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Thread: Husbands/SO and Quilting

  1. #1
    Senior Member Stitch124's Avatar
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    Husbands/SO and Quilting

    So, is your husband/so involved with your quilting/sewing passion? Does he 'love-it' or 'hate-it'? Does he provide help/money/feedback to encourage or discourage you?

    My DH is awesome! Here's why...my DH and I have been married for 8 yrs. All of those years my DD has lived with us. Yep...we've never gotten to be alone and spend time 'getting used to living together.' The DD and GDs where always in need of our attention. She was on-again and off-again with her ex-bf for the first 3 years, and had two children. Her car kept breaking down, and of course, no child support was ever received. Lots of stress, drama, babysitting on our part. Now the ex-bf is history (thank God) and the DD and GDs are in their own house 10 minutes down the road. She finally realized she needed to get out on her own and probably got tired of living with us too! They had so much stuff, clutter, toys, clothes, shoes everywhere I felt so claustrophobic ALL the time. Talk about high-blood pressure. I never could keep my house, bathrooms or kitchen clean, much less keep up with laundry!

    It's hard to explain how wonderful it feels to have so much room now, even in such a small house. We've had to do a lot of 'damage-control' repairs on the walls, floors, doors, molding, door-knobs, etc. We replaced carpet with flooring in both rooms, painted the bunkbeds and touched up the walls. Now, I finally have my own girlie-cave! I was single for 15 years before we got married and I really cherished my 'alone time', which I NEVER had after I got married and especially when DD and GDs were living with us.

    My sweet DH has been so supportive and he loves the GDs like they were his own. But now he also loves going places together more than ever. He even attended a quilt show, one of my guild meetings, and has been to the LQS with me. He appreciates the talent and creativity it takes to make quilts/knit sweaters. He even suggested I get a Handi-quilter and start selling quilts one day. He understands I need my space after working all day. Now that we have our house back and he is retired, he stays home all day and looks for work on the internet, attacks his honey-do list occasionly, reads and does research. Learning is his hobby! What a nerd! LOL

    So the other day he comes to me and said he needs to set up an office in the small bedroom next to the sewing room so we can 'see each other' in the evening, since I spend my evenings in there cutting, piecing and sewing. Usually he's in the living room watching FoxNews, boxing/sports or the History or NatGO, or just falls asleep on the couch.

    NOOOOO! I don't want company!! I like my girlie - cave....no men allowed!!! I will get up and walk to the LR to take a break and visit for a few mins. then it's back to my cave.

    It's funny how women need their 'girlie-cave' just as much as men need their 'man-cave' (his is his garage).

    Attached is a pic of us last Christmas at the local town square Christmas party.

    I'm a lucky girl!!!
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  2. #2
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    Your DH sounds like a winner. My DH is a keeper, too. He never complains about what I buy, just asks that I keep it in my sewing room ("after all, that's what it's for"). He is a musician, so his toys actually cost more than mine, but he actually makes money with his. However, I make the gifts, so it all works out. I've been having some health problems and didn't want to drive the last shop hop, so he played chauffeur. The worst part of that was that I had to play navigator. Gotta get a GPS before the next one! He enjoyed the day and the conversations he struck up with other quilters.

  3. #3
    Super Member nygal's Avatar
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    My husband is also a keeper and I've kept him for over 36 years now!! He NEVER complains if I spend money. He trust my judgment in all things. For many years I had no spare room to sew and I kept my machine on the dining room table as I worked on projects and he didn't mind at all.

    If we are out together I will go into a fabric store and he won't mind at all sitting in the car or even coming in the store with me and help me "hunt" for the perfect shade of green fabric etc. I am blessed!
    When it seems like the world is falling to pieces remember that the pieces are falling into place. We are nearing closer to the End Times.

  4. #4
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    I am blessed too! My hubby is an enabler! He could get along with Satan! He has a blast talking to all the ladies at the quilt shops, quilt shows, anywhere. He's the one who wins the door prizes at the quilt shows!!

    He shares my passion for the needle arts, and I share his for his hot rods, car shows, flea markets, etc.

    It will be 38 years in Oct. and I'm not about to trade him for anything!

  5. #5
    Super Member quilter1's Avatar
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    My DH is an enabler too. He gave up his office space to accomodate my long arm. Never a complaint about what I spend and he will go with me to quilt shops and help me pick out fabrics too. Mind you, I go with him to motorcycle show and shops as well. He has an expensive hobby- 5 bikes- BMWs and Dukatis. Guess he is a keeper, I've kept him for 31 years now.

