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-   -   When People Ask For Hand Outs and Donations (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/when-people-ask-hand-outs-donations-t48820.html)

stpatmom 06-08-2010 06:14 PM


Originally Posted by JanetM

Originally Posted by marsye
I don't want to sound like a witch here but how do you know people are being honest when they ask for hand outs or donations because they can't afford it, etc? I have always wondered about this when you can't actually see them and their situation. I'm always willing to help someone in need when I can see whats going on with my own eyes but online how can you be sure your not being snookered? I'm not pointing my finger at anybody on here. We also have a local forum in our town and people ask for hand outs on there too. Please don't hit me! I'll cry. :lol:

I don't know if there is any way you can be completely sure.
I have helped several people and know that they were sincere and appreciative.
But I can think of one person that I do think took advantage of the generosity of our members. The outpouring was tremedous, and she received essentially a new sewing room but all I saw was a quick Thanks. I've seen some other "questionable" requests that just don't ring true. If it doesn't feel right, take a pass.

I've been reading the board for about a year and a half but just VERY recently became an active participant. The only thing I have to add is..............my husband has been out of work for a while now, about a year and a half. My children attend a Catholic School and we've had to ask for extra financial help from them for my children to keep attending. (Our diocese states that no Catholic family can be turned away due to inability to pay.) It is very humbling so maybe the individual was embarrassed to have had to ask. Maybe not.

Also, I wouldn't mind sending salvages as long as no member on the board that I was familiar with had previously asked. They are not something that I use anyways.

Thank you to everyone who has been able to help. If the need is real, your generosity meant more than you could ever really know.

stpatmom 06-08-2010 06:19 PM


Originally Posted by karielt
I feel that if I can help I will. I'm one of those people who have asked for help and I have been over whelmed with gratitude to those that have shared. I have a little gal I'm helping her make a quilt for a goal project. I wanted her to learn about the people that love quilting and why. So I asked if people could give up a square fabric and send along their story. Long story short many people on here have sent and are sending and this has got to be the best experience both her and I have ever had. We are going to be building her quilt with the squares and scrapbooking the stories to go along with it. I have one excited little 14 years old here. Her family is struggling. Many people on this board have made it happen for her and I am beyond thankful. I'll be posting pictures as we go.

I don't think this is what Marsye was talking about. I think this would make a great project, and I like the part about stories were requested to go along with it. I hope you get a chance to take pictures and post for when the projects are completed.

prezzy 06-08-2010 06:24 PM

I have received an env of crumbs from a member but I do not remember her name on the board to say thank you. I will now write her and say thanks. Thanks everyone for calling my attention to this. I think this board is the best thing next to sliced bread.

no1jan 06-08-2010 06:28 PM

I usually don't give to people who come out and "ask". But yes I am a sucker for the handicapped and the people who truly love to quilt but can't afford it.

Being on disability myself, and having a brother with Down's I know that there are always people less fortunate than me. If I have something and know someone can USE it. I will send it to them.

But if I get the feeling they are just asking for profit or whatever, I don't bother.

I have a tendency to take people at their word, and don't understand how some people can be so sneaky and use people. I go with my feelings. If they sound honest, and I can help them then I will.

I just try and be the best person I can be and try not to think that I am being used!

I have been fortunate and have gotten many good deals at garage sales, etc. But I almost always give away some to people who can use it. I recently got a pile of material and gave half to the senior center close to me as they make things for donations.

If I can't use it, I hope someone else can.

dotcomdtcm 06-08-2010 06:30 PM

I'm always willing to trade or pay, but I know some folks really need help. I believe "giving is getting" . Most pay it forward.

cjomomma 06-08-2010 06:33 PM


Originally Posted by redquilter
roseofsharon - if you got a PM looking for selvedges from someone who joined 4/23 - no she does not post, nor has she ever. I was collecting selvedges for her, but then decided to check her out and when I discovered she apparently only joined so she could request something, I decided not to send.

I got the same one and 2 others from other ppl who had just joined.

debbieumphress 06-08-2010 06:35 PM

Wow, there have been some interesting posts lately... Most of you know by now that I post a lot and love to pay it forward and send packages out. I even had a few ladies request fabric but only if those in real need get it first. So we are all on the same track. You can read posts and see who keeps asking and not posting thanks, etc. Everyone I have sent a box to has always acknowledged me and have also remained my Board friend. I have a lot too. So I figure if one snookers me then there are 10 times that that were blessed with my package. I will continue to send out packages. Some have offered to pay postage too which is a help. I have wonderful stash to share but cannot continue to do the postage. Sorry. For those who can't I will still send them boxes of stash. Just might have to spread it out a little? I was talking to someone this week abuot those who continually post for fabric. Is it really needed or just to up their stash. I love to help them build a stash too. If it feels good do it, if not, go with your senses. I never thought about checking the people out but this is a good idea. I learned something today. Usually, if I see a post of someone needing fabric, I PM them for an address and send them some. Not everyone asks for it. The people who "play" with me know who there are. You are all wonderful new friends and hope to be so in the future. I love this board and all it represents. We won't let a few ruin it for us. By the way, I spent all day cleaning out this sewing room and found lots more to share with but have to get organized first. Let's keep on sharing and having fun. Believe me, those who post "I would if I could", I can't.no money" I would not post every where, I would be embarassed as we all know what is going on. For those who really need it, ask. That's what we are here for. Oops, there I go again on a roll. Have a good evening all.

Bettia 06-08-2010 06:43 PM

uhhhh CarrieAnne, not to be rude, but it's mine.

Gramof6 06-08-2010 06:47 PM

As Debbie U. said, I too have a stash and love to help others by weeding through my fabric from time to time. I am relatively new here but I have read from here for over a year. So I do have a feel for who is real & who may not be. Now that I am a Member, I am going to go through my stuff tomorrow & Thursday, PM a certain Member & ask for her address & ask if I can send her a box. I will do this from time to time, but choose diff. Members ea. time. It makes me feel good to share. I ask nothing in return. Nothing. Don't want anything. If they do not like the fabric, they can do whatever with it. It's no longer mine once I leave it at the PO. On all forums, you do have to watch out for people that take advantage of kind hearts. It happened to me on 2 other forums, but it won't happen again. LOL

Bettia 06-08-2010 06:55 PM

ooops!!!! CarrieAnne, I never did like T-bones that well. I will just take the Ketchup. mmmm thanks


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