What would you do?
03-22-2011, 11:20 AM
#11
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 276
First I would ask your age. Advice to a 23 yr old will be different than a 33 yr old. :D
If you are in your 20's I would move and get good jobs and a good savings account before starting a family.
If you are in your 30's, make sure you have 8-12 month living expenses saved up, start on your family and move when it's time.
If you are in your 20's I would move and get good jobs and a good savings account before starting a family.
If you are in your 30's, make sure you have 8-12 month living expenses saved up, start on your family and move when it's time.
03-22-2011, 11:32 AM
#13
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Beautiful Washington state!
Posts: 3,203
[My kids are 3yrs 8 months apart and I love the age difference then our planned baby came 6 years later even better. It is amazing how the older ones want to help and still need you everything will happen in Gods time relax and enjoy each other for now! The family time will be even more special!
quote=Keaghank]So hubby and I are planning two things:
1) moving home (different state)
2) starting a family
The question is, which order? We can't sell our current house until summer 2012 because we received the tax refund, and we can't start a family until at least August because of some medication he's on. I'm not sure whether to have a child and then move shortly afterwards - makes me nervous about finding a job, health insurance (which is currently through my job), a house... OR do you move and then have a child? We both have siblings that have children, and don't want our children to be *so* far off in ages that they don't play with their cousins... but I just think of how nice it would be to go to my family doctor and have my parents and sisters right there. We're so anxious to start, but what do you do? Anyone have some experience and/or advice??[/quote]
quote=Keaghank]So hubby and I are planning two things:
1) moving home (different state)
2) starting a family
The question is, which order? We can't sell our current house until summer 2012 because we received the tax refund, and we can't start a family until at least August because of some medication he's on. I'm not sure whether to have a child and then move shortly afterwards - makes me nervous about finding a job, health insurance (which is currently through my job), a house... OR do you move and then have a child? We both have siblings that have children, and don't want our children to be *so* far off in ages that they don't play with their cousins... but I just think of how nice it would be to go to my family doctor and have my parents and sisters right there. We're so anxious to start, but what do you do? Anyone have some experience and/or advice??[/quote]
03-22-2011, 12:36 PM
#14
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Piedmont Virginia in the Foothills of the Blue Ridge Mtns.
Posts: 8,562
I might not have weighed in on this "opinion" issue but for one thing.....I am a retired childbirth educator and labor doula who had a busy practice with two partners in Austin, TX.
The biggest personal issues we saw in pregnancy and labor were those around couples trying to remodel, move, build, or change jobs. Those all are such emotional stressors that frequently the ends of the pregnancies were difficult or had problems, and labors went awry with inductions, interventions, and surgeries.
I strongly recommend having a baby while you have insurance, a working spouse (or self), and a stable place to live. There will always be people to help with childcare during a move, but not too much to be done with your mind's busy-ness over "issues" while in pregnancy.
What many people fail to take into account is that stress, via catecholamines (hormones of stress and fear), passes the placenta to the baby. Up tight moms too often product up tight, fussy, high maintenance babies......exactly what you *don't* want for a later move.
Give your infant the best start possible.
Blessings to you on this new adventure!
Jan in VA
Certified HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator, CHt., doula
The biggest personal issues we saw in pregnancy and labor were those around couples trying to remodel, move, build, or change jobs. Those all are such emotional stressors that frequently the ends of the pregnancies were difficult or had problems, and labors went awry with inductions, interventions, and surgeries.
I strongly recommend having a baby while you have insurance, a working spouse (or self), and a stable place to live. There will always be people to help with childcare during a move, but not too much to be done with your mind's busy-ness over "issues" while in pregnancy.
What many people fail to take into account is that stress, via catecholamines (hormones of stress and fear), passes the placenta to the baby. Up tight moms too often product up tight, fussy, high maintenance babies......exactly what you *don't* want for a later move.
Give your infant the best start possible.
Blessings to you on this new adventure!