  6. #6
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    My DH is a keeper also. We went away for our anniversary 2 weeks ago, and he asked me if I made a list of quilt shops. I hadn't, but us quilts can spot one miles away. He stopped at the ones that I found, and didn't tell me I couldn't spend what I wanted too. We have been married for 56 yrs., and I don't want to give him up. I've trained him just the way I want him. LOL
    Love to quilt and play with the great grandkids

  7. #7
    Super Member ontheriver's Avatar
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    I have always sewn, but did not start quilting until my husband passed in 2007, he was only 51. Will never marry again but do have BF now and he is super supportive, makes me things like quilt hangers, goes fabric shopping with me, keeps my vintage machines cleaned, oiled, and running great. He can't complain about what I spend as it is my money. BTW, BF was my high school sweetheart, we got back together after 34 years.
    Jeanann

    Theres nothing wrong with me a little chocolate won't fix.

  8. #8
    Super Member Sierra's Avatar
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    Both my DH and I are retired. After a bit he wanted to move to a simpler place (we lived in a wonderful mountain cabin/house but he worked hard cutting fire wood and keep brush away from the house... we were burned over once). So now we live in an apartment 10 minutes away from a small town, and he does the cleaning and cooking (he's a way better cook than me, but I find he is awful at dusting, so poor me has to do that). Every now and then I have a guilt attack and tell him I'll do more but he tells me he has the easy job, I have the hard job quilting. Even so, he will come in to help me whenever I ask, for design decisions or reaching something.

    The quilt store ladies love to see him coming! He has been told he is color blind in several colors, but he will find fabric, bring it over to me and say "This is a color you use a lot, and yet it's different from anything you have." He held a huge quilt for me while I quilted it (using rolls of cardboard) and following my head nods! He is totally proud of every quilt I do and supports me in every way he can. Some of us are just plain lucky!
    Last edited by Sierra; 04-03-2013 at 07:38 AM.

  9. #9
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    My DH is also an enabler, he always says "Is that all you bought" when I come out of a quilt shop. For years he went with me on quilting excursions and encouraged me in all I do. But unfortunately he has Dementia now and his caregivers take care of him when I go to the quilt shops. Its just not the same but we have been married 57 yrs.

  10. #10
    Junior Member phranny's Avatar
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    I love the visits from my hubby and family to my sewing room in the basement! Just last night he came wandering down the stairs, with a tenative "whatchadoin?" He sat on the love seat which I had placed down there for visitors, and we chatted while I sewed.
    I have been researching a long-arm machine, and he enjoys coming along and seeing the machine work, and asking questions that I hadn't even thought of. Last month we took a road trip to the States, and he humored me while stopping at the quilts shops I had picked out as we traveled. He enjoys chatting with the shop staff, carrying my bags out, finding bargins.
    Definitely a keeper, we've been married 28 years.
    phranny ~ I cannot call my day complete. 'til needle, thread, and fabric meet.

  11. #11
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    Although only married a 'short' almost 22 years, my DH is definitely a keeper. While he frequently teases about my buying 'big pieces of fabric, cutting it up into little pieces and then sewing it back into a big piece', he's very supportive of my quilting. He's a math whiz so he gets stuck doing and/or checking my calculations and such. While he doesn't mind fabric shopping, his tastes are far different than mine so it gets a little stressful doing that at times but he's a sport and does not mind wandering aimlessly in the fabric shops in a different area than I am! And if I'm on a deadline, will do whatever is necessary to help get the job done.

  12. #12
    Power Poster joyce888's Avatar
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    Sounds like you two have a true partnership. I also have a very supportive DH. He may complain about the money I spend on fabric (if he knew the true $s he would probably have a heart attack!), but he truly is a keeper. He gives me tons of encouragement and is so complimentary of my work; but gives me honest opinions when asked.
    Joyce

    Four things you can't recover: The stone.....after the throw. The word......after its said. The occasion.....after its missed. The time......after its gone

  13. #13
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Every marriage is different. DH and I are very independent of each other. I don't feel guilty spending time in my sewing room while he is watching sports or movies that bore me and he doesn't expect me to feel guilty. I honestly don't want him being my shadow in my sewing room or be my shopping partner. He wouldn't like doing that anyway. We do things together we both enjoy, not compromising to please the other. We have no money concerns so that issue is never a problem.
    Got fabric?

  14. #14
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    My dh is very supportive also...he says that as long as momma is happy everyone is happy. I wish he would have figured that out 36 years ago...lol. We each have our own hobbies, yet we do a lot of things together. One thing that we started doing back in 2004 (the year I left the paid work force) is that I stop whatever I am doing when he comes home for work. We sit and spend time together catching up on each other's day...some days might be 5 min and some days might be 1 hour or longer. This lets us reconnect and focus on each other. We do enjoy each other so much.
    Linda

  15. #15
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    Yep - I got a keeper down here, too! We met on a blind date in 1989, he asked me to marry him one month later and we got married 4 months after that! We celebrate our 23rd anniversary on April 8th!

