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Thread: Attitudes towards young quilters

  1. #151
    Super Member Gannyrosie's Avatar
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    First off let me say that being on this board for a short time I have found everyone here to be helpful, friendly, honest with their advise whether good or bad. I think I'm in the middle rang of the age of most of the women on this board (55). Quiet honestly their are not many Guilds here locally in New Orleans,La and if there is I don't have time to attend. With that being said, I have noticed that the Quilting community is largely in the upper states where it was a necessity due to weather conditions. Okay to the point, when I would visit my daughter in Boston for her spring break while in college she would take me around many different places. I remember one day we were riding on the "T" and as I was looking around at the people she looked and me and put her right and left index finger on her lips and pulled a smile. Being from the south we tell everyone hello, we make friends with complete strangers, but my experience in going up North it's not the same. ONe day we were walking around and I told many people passing by "Good MOrning" and you could have sworn I was about to rob them. I am not saying that all northern people are this way, please don't get me wrong. I am saying that people in general who live in areas where there is more inside activity due to weather verses outside activities, they just don't relate to people in general. It's not a wrong thing, you just have to realize where their coming from and I do. I think about them being confined to their homes due to extreme weather situations and they don't venture out unless necessary. When people of that type do venture out and find someone who shares their interest, they set a bond, one of necessity. BReaking that bond or joining it requires some very smart reverse psychology. Next time try to just praise them, not anything more, something like meeting an older scared dog for the first time, let them make the judgement of whether or not you are there to harm them or put them out. You will see a difference. But never, never, never, let anyone's else's behavior change your dreams or needs. Okay I'm off my soap box.
    Once again, I hope NO ONE on this board takes my opinion personally. You have ALL been the most helpful group any young or beginner quilter could ever hoped for. Thank you to the Seniors, we need you.

  2. #152
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    Try another shop or guild. My Modern quilt guild has many younger, newer quilters and I really like their fresh outlook, enthusiasm and creativity. I left my old guild of many years because I felt they were very cliquish and close minded to new ideas. The new one is much better. Google 'the modern quilt guild" and once you find the website, there is a link there to search if there is group near you that you could visit. Good luck and don't give up just because of a few unfriendly quilters!

  3. #153
    Super Member annesthreads's Avatar
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    When I started to quilt a few years ago I tried 2 local groups. One of them was unwelcoming to inexperienced quilters, the other couldn't cope with me because I'm single. As soon as they'd found out that I didn't have husband, children, grandchildren (their only topics of conversation) I was ignored. I tried very hard to find common ground (I do have neices and nephews), but they obviously just couldn't cope with this exotic "different" person. Quilting groups are thin on the ground around here, so since then I've worked on my own, with this board and Leah Day's site as my companions. I can imagine that a young person wouldn't have been welcome in that group either. Some people are just very insecure and easily feel threatened, or just too narrow in outlook to take an interest in those who are different from themselves. I'm 59 and have friends in every decade of their lives from 20s to 90s. I learn so much from both ends of the age spectrum.

  4. #154
    Super Member pollyjvan9's Avatar
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    Well, I'm on the other end of the spectrum. I am 73 and enjoy doing new things. Many times I am the only "great-grandmother" in the group with the next oldest may in their 30's. If they look at me funny or ignore me, I just let it roll off my back and keep going. Hopefully, they will be old someday.

  5. #155
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    Red face

    I have set up a blog with the goal of educating shops and brands the importance of using Social Media to attract younger quilters. This is a monumental task (as is indicated by all the comments to her post), so I am looking for anyone who would like to help in the mission of growing quilting into the next generation.

    This would involve:
    1) If you are a brand, shop, guild or industry professional who is using social media today to reach out to the younger generation with success, you may be able to post on the blog to encourage others.
    2) If you know of a brand, shop or guild that should be using social media, you can send them to QuiltingHub.BlogSpot.com to see how others have used it for success.
    3) If you are a brand, shop or guild that has not started social media, I would be happy to help you (for free) to figure out which one would be best to start and how.
    4) If you would like to give me guidance, tips or advice you think would be useful or join the mission in any way, contact me through QuiltingBoard or reply here.

    Together we can grow quilting and make it more welcome for the younger generation.

    Feel free to reach me or reply. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.
    --Paul

  6. #156
    Senior Member petthefabric's Avatar
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    Paul. I think you have a great idea. I don't participate in much social media....part of my generation where statistics show low participation. For your target group the statistics are very high....so great idea. I think the web videos are very helpful for people with full schedules, they can watch on their schedule.

