I agree. If you attempt to finish this quilt, you could be blamed for anything wrong with it. (I watch a lot of "People's Court")

Daisyboo, I HATE confrontations too, even if I know I am totally right. I feel your pain. Keep us updated.

I want to say also that as time goes on, you have to learn to pick your battles. Sometimes you do have to help out anyway you can. But yours is a case where you shouldnt give in. The fact that you asked us what we thought means you have some trepidation. She did sell it unfinished without your knowledge....

I wouldn't do it even for a very good friend. "Good" friends don't take advantage that way. You, as the quilter, have a right to say you won't do the quilt without compensation, and look up the charges for longarming. Most longarmers would charge for clipping the threads, etc. I know one that charges for 1 needle per quilt, and if a lot of detail and large quilt she'll charge for 2 or 3!!!! Don't let this happen...YOU'LL never be happy.

oh my, this is a pickle ~ she may think its great ~ so I think it needs pointed out that it needs fixing. By her. And I do hope that you can be compensated for your stash contribution. I hate to see people taken advantage of, but you have to stand up for yourself on this one.

I think she owes you half of what she sold it for....at least. Since 90 percent of the fabric was yours and you also have to provide the backing and batting plus do all the quilting/thread and you did a lot of the cutting, this quilt is more yours than hers. Tell her what she needs to do in order to make sure it is in the right condition to be able to quilt it. If I were you, I would even tell her how much fabric SHE needs to buy for the backing and also the batting.

Tell her you unfortunately can not quilt it for her and give her the phone number of a long arm quilter. Maybe it is time for you to stop enabling her. It doesn't sound like you are too happy with the relationship. When I started quilting I let people use and take a lot of my stuff. I have learned and am still learning to set parameters. It is wonderful to help some one but when they start using you there is something wrong.

Return the quilt. Let her know all the problems with why you cant quilt it and Make sure to tell her the time already invested in "her" quilt and don't forget to keep a portion of the deposit for reimbursement Of the fabric she shopped for in your stash.

Good grief....some people are just unbelievable. You've got some great advice here....stay strong, be firm and don't be railroaded into anything you don't want to do. Above all be kind to yourself.

Tough but so agree. Really well put.
I'd far rather know you than her!!!!!!!

This is what I would do. If you were going to send it to a long arm to be quilted I would also tell her it needs to go to a long arm and have her send it there. No need for you to be the middleman in the transaction, especially if she is selling the quilt. If she is in the business of quilt making now she needs to do the work not you. You offered to assist, well here is your assistance, she needs to do a lot more work and then send it to the long arm quilter. Good luck.

Yep return it and tell her why.

she's no friend......she is a user. You don't need her in your life........return the quilt.

Well said!

In agreement to many of the suggestions all I can add is"JUST SAY NO"

I totally agree with Paper Princess.

I don't understand this part....why are you buying the backing and batting?????

The way I see it, that quilt is 90% yours (stash fabrics, batting, backing and quilting - viola a quilt)

I would consider the fabric she used that was from your stash as a "learning loss". I would return the quilt to her with her deposit and tell her exactly why you cannot and will not quilt it and consider that you got out fairly cheaply from a nasty situation. I doubt that she will be a bother any more and your mind will be at rest, knowing you were taken, but only by a little and that the situation is at an end for you. Peace of mind is invaluable.

I agree with you! Edie

I agree. Some friend. You are way too generous.

Ditto. With all of the above, quilting is fun and rewarding. This situation does NOT fit the Criteria!

I agree with all the above..Just call her and tell her you are afraid you'll ruin it if you try it on your machine due to it's condition. And since she has sold it to someone you don't want to take the responsibility and give her information re: finishing or places that do it.

since you are "teaching" her, teach her how to iron it and cut all the threads, she should appreciate the learning exp.

First I would NOT consider her as a "friend" I would give it back and just say you cant do it. Sounds like the small amount of money you would be getting in the end isnt worth all the work and frustration....

I also think you made a good decision.

Give it back. It sounds as though this situation can only get worse. I would point out all of the places where the quilt doesn't meet and suggest that no one will buy a quilt in this condition. She'll be huffy and puffy and you'll feel the weight flying off your shoulders. Give it back.

I would explain that I wouldn't be true to myself if I quilted it in the condition that it is in. That should do it!

Chutzpah of the first order!
I agree with Murphy and Merry. Either would be what I'd do; and I actually lean more to recommending a LAQ to her.

If you have trouble talking to her or getting her to listen, write a note and pin it to the quilt. Be gentle but firm when you give it back to her and tell her it is not ready for quilting. If she gets mad, maybe she will take it to someone else. :-)

I agree with this suggestion.

"I can't. There are too many things happening right now." End of conversation.

I agree. If she's truly interested in learning all about quilting, then the clipping of threads and pressing the seams is all part of that process. If you do that work for her, she'll never learn. When you give her the final bill, you should include the cost of the fabric from your stash.

It isn't your job to "clean up her mess." I agree with the others on the board. She needs to get it quilted somewhere else, if she can. I'm sure you can find MUCH better uses for your time than this. I don't think you'll lose much if you do lose this "friend". Remember you have friends here if you need us!

I think the contract is a good idea - I definitely don't think you should be expected to do all the work with none of the profit. I would spell out exactly what everything will be and have her sign-off on what she is agreeing too - Good luck -

If your friend had a genuine interest in quilting or in learning together with you, I would encourage you to finish it with her. However, it sounds like she is just trying to make a quick buck off of your fabric and time and that is just plain unacceptable. It sounds like her listening ears are broken so I would do as Merry suggested and send her to a long arm quilter. Wash your hands of the problem and be too busy to help her when she wants to do anything quilting related in the future.

If she is selling it then let her finish it just the way it is. We all had to learn how to quilt. She is just using you and is that really being a friend? Maybe tell her in kind words that you can't do it for her as she is exspecting to much of you.

You are smart for returning it to her, and you are smart for taking care of yourself !

I agree with everyone on the board with the suggestion that the quilt must be returned to the 'maker' to finish and sent to someone else to quilt. However, I have to disagree with those who suggest that the 'maker' owes for fabric used out of her stash. There was no agreement for the 'maker' to reimburse her for this fabric despite the obvious moral obligation. Clearly, the 'maker' of this quilt is oblivious to this sort of proper behavior as demonstrated by her ongoing acts. Any discussion about paying for the stash fabric should have been undertaken 2 years ago when the quilt was being cut.

I have been in a situation like that and returned the product, telling the person, I don't have time right now.

Some people do take advantage of a friendship just to get the benefits. With a friend like that, who needs enemies?

Carol J.

I totally agree with this statement.

I would definitly return it to her and tell her that she has not finished working the quilt. To be a quilter, she needs to clean it up and press. Tell her, that you think that it's great that she wants to become a quilter, but, there are many steps in becoming one. That she needs to clean it up, and press the seams before even thinking of quilting it. That you your quite busy right now, but, you can direct her to someone who may be able to do the quilting for her.
She certainly does not sound like a friend, has she called you, gone out anywhere at all with you in the last 2 yrs?
I would just chaulk her off your list of friends, as someone else said "with friends like that, who needs enemies"

I agree with both.