Jan in VA
Certified HypnoBirthing Childbirth Educator, CHt., doula
03-22-2011, 01:14 PM
#16
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,589
Pray ,it brings peace to the sitution,although not always answered in our time though. Make sure that your body is ready, meaning , get a checkup , start on prenatal vitamins, up to date on immunizations ( like rubella, tetanus, etc) have dental work done if needed. Then you will be ahead of the game when it happens. Same for buying a house, do the prep work, then when that dream home finds you, you'll be prepared. :D Of course it depends on your age too. If your younger, you have time to wait, older like I was, well, I had to speed up my time table :lol: We wanted six at the time and wanted them before I turned 35. Wishing you the best. :thumbup:
03-22-2011, 04:00 PM
#18
Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Kennewick, WA
Posts: 180
Well, my best advice is to always keep praying. Anything can be done!
Background, I had a C-section with DS#1 and upon discharge from the hospital flew from SLC to Seattle and spent the next two weeks with my mother, the following two weeks with MIL as we were basically homeless. Had finished up bachelor degrees and were heading to grad school, but the semester and quarter system time table didn't match up.
Moved apartments in the Corvallis, OR when we got into student housing just before birth of DD.
Moved apartments in the same city when we got kicked out of student house just before DS#3 was born.
Moved out of state when DS#3 was 4 months old.
Moved from WA to St. Louis when DS#4 was 6 months ... company move was much easier, living with MIL & FIL for six weeks with 5 kids was harder than the actual move. DS#1 was on a Babe Ruth state championship baseball team and we were trying to finish out the season for him.
So basically, every move I was either 8 or 9 mos pregnant or had a <6month old baby. Wouldn't have planned it that way, but we survived.
Background, I had a C-section with DS#1 and upon discharge from the hospital flew from SLC to Seattle and spent the next two weeks with my mother, the following two weeks with MIL as we were basically homeless. Had finished up bachelor degrees and were heading to grad school, but the semester and quarter system time table didn't match up.
Moved apartments in the Corvallis, OR when we got into student housing just before birth of DD.
Moved apartments in the same city when we got kicked out of student house just before DS#3 was born.
Moved out of state when DS#3 was 4 months old.
Moved from WA to St. Louis when DS#4 was 6 months ... company move was much easier, living with MIL & FIL for six weeks with 5 kids was harder than the actual move. DS#1 was on a Babe Ruth state championship baseball team and we were trying to finish out the season for him.
So basically, every move I was either 8 or 9 mos pregnant or had a <6month old baby. Wouldn't have planned it that way, but we survived.
03-22-2011, 04:24 PM
#19
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 4,541
Well, my DH and I were in the same situation 2/3 years ago that you and your DH sound to be in right now.
We weren't "trying" for a baby, but not preventing either. My DH had just moved to the USA and he and I were living with my mom, and I was supporting DH (while he was waiting for his immigration paperwork to go through) and paying rent to my mom. DH didn't have a job, and then we found out we were pregnant which was totally unexpected since it had taken both of our parents a very long time to have DH and my parents me. Had our DD in Dec 08 (a not planned/not prevented pregnancy) and the BEST thing we ever did. We moved into our own house in June 09.
My honest advice - do what you feel is right. If you want a baby, try! If you want to move first and "settle" your life, then do that.
Babies are a blessing, no matter what. There is no "ideal" time, something is always bound to come up! Just be happy.
We weren't "trying" for a baby, but not preventing either. My DH had just moved to the USA and he and I were living with my mom, and I was supporting DH (while he was waiting for his immigration paperwork to go through) and paying rent to my mom. DH didn't have a job, and then we found out we were pregnant which was totally unexpected since it had taken both of our parents a very long time to have DH and my parents me. Had our DD in Dec 08 (a not planned/not prevented pregnancy) and the BEST thing we ever did. We moved into our own house in June 09.
My honest advice - do what you feel is right. If you want a baby, try! If you want to move first and "settle" your life, then do that.
Babies are a blessing, no matter what. There is no "ideal" time, something is always bound to come up! Just be happy.
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