  7. #157
    Senior Member tuckyquilter's Avatar
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    I'd love to have my daughter be interested in quilting. AND we NEED young quilters, both male and female, to carry on the age old traditions. SHAME on those quilters. They should have embraced you and made you welcome. I'm also a QOV quilter, but very new at it. Will be sending my 1st quilt to a LA gal this week. Hang in there and keep sewing/quilting.
    Jackie
    Lover of Scrappy, Chocolate and Wine

  8. #158
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    Oh my heart goes out to anyone who has felt unwelcome! It is very hard to keep going when you don't feel accepted. I'm happy that maybe you can find friends here on QB! I have and it's been a marvelous experience! Keep looking for guilds that are accepting and make you feel welcome! They are out there for sure!

  9. #159
    Super Member cashs_mom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tyoung View Post
    Totally agree here. In our town we have a guild too, and as a new quilter I was hoping to learn from this group of women. I was close to 40, but my age wasn't the problem. It was because I was new. They were not interested in helping a newbie nor were they accepting of newcomers. I quilt going too, because I didn't feel welcome. I kept searching for help in other ways, and here I am six years later still quilting! Don't give up, there are many online groups (like this one) who are very excepting.
    I had this experience with one guild here. It wasn't my age. I was well into my 40's but they definitely weren't welcoming to newbies. I did all the stuff that supposedly helps you fit in but I didn't. I finally just decided this wasn't the group for me and went looking for another. I found one that was great. The ladies helped me with my projects and I learned so much from them. Some groups are just more welcoming than others. Keep looking and you'll find one where you fit.

    Some people are just very insecure and easily feel threatened, or just too narrow in outlook to take an interest in those who are different from themselves. I'm 59 and have friends in every decade of their lives from 20s to 90s. I learn so much from both ends of the age spectrum
    I'm not sure it's always narrowmindedness or insecurity. People like people they have a lot in common with. That's pretty normal. It makes conversation easy. I'm past 60, don't have children and thus no grandchildren and love to show cars. I don't find many women that I have a lot in common with. But it's all right. I can sit and listen politely and make the correct responses and enjoy other's company. The world doesn't have to fit me and what I like for me to to enjoy myself. I've also learned over a lifetime of being decidedly different than my contemporaries that I sometimes have to be the one to find some common ground between myself and others.
    Last edited by cashs_mom; 11-04-2013 at 03:26 PM.

  10. #160
    Super Member Tiggersmom's Avatar
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    As a past president of a large guild, I've found all types of personalities in guilds [and every other "womens" groups].... some are just jealous of your age/beauty/knowledge or they wish they had learned when they were much younger, etc. Some are jealous because your talent outshines theirs...........sad but true, women should support women [and some due] but I've found a lot of over-bearing women [I won't use the term 'ladies'] I've also found some life-long friends. My best advice for what it's worth, going through life you will find maybe 5 true friends you can count on........the rest are all in the 'acquaintance' category. Enjoy yourself with those you like and ignore the others attitudes or it might start rubbing off. Treat any new quilter, whatever their age, with how you would like to be treated. [actually any old quilter either.............kill them with kindness]. hugging you, Jennifer
    Jennifer: Organized in my dreams.
    🌷RIP dear Tigger....you are missed! 🌷

  11. #161
    Super Member Weezy Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by annesthreads View Post
    When I started to quilt a few years ago I tried 2 local groups. One of them was unwelcoming to inexperienced quilters, the other couldn't cope with me because I'm single. As soon as they'd found out that I didn't have husband, children, grandchildren (their only topics of conversation) I was ignored. I tried very hard to find common ground (I do have neices and nephews), but they obviously just couldn't cope with this exotic "different" person. Quilting groups are thin on the ground around here, so since then I've worked on my own, with this board and Leah Day's site as my companions. I can imagine that a young person wouldn't have been welcome in that group either. Some people are just very insecure and easily feel threatened, or just too narrow in outlook to take an interest in those who are different from themselves. I'm 59 and have friends in every decade of their lives from 20s to 90s. I learn so much from both ends of the age spectrum.
    You got it. My grandkids all have 4 legs and tails, and I like it that way. These people also don't seem to relate if you like other hobbies and technology. They can't understand why you would have a camera other than a cell phone, why you drive the truck and other half has a luxury car. Some can't understand why you would waste your time making garments! I tend to do things my way as I don't like some of the marketing techniques used.