    As far as "enabling" my quilting habit, I would emphatically say "YES" to that: he has always been supportive of my quilting. We broke ground two days ago on an addition to our house that will be my new sewing area so that I won't have to go up and down the stairs anymore in order to get to my current sewing room.

    I definitely consider myself to be blessed beyond belief!!

  16. #16
    Power Poster Jingle's Avatar
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    We have worked together for half our marriage. I drive us to and from work, five days a week. I sew after work in my sewing room and he watches TV/sleeps in the living room. Works out really good for us. I buy what I want and he does too. After over 51 years, it all works out good.
    Another Phyllis
    This life is the only one you get - enjoy it before you lose it.

  17. #17
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    My DH of 36 years is very supportive of this quilting thing! He knew from the get-go that I sewed and a girl needs fabric to do that.

  18. #18
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    You are sooooo lucky. My husband refused to turn our back porch into a sewing room for me after we received the estimates but he didn't hesitate to buy another old car he is now working on (we have 2 others!) He wants me to take over one of the upstairs bedrooms but with our 5 dogs that want to go in and out and follow me everywhere, I would be so frustrated I would never go up to sew. So, I took over the dining room that is by the french doors that open into the dogs yard. Other than all that, he really doesn't care what I buy, but he does say my work is always beautiful.

  19. #19
    Super Member SewExtremeSeams's Avatar
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    DH and I have only had 9 short years together but they have been the best years of my life. He is very supportive of my quilting/fabric stash, etc. It used to be that when we were about to travel he would ask if I had looked up the quilt shops. A few years ago he took up working with segmented wood bowls after he built us lots of pieces of furniture. So, now I do the research for specialty wood shops and quilt stores along our route. DH is the one who has offered to turn our master bedroom into a quilt studio. When I turned that down he suggested our dining room. Sewww, that is where I am now but I am about to move one of my machines and an ironing board into our living room (unless we have guests) so we can be together in the evenings. We do thoroughly enjoy each others company.

    Linda

    Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, was blind, but now I see.
    [John Newton (1725-1807)]

    http://sewextremeseams.blogspot.com/

  20. #20
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    My DH suddenly changed the day we retired! I have my sewing machine behind the couch he sits on,and by George! If he didn't tell me to upgrade so the machine will be quieter! I did;got the Janome 8900, and he says it's an improvement. We are taking our trailer on a trip and have has made a lot of suggestions about which projects I should take along! All of a sudden,he's got opinions about color,design,quality of work etc. I draw the line when it comes to taking a photo of everything in my stash, and recording,filing,etc. I told him he would really like to unsew seams..it's so relaxing! Also,he now says I have to clean up my quilting language...that may be going too far!
    Life may not be the party we planned for,but while we are here we should dance!

  21. #21
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retired Fire Chief View Post
    My husband refused to turn our back porch into a sewing room for me after we received the estimates but he didn't hesitate to buy another old car he is now working on (we have 2 others!)

    Do what I did. When DH was on a trip I converted the den to my sewing area. When he came home the carpet was ripped out and a closet was being built. I had told him I wanted to do this but he dismissed it and said it wasn't a good idea and then went to his ac/heated work shop addition to the garage. I guess he thought I would agree with his decision. I did yield to not have a wall torn down when he said it may lower the resell value. He was happy I agreed to keeping the wall that he didn't care about losing the den that no one used but the kids anyway. The kids didn't get a say so in the matter.
    Got fabric?

  22. #22
    Senior Member Letty's Avatar
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    What a lovely man,I would say that if he wants to be near to you then let him.I have been married for 53 years and we can be happy near together, don't have to speak, just a smile now and then -- or a quick cuddle---- no borrowing my scissors though !!!

  23. #23
    Super Member IBQUILTIN's Avatar
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    Sounds like a keeper to me. Cherish every minute of it, they can be gone in a heartbeat

  24. #24
    Junior Member Quilts rock's Avatar
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    My husband is a really good guy and has been known to wander around quilt shops with me and carry my stuff, but I did catch him sitting beside my quilt in progress eating a sandwich!!!! AAAGGGH!!!!!

  25. #25
    Super Member knlsmith's Avatar
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    My hubby goes with me everywhere. Paducah, Des Moines, Madison, local shows. He loves getting close and looking at the quilting, especially hand quilting since he never sees that, I machine quilt only. LOL
    He helps me make design decisions, will stand in line forever holding as many as 11 bolts of fabric at once and chit chats with all the ladies (who think he is just "so cute"). He does all this with his salt and pepper beard and camo clothes. I even quit my job last fall to work from home quilting for others. He has supported my decision 110%. And when I feel like I may have made a mistake, he reminds me how much happier I am and how there is only the stress I make for myself.

    I love my hubby to the end of the world and back.
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