Husbands...boyfrineds and such regarding quilting
09-18-2011, 08:26 AM
#1
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Georgia
Posts: 1,508
Why do some of us feel we have to account to these men why we have this hobby/craft...whatever we want to call it?
WE DON'T!
If we can't be equals why be attached to a man?
Now getting to our fabrics, machines, sewing, quilting and for that matter any other art form we wish to be a part of.... IMHO they (men) have there toys, and man caves so to speak therefore we should have our girl/women caves and I as much told a man that last week while I was sewing at a friends house. He had the nerve to come into her sewing room and plop (is this even a word) his behind on the cough and start fussing about our sewing, her sewing room and such and she kept quiet all the while. He irriated me so that I spoke up and asked him what kind of toys he had and he stated what he had and I told him for every one thing he wants her to get rid off he should get rid of one of his toys. That shut him up pretty quick. Short of it is he did not tell me to leave and we ended up in a conversation about his being a Christian and asking him "What would Jesus do or say?" and he admitted he did not know. I heard the next couple days that he seems to have changed his attitude about life in general and his wife's stuff. He also told his wife he likes me.
Quite a few years ago hubby pulled that stunt on me coming into my girly cave and telling me to get rid of this and that..... and that I had to much stuff. I made a list of all I had and a list of all what he had (shotguns, rifles, pistols, tons of fishing rods, fishing boat, etc) and I told him that for every item he wanted me to get rid of he had to get rid of one of his toys. That shut him up pretty quick.
Today I am fascinated with sewing machines, needle felting machine, die cutters, fabrics, threads and more and he dare not say anything to me about any of it.
Guess point I'm trying to make is this is no longer the 19th or 20th century where we are expected to be a slave to some man and let him dominate us, it is the 21st century and we work and put forth financially most of us into this relationship therefore they no longer have the privelage of saying "it's my money and I earned it and you get what I want you to have if any and no more".
Hubby also learned some 20 years or so ago really quick by having a bad attitude the feel of my cast iron skillet across his head. That's another story for another time.
So many of us have allowed men to verbally and mentally abuse us let alone physically do so that enough is enough. Mine use to verbally abuse me for years until the day I used that cast iron skillet on across his head.
Today hubby just smiles every time I buy something to do with sewing and or quilting and I don't ask him permission to do so I just buy it if I want it. He even volunteers to put it where I need it without my asking him to do so.
IMHO we women have worked all our lives no matter if in a domestic home career or out of the home and we have done so to help our families be better off financially and no man has any right to tell us what we can or cannot buy unless of course we were buying and using money that were needed to pay bills and such. Than they'd have a right to do so.
Speaking of which regarding quilting I just recently bought the Accuquilt Studio and some studio dies and just ordered a bunch more and got it all at between 40 to 50% off retail. Only way I would buy such. I let him know I had and when it arrived he helped me put it in my Girlie Cave. :-)
The Studio runs alot smoother than the Go machine or the Sizzix Wesminister Big Shot Pro machine. The dies also are made different with being made out of several layers of wood and padding unlike the other dies made out of plastic and foam.
WE DON'T!
If we can't be equals why be attached to a man?
Now getting to our fabrics, machines, sewing, quilting and for that matter any other art form we wish to be a part of.... IMHO they (men) have there toys, and man caves so to speak therefore we should have our girl/women caves and I as much told a man that last week while I was sewing at a friends house. He had the nerve to come into her sewing room and plop (is this even a word) his behind on the cough and start fussing about our sewing, her sewing room and such and she kept quiet all the while. He irriated me so that I spoke up and asked him what kind of toys he had and he stated what he had and I told him for every one thing he wants her to get rid off he should get rid of one of his toys. That shut him up pretty quick. Short of it is he did not tell me to leave and we ended up in a conversation about his being a Christian and asking him "What would Jesus do or say?" and he admitted he did not know. I heard the next couple days that he seems to have changed his attitude about life in general and his wife's stuff. He also told his wife he likes me.