  12. #162
    Senior Member Pagzz's Avatar
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    I find it sad when people give up on groups early on. It does take a lot to get to know one another. I belonged to one guild for three years and didn't know many people, but I enjoyed the meetings and was busy with my life. I moved and joined a guild and in this one I have been on committees and an officer and I know more people but that doesn't really matter to me. I enjoy the meetings and the speakers just like in the old guild. What is different here is that the guild really pushes new people to join a small group (bee) or make a new one and those women have become my good friends. Now when someone is visiting the guild I will try and say hello and be friendly BUT I think new people can feel left out because I am trying to catch up with people I know well and care deeply about and I haven't seen them for a month or two and we have 15 mins to socialize before the meeting starts. What I am trying to convey is that a stranger might misunderstand my limited socialization with the new people that show up. I don't intend to make anyone unwelcome.

  13. #163
    Senior Member adnil458's Avatar
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    Such a shame ... the quilting community should realize without new, younger quilters, more and more shops will close. Leaving all of us without the choices we want.

    Keep on keeping on. You and your finishes will be awesome!

  14. #164
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    Like most things....persistence pays off. So just hang in there and I guess acceptance will come. If it doesn't, well try another group. I love it when young people take an interest in my "passions" (quilting, gardening, animals and nature). I am making a quilt for my newest DIL, and was apologising for dragging my feet with it. I told her, I was procrastinating over the basting.....She and my other DIL and another girl (who is definitely gunning for DIL status. wanted to know what this basting thing was. So off to the guest room we went and they got a quick lesson in basting.....should have got them all "needled" up and I might have got it done quicker. Who knows I might have lit a spark.

    Anyway, I digress, I'm sorry you feel your age is a problem. Keep coming here, you will always be welcomed.

  15. #165
    Super Member Jeanette Frantz's Avatar
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    Okay! It's not just in quilting that women (human beings) are stand-offish! My first full-time job after high school was in an office in my home state. As a student, I had courses in shorthand, accounting, business communications, etc. I was hired as a "general flunky" (no offense intended, but I did a little bit of everything). Then, just three months after I was hired, the secretary to the VP of Sales became pregnant and was retiring. ONLY BECAUSE I could take shorthand, I was promoted to that position! Was I ready for it? NO, a thousand times NO! But, I did the job. The other women in the office were so jealous that vicious things were done. I had purchased a new coat -- one (or more) of these women went into the lockers just outside the office door and cut some of the buttons off my new coat. Then, the snide remarks began, my lunch was taken. Eventually, the pressure on me became so great that I developed physical symptoms (without any physical problem), but the pain was no less real. When my doctor told me what was happening, I became very angry. I went to the office where I worked and at the very green age of 18, I told the office manager that either she got these women off my back or I wouldn't be around much longer. The office manger was horrified at the things these women had done. Jealousy is a green monster! Suffice it to say, the office manager put a stop to the shenanigans and I continued to work until I was 5 months pregnant with my son.

    Now, as to quilting, I am a "rank amateur"! I made a Sunbonnet Sue applique quilt about 10-12 years ago and, at the risk of sounding conceited, I did a good job. I have made one queen-sized bed quilt, all satin stitch embroidery on whole cloth.

    The ladies on this board, both young and more seasoned have all welcomed me with proverbial open arms which I appreciate very much. I have sewn all my life, my grandmother quilted, and I just decided that I very much admired her work. I am 68 years old but you have been quilting a lot longer than me. I'll never win a blue ribbon -- not sure I would ever try to!

    You are obviously very talented and in my book, you are more than welcome. I have been the recipient of much guidance and inspiration on this Board. I hope you will continue to participate here -- I have a hunch you could teach this old "dog" some new tricks!

    Keep on Quiltin'

    Jeanette Frantz

  16. #166
    Super Member Elisabrat's Avatar
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    I find some places no matter what age you are.. there are clic's its hard to infiltrate that close knit group. Some are truly more open and maybe starting a group of your own.. would be interesting to hear if you got a bunch of young quilters would you take a newbie old quilter into your fold? just a thought.. you know the music tastes are not the same, the chatter is surley not the same.. just might be exactly what your experiencing. I love people of all ages. I never count young people out you out distance me in learning new things all the time. Your vibrant and joyful to have.. so don't count all older people by a few who gave you a bad taste in your mouth. we are all not like that.
    Linda
    Here today... why what a lucky bunch we are.

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