like a rat or tattletale. I feel like a protector.
(I sent mine to patricej.)