Quite a few years ago hubby pulled that stunt on me coming into my girly cave and telling me to get rid of this and that..... and that I had to much stuff. I made a list of all I had and a list of all what he had (shotguns, rifles, pistols, tons of fishing rods, fishing boat, etc) and I told him that for every item he wanted me to get rid of he had to get rid of one of his toys. That shut him up pretty quick.
Today I am fascinated with sewing machines, needle felting machine, die cutters, fabrics, threads and more and he dare not say anything to me about any of it.
Guess point I'm trying to make is this is no longer the 19th or 20th century where we are expected to be a slave to some man and let him dominate us, it is the 21st century and we work and put forth financially most of us into this relationship therefore they no longer have the privelage of saying "it's my money and I earned it and you get what I want you to have if any and no more".
Hubby also learned some 20 years or so ago really quick by having a bad attitude the feel of my cast iron skillet across his head. That's another story for another time.
So many of us have allowed men to verbally and mentally abuse us let alone physically do so that enough is enough. Mine use to verbally abuse me for years until the day I used that cast iron skillet on across his head.
Today hubby just smiles every time I buy something to do with sewing and or quilting and I don't ask him permission to do so I just buy it if I want it. He even volunteers to put it where I need it without my asking him to do so.
IMHO we women have worked all our lives no matter if in a domestic home career or out of the home and we have done so to help our families be better off financially and no man has any right to tell us what we can or cannot buy unless of course we were buying and using money that were needed to pay bills and such. Than they'd have a right to do so.
Speaking of which regarding quilting I just recently bought the Accuquilt Studio and some studio dies and just ordered a bunch more and got it all at between 40 to 50% off retail. Only way I would buy such. I let him know I had and when it arrived he helped me put it in my Girlie Cave. :-)
The Studio runs alot smoother than the Go machine or the Sizzix Wesminister Big Shot Pro machine. The dies also are made different with being made out of several layers of wood and padding unlike the other dies made out of plastic and foam.
09-18-2011, 08:31 AM
#5
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Outer Space
Posts: 9,319
I have to admit I cringe every time I read "my husband LET me buy or do whatever"..... Anyone who LETS me do anything is in charge of me. And NO ONE is in charge of me, but me! It should be a partnership, not one person in control of another.
09-18-2011, 08:37 AM
#7
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Nebraska..The Good Life
Posts: 2,102
I have been fortunate in life. Both my ex-DH and my new-DH have been very supportive of my sewing hobby and gardening hobby for that matter. Neither of them have ever been verbally or physically abusive and the only thing that dictates my spending is our finances at the time I wish to buy. But you are right, life is too short! If I ever found myself in a situation such as you described, I'd be gone with the wind. No doubt in my mind.
09-18-2011, 08:40 AM
#8
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Murray, Ky. Looking for a nice cushy pillow to rest my head on!
Posts: 14,022
It is a partnership but DH and I try to check with each other just incase the money is needed for the household. We don't have much so we try to spend wisely.
09-18-2011, 08:41 AM
#9
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 2,497
Holy crap clsurz! You are an interesting woman, aren't you?!!! I suppose once in the head is all a man needs to understand exactly where he stands with you and your cast iron skillet!
Women, even in today's world, are abused. I've seen it where I work. It's sad. If more women were given cast iron skillets when they started a relationship or were married, and used them (in a multitude of ways), there'd be a clearer view of where people stand.
Women, even in today's world, are abused. I've seen it where I work. It's sad. If more women were given cast iron skillets when they started a relationship or were married, and used them (in a multitude of ways), there'd be a clearer view of where people stand.
09-18-2011, 08:44 AM
#10
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Georgia
Posts: 1,508
Originally Posted by Candace
I have to admit I cringe every time I read "my husband LET me buy or do whatever"..... Anyone who LETS me do anything is in charge of me. And NO ONE is in charge of me, but me! It should be a partnership, not one person in control of another.
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