An unruly 2 year old
12-01-2010, 10:30 AM
#23
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: California
Posts: 3,502
Yes, Grandma's house, Grandma's rules. I'll make sure that's followed with the youngest one too.
Reminds me of a man-friend (in his late 50's) telling me of when his daughter was little and they were visiting his grandmother. His daughter was messing around and his grandmother told her to stop. She didn't and broke one of her nick-nacks.
In his words, "It did my heart good to see my daughter get a good, old-fashioned, Oklahoma spanking."
Reminds me of a man-friend (in his late 50's) telling me of when his daughter was little and they were visiting his grandmother. His daughter was messing around and his grandmother told her to stop. She didn't and broke one of her nick-nacks.
In his words, "It did my heart good to see my daughter get a good, old-fashioned, Oklahoma spanking."
12-01-2010, 10:37 AM
#24
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 17,068
Originally Posted by ptquilts
How about keep a little supply of treats in your purse(candy, small toys, etc) and when 3yo has to give up something to 2yo, give the 3yo a little something "Just for him". And don't let him give it to 2yo, insist it is for the 3yo.
This can get much worse - I used to do flea markets. One day, a dad, 8yo boy and 10yo girl were looking at my junk. Girl picked up a little $1 item to buy - suncatcher. Boy saw it and insisted HE wanted it, proceeded to whine and make life miserable until dad said, let him have it (Major wimp). The girl was very nice about it but I could see she was used to this.
The next time I saw them, it was a couple of months later, I told the girl to pick out a piece of jewelry (I always had a selection of costume jewelry, $1 and under) and I gave it to her. I told her why and she really appreciated it. I figured jewelry would be safe from brother's tantrums.
This can get much worse - I used to do flea markets. One day, a dad, 8yo boy and 10yo girl were looking at my junk. Girl picked up a little $1 item to buy - suncatcher. Boy saw it and insisted HE wanted it, proceeded to whine and make life miserable until dad said, let him have it (Major wimp). The girl was very nice about it but I could see she was used to this.
The next time I saw them, it was a couple of months later, I told the girl to pick out a piece of jewelry (I always had a selection of costume jewelry, $1 and under) and I gave it to her. I told her why and she really appreciated it. I figured jewelry would be safe from brother's tantrums.
12-01-2010, 10:37 AM
#25
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: MN
Posts: 24,435
Originally Posted by pittsburgpam
Yes, Grandma's house, Grandma's rules. I'll make sure that's followed with the youngest one too.
Reminds me of a man-friend (in his late 50's) telling me of when his daughter was little and they were visiting his grandmother. His daughter was messing around and his grandmother told her to stop. She didn't and broke one of her nick-nacks.
In his words, "It did my heart good to see my daughter get a good, old-fashioned, Oklahoma spanking."
Reminds me of a man-friend (in his late 50's) telling me of when his daughter was little and they were visiting his grandmother. His daughter was messing around and his grandmother told her to stop. She didn't and broke one of her nick-nacks.
In his words, "It did my heart good to see my daughter get a good, old-fashioned, Oklahoma spanking."
12-01-2010, 10:38 AM
#26
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Washington State
Posts: 5,997
When our youngest granddaughter was here visiting from thousands of miles away, she would throw the most terrible temper tantrums - - I just was sooo disgusted!
At one point, I told the parents "Don't hesitate to beat her on my account!"
I didn't understand it, but I sure didn't like it much.
A year or so later, I went to stay with the family for about three weeks.
After watching what was happening to her while they "took care of her" and the mind games they played while making her think she was in control ... it was AWFUL!
I came home and told my family: "If I had known what was going on in that girl's life when she visited last, I would have sat down and cried with her!"
Things like: she would want to take a certain toy with her to day care - - they wouldn't put it away, they would just "forget" it ...
after a full day at day care, she was rushed to a fast food place to play in the play center until she was exhausted ...
There were a lot of things going on in her life that I couldn't have imagined, and it was pretty much perpetrated by adults who had a lot to do - - a small child not being one of them.
Working parents also have a problem with guilt for leaving their kids at day care all of the time, so they over compensate.
When they were here, she pitched a fit out in the field, and I walked off ... was a bit surprised that she was out there in the middle of nowhere, crying at the top of her lungs, and NO ONE looked out the window to see why she was crying!
Lots of needs not being met ... little kids can't articulate their pain, but they can make a lot of noise trying to get the point across.
I agree with the grandmother who wrote - - when they are at my house, they will play by my rules, and I will discipline them ... but, then, if you know what is happening in their daily lives, you might get a different perspective and solution <wave>
At one point, I told the parents "Don't hesitate to beat her on my account!"
I didn't understand it, but I sure didn't like it much.
A year or so later, I went to stay with the family for about three weeks.
After watching what was happening to her while they "took care of her" and the mind games they played while making her think she was in control ... it was AWFUL!
I came home and told my family: "If I had known what was going on in that girl's life when she visited last, I would have sat down and cried with her!"
Things like: she would want to take a certain toy with her to day care - - they wouldn't put it away, they would just "forget" it ...
after a full day at day care, she was rushed to a fast food place to play in the play center until she was exhausted ...
There were a lot of things going on in her life that I couldn't have imagined, and it was pretty much perpetrated by adults who had a lot to do - - a small child not being one of them.
Working parents also have a problem with guilt for leaving their kids at day care all of the time, so they over compensate.
When they were here, she pitched a fit out in the field, and I walked off ... was a bit surprised that she was out there in the middle of nowhere, crying at the top of her lungs, and NO ONE looked out the window to see why she was crying!
Lots of needs not being met ... little kids can't articulate their pain, but they can make a lot of noise trying to get the point across.
I agree with the grandmother who wrote - - when they are at my house, they will play by my rules, and I will discipline them ... but, then, if you know what is happening in their daily lives, you might get a different perspective and solution <wave>
12-01-2010, 10:43 AM
#27
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal
Posts: 11,908
I have no grand children yet but do have 14 children. I think you handled it gracefully and I think your house your rules is normal. If I had people visiting I would tell the parents to deal with their child and that I was not about to give my lap top. Sometimes as parents we are too lazy or prefer to be our child's friend over doing the right thing. also you mentioned your daughter was upset about you talking to her. I find sometimes I am upset because some one is right. It is a hard position.
12-01-2010, 11:34 AM
#30
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Central North Carolina
Posts: 88
This is an interesting thread for me. I have a 16-month-old who is just beginning to learn tantrums. My husband and I just stay calm and he stops quickly since it isn't working (I know this won't always be the case!). However, my mom gives into everything with him! Want to play with the lamp, ok just let Nana hold it still for you while you beat on it. Then he gets upset when Mommy and Daddy don't let him do the same :)
And yes giving into tantrums definitely creates self-centeredness...I have a 17 year-old brother who is living proof! (no plan after graduation as Mom typically saves the day)
And yes giving into tantrums definitely creates self-centeredness...I have a 17 year-old brother who is living proof! (no plan after graduation as Mom typically saves the day)
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