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Thread: I'm in need of encourgement.

  1. #1
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    I'm in need of encourgement.

    Hello to all you lovely quilters. My screen name is graciegirl I'mlooking forward to meeting you all. I am bit "rusty" picking it back up again up again. I need some encouragement because I am not sure of myself because I am very critical of my work. I'm always thinking I'm not good enough in things I do. I hope will get more confidence with you ladies. Gracie girl

  2. #2
    Super Member SusieQOH's Avatar
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    Hi Graciegirl, this is a wonderful forum to get tips, ideas, and all kinds of good things. I think many of us are critical of ourselves- much more than anyone else. I know I am! This discussion has come up a lot.
    As I get older I'm finding that I enjoy doing what I do a lot more than I used to. I'm not so hard on myself.
    Glad you're here.

  3. #3
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    Welcome from western NY and happy quilting
    Nancy in western NY
    before you speak T.H.I.N.K.
    T – is it True? H – is it Helpful? I – is it Inspiring? N – is it Necessary? K – is it Kind?

    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

  4. #4
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    Welcome from south Louisiana. I am a perfectionist too much of the time too. I’ve heard the bit about a galloping horse but I can’t do it. Look forward to seeing your projects. I keep reminding myself that finished is better than perfect.
    Sew a Little, Love a Lot & Live like you were dying!

  5. #5
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    Graciegirl, you are in good company here. Each of us has our own insecurities, mostly stemming from our upbringing, I daresay, or from being criticized excessively by someone at some point in our lives. Or we were were encouraged in certain areas, but not in others. Or we compare ourselves to others who have had a lot more practice at the skill we're developing.

    The best encouragement I can give you if you want a standard for yourself is to shoot for excellence, not perfection .I don't think perfection is achievable in anything here in this life. But excellence is. That's my belief. I do think everyone can do their best, and that today's best --with practice--will be better a year from now. If I know I've done my best work, I can rest. If something is bugging me, I can change it. Do I obsess as much as some folks? No. Do I obsess more than others? Probably. But this really isn't about holding up someone else's standard to my own. It's not a competition (unless you enter shows, then it is, and so you're submitting to judgment and hopefully welcome constructive criticism of even your best work).

    That is a long-winded way of saying we're all in this together. Do your best, strive for excellence, and let go of perfectionistic tendencies. They will slow you down and probably not bring joy. Excellent results DO bring me joy.

  6. #6
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    Welcome back to quilting!
    Zozee put it so well - we perfectionists (I'm one as well) need to just do our best and learn to accept the fact that our quilts don't need to be perfect.
    Jump in and enjoy the process!

  7. #7
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    Welcome from NJ. A little story about encouragement.... I was at a dinner a couple of weeks ago seated with 8-9 other folks. At some point during the evening one of the ladies across the table was speaking with the woman seated next to her and I caught a snippet of the conversation that contained the word 'quilt'. I asked her if she quilted, yada yada. Conversation evolved to the fact that she had only been quilting for the last three years because she thought she 'couldn't sew'. Her older sister apparently was an extremely accomplished sewist from a young age. This lady had been told - either HS home ec class or a 4-h class when she was young that the project she was working on was nowhere near the perfection of her sister's. Thus, she didn't sew again for many decades.

    She passed over her phone with photos of the many quilts she has done in the last three years and let me tell you, they are wonderful!

    So, as zozee said, don't let anyone else's or your own critique of your work stop you or slow you down. Just join the party!

  8. #8
    Super Member Watson's Avatar
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    Welcome and you're sure to have a good time here.

    A few things that I keep in mind when I am quilting so it doesn't drive me crazy are,
    a) Enjoy the journey. Don't be in a rush for the perfect finish
    b) It's only fabric...what's the worst that can happen?
    c) Someone seeing the quilt doesn't know what you had planned it to look like, they are only pleased by what they see. So if things don't turn out exactly how you had planned, it really doesn't matter because the end result is still beautiful, although perhaps different than what you had envisioned.
    d) Sometimes, things just don't turn out. No shame in learning from them and walking away, IMO.

    Watson

  9. #9
    Super Member MarionsQuilts's Avatar
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    I have been quilting for over 15 years, and there are some days I feel like I just started! It all depends on what pattern you want to tackle! I would suggest starting small before making something really complicated and big. Look through some easy patterns, and then just wing it and have fun!

    I have been on here for a couple of years and every time I come on here with a question or looking for help, I always get tons of advice, information, etc. It is fabulous. Seriously, you will never find a better quilting forum than this one! The number of members, their experience, their kindness and generousity is absolutely amazing.

    Welcome aboard the train of learning and fun!

  10. #10
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    Welcome from Michigan!

  11. #11
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    Welcome! Perfection is over rated. The process of quilting should be relaxing. If you can’t see an imperfection from the curb...let it go.
    Life may not be the party we planned for,but while we are here we should dance!

  12. #12
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    Hi SusieQOH, Thank you so much for your warm message. So happy to meet you

  13. #13
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    Thank you so much for your warm welcome

  14. #14
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    So true and thank you for the great advice

  15. #15
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    welcome -

    i sort of compare quilting skills to athletic skills - for some of us that - for whatever reason we have mobility issues - we make it to the bathroom "in time" - we have just had a "major success"!

    for some others, it's a bad day if it took them longer than six minutes to run a mile.

  16. #16
    Super Member patsan's Avatar
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    Welcome from NY!
    Pat
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    HQ Avanté

  17. #17
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    Welcome to the Board! With every quilt I make there is a point that I don't like the way it is going, but by the end it is always good. But then if there is a color that is not working in the quilt I have no qualms about removing it. A few years ago I was talking with a friend and commented how creative she is and fearless in picking fabrics and colors and she said the person receiving the item doesn't know what it is supposed to look like, so as long as it looks good that is all that matters. Especially when using my embroidery work in the quilt I am a lot more confident.

  18. #18
    Super Member Thumbelina's Avatar
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    Hi Gracie welcome to the board from NE Ohio.

  19. #19
    Senior Member Cheshirepat's Avatar
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    Gracie, that is *exactly* my issue too, every time I begin. I've been doing this on and off (quilting or trying) since 2010. I think that this group is amazing for information, references, inspiration, encouragement and support - I'm sure you'll get a great deal out of it as well. I've been reading and catching up on info for a few weeks before re-activating my login, I'm feeling the wind beneath my wings, lol!
    It's really tough being so self-critical but as I keep seeing here, 'better done than perfect' is the thing I'm trying to keep in mind. I'm 50 now, and my realization that I have only so many quilting years ahead of me is more daunting than making mistakes! Sending you all the support from over here!
    *this space for rent*

  20. #20
    Super Member quilting cat's Avatar
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    Welcome, Gracie girl!
    My LQG makes doll quilts for Christmas for needy children. We are encouraged to practice new techniques on them, because little ones are not critical of our imperfections! I tell myself "It is what it is", and turn them in!
    Post some pictures, and you'll get enough positive feedback to increase your confidence.
    Retired math teacher --
    I CAN FIGURE IT OUT!

  21. #21
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    Hello, and welcome from Dallas Tx. area. We welcome you and have a good time. That is why we are here.

  22. #22
    Super Member Teen's Avatar
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    Welcome from s. California. Great advice given here.... Accepting yourself and all your imperfections goes along way towards being happy in all things you do. Quilting is a craft that should be adding to your life in a positive way...remind yourself of that when you are critical of your work. About the only thing anyone can be perfect at is when we just sit and do nothing. Enjoy your journey!!
    Quilting therapy for the therapist...
    My Summertime Swap blocks: https://www.quiltingboard.com/member...bums19923.html

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