Roll-call... spanking
07-30-2017, 03:57 PM
#61
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: SW, MI
Posts: 827
My DIL puts her 8 yo in 'timeout' by sitting on the bottom step. She crosses her arms, pouts while DIL checks out her Facebook, then says ok, you can come out of 'timeout'. REALLY!!!! This solves nothing!! Then my daughter screams all the time. Yikes, both drive me crazy. When they are here, I correct with eye to eye contact, no yelling or time outs. Actually there are really good HERE.
07-30-2017, 05:02 PM
#63
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Central Willamette Valley, Oregon, USA
Posts: 7,695
At my age, I just tell everyhild who visits. we can either be friends, or not friends. My friends act like friends. If they would like to be friends and have fun, we can. (I keep a shelf full of age appropriate, "something to do" for most kids. My grandma did that and never had any problems. It worked for her when my 3 little brothers visited. 
07-31-2017, 06:19 AM
#64
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 464
There is a difference, with a very fine line, between discipline (spanking or any other form used) and child abuse. Physical, verbal and mental abuse have long lasting scars on a child's future, but so does not having loving guidance. Parents allowing children to act in ways that do not mesh with what society expects are not doing their child any favors...they grow up to demanding that the world to cater to them. We see this now with some who feel entitled to do or say anything they want, and damn any person who objects.
When the "public" decides to interject their "opinion" to your child rearing, who has first "rights"? As a mom, I don't want to witness child abuse and would report it, but do I have a right to step in when a parent is setting rules? Where is that fine line?
I do want to add, that I light swat on the bottom is an attention getter. But restraint is hard for some parents. Their own demons live within them.
I read the stories, with tears. That was not discipline that most of you survived...it was child abuse.
When the "public" decides to interject their "opinion" to your child rearing, who has first "rights"? As a mom, I don't want to witness child abuse and would report it, but do I have a right to step in when a parent is setting rules? Where is that fine line?
I do want to add, that I light swat on the bottom is an attention getter. But restraint is hard for some parents. Their own demons live within them.
I read the stories, with tears. That was not discipline that most of you survived...it was child abuse.
Last edited by Bneighbor; 07-31-2017 at 06:29 AM. Reason: tears
07-31-2017, 06:51 AM
#65
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 622
Originally Posted by pewa88
As many have said there is a clear distinct difference in a spanking and an abusive form of corporal punishment. I am saying that any attempt , even if is a swat on the bottom; an appropriate time out; counting to three is better than how most kids are being raised today. Permissiveness, disciplining in a very inconsistent way (ex. yesterday it was wrong to do but today nothing is said- type of thing) is not correct training for children. Without proper training they are very unhappy and floundering and in need of love. Yes, to discipline a child is to love them. My parents spanked me and sometimes said things that maybe they should not have said but I never doubted that they did not love me because they were connected and engaged; I tell you my Mom did not miss anything. She was a 4th grade teacher and I became a teacher and we do have eyes in the back and sides of our heads. If a child knows that you are watching and engaged many times they will think twice before doing something they shouldn't. And yes, children do do things that they shouldn't.
07-31-2017, 06:59 AM
#66
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 622
Originally Posted by Jennie and Me
There is such a huge difference between swatting and beating. No child should ever be beat. But when I look around at todays children, a lot could benefit from a good spanking. There are so many rude, bratty kids out there who are brought up thinking they rule the world. I never wanted to go someplace and have someone say "Oh, Lord, here comes Phyllis with her horrible kids." Children learn really young what they can and can't get away with.
07-31-2017, 07:11 AM
#67
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 622
Originally Posted by romanojg
I was spanked, well it was more harsh than spanking, I did spank my kids and my do grandkids.
It's not my first choice but its definitely an option. I was once asked if I'd like to learn alternatives and not spank my kids. I told the person no, I don't beat my kids or leave marks and that God gave kids a bum so there was a place to spank them.
When I want to school, the teachers also spanked, one had a leather strap in his drawer. Trust me, there were lots of us who didn't anything we weren't supposed to do because we knew what would happen. When my oldest kids were in school, parents had the option to give teachers the right to spank. My kids always thought I had told the teachers yes to spanking, even though I didn't and they did great in school.
When my one son was in his teens, he was a handful always threatened to call the cops if I spanked him or disaplined him at all. So one day I took him to the police dept so they could educate him on the subject. He quickly found out that in our state, its not against the law to spank, I could lock him in his room if I needed too, and I could and did take his door off of his room due to constantly slamming it. By the time we left he never threatened me again on the subject. He also learned that at his age, all I had to do was supply the food in the house, I didn't have to cook it. It was an eye opener for him.
I think you have to look at the child, the situation and if all else fails, then its spanking. I have told my kids, and my grandkids when they are misbehaving that if they don't listen and once I get my but up to spank them, they are going to get it.
It's not my first choice but its definitely an option. I was once asked if I'd like to learn alternatives and not spank my kids. I told the person no, I don't beat my kids or leave marks and that God gave kids a bum so there was a place to spank them.
When I want to school, the teachers also spanked, one had a leather strap in his drawer. Trust me, there were lots of us who didn't anything we weren't supposed to do because we knew what would happen. When my oldest kids were in school, parents had the option to give teachers the right to spank. My kids always thought I had told the teachers yes to spanking, even though I didn't and they did great in school.
When my one son was in his teens, he was a handful always threatened to call the cops if I spanked him or disaplined him at all. So one day I took him to the police dept so they could educate him on the subject. He quickly found out that in our state, its not against the law to spank, I could lock him in his room if I needed too, and I could and did take his door off of his room due to constantly slamming it. By the time we left he never threatened me again on the subject. He also learned that at his age, all I had to do was supply the food in the house, I didn't have to cook it. It was an eye opener for him.
I think you have to look at the child, the situation and if all else fails, then its spanking. I have told my kids, and my grandkids when they are misbehaving that if they don't listen and once I get my but up to spank them, they are going to get it.
07-31-2017, 07:14 AM
#68
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 622
I'm doing my best this morning to play catch-up after a busy weekend, so for now I'm just randomly answering whomever I can until I have more time to revisit the conversation, so please everybody, don't feel as though I am ignoring your replies. I will do my best to try and work my way through everyone's responses as I find the time. 
07-31-2017, 07:14 AM
#69
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Corpus Christi, Tx.
Posts: 16,105
When my folks were having a bad day we were often their targets to strike. Once after I turned 18, my dad was going to strike at me since I was the closest. He had his fist closed and pulled back ready to punch. I told him to step back because I would call the police. Told him to never ever do that to me or my siblings while I still lived under his roof no matter what. I was paying rent and still doing chores like I had from the first day picking up a spoon to learn how to do dishes. I more than earned my keep but was not about to ever put up with his wrath again. Even when I wasn't living there anymore, I reminded them both what I would do. Many times mom stood by and had this face like "I told you what would happen when your father got home". I still loved them and miss their good times but still let them know. There still was a few times we had our moments and got in each other's faces.
07-31-2017, 06:00 PM
#70
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Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 622
Originally Posted by tessagin
When my folks were having a bad day we were often their targets to strike. Once after I turned 18, my dad was going to strike at me since I was the closest. He had his fist closed and pulled back ready to punch. I told him to step back because I would call the police. Told him to never ever do that to me or my siblings while I still lived under his roof no matter what. I was paying rent and still doing chores like I had from the first day picking up a spoon to learn how to do dishes. I more than earned my keep but was not about to ever put up with his wrath again. Even when I wasn't living there anymore, I reminded them both what I would do. Many times mom stood by and had this face like "I told you what would happen when your father got home". I still loved them and miss their good times but still let them know. There still was a few times we had our moments and got in each other's faces.
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