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You are completely daffy if you continue with this quilt because she will never stop asking you for more and more and more favors. I would ask her, however, what your cut of the $400 is since you supplied most of the fabric and are now doing the quilting. You need to be addressing your concerns TO HER in a very clear. Don't even consider renting any kind of equipment to finish it. Don't incur one more cent of expense on her behalf. Print your original comments and all of the response and show them to her. If she never speaks to you again, call it a blessing.
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I'm in great sympathy with your situation. But there's another step you can take other than "talking" to her. Give her a printed up copy of Instructions, such as the one I'm copy/pasting for you here. These are a professional long-arm quilter's Instructions to potential clients on how their quilt top must be prepared before they send it.
The three layers of your quilt will be loaded on the machine independently of one another. Please do not pin or baste them together. The batting and backing should measure at least eight inches longer and eight inches wider than your quilt top. For example, if your quilt measures 60" x 80", the batting and backing should measure at least 68" x 88". Quilt Top Press seams well. Be sure the top lies flat. Ripples and "puffy" places will not necessarily quilt flat. The top should be free of embellishments such as buttons and beads. Clip all loose threads and be sure the seams have been pressed. A row of stay stitching, applied ¼ inch or less from the edge of the quilt, will prevent stretching. If your quilt has a definite "head," and you think I might not recognize it, please apply a piece of masking tape to identify it. Batting If you send batting, please check the package to be sure it is suitable for machine quilting. Backing Please trim off the selvage edges before seaming your backing. Sides should be straight, and the backing squared. You will find other information from other professionals. Combine, or give her as much as you think necessary. In writing! So she can educate herself on what must be done. Then, make yourself conveniently unavailable to her. Nicely. She is your student, so educate her well. Good luck. |
I think you should give it back & be honest with her about your fabric investment, the issues with how it was pieced, etc. & the fact you aren't going to finish it for her. Your integrity is worth more than her ?? friendship?? & if its not a quilt you would be honored to add your name to, don't do it. Chalk the fabric & friendship loss up to a life experience & move on - don't dwell on it & beat yourself up. Life is too short to let someone live "rent free in your brain".
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Return it to her and tell her what needs to be done to make it quilting ready. Don't spend one thin dime on it your self and perhaps give her a bill for at least half of the 400 because the fabric was yours in the first place.
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The hardest thing for any of us is confrontation. Definately let someone else quilt it and I don't think you should rent the machine! Youe 'friend' really has no idea of the time and effort that goes into quilting. Honesty is the best way to go.
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Originally Posted by Anna.425
Return it to her and tell her what needs to be done to make it quilting ready. Don't spend one thin dime on it your self and perhaps give her a bill for at least half of the 400 because the fabric was yours in the first place.
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Originally Posted by BluegrassGurl
Originally Posted by franie
Return it and say you are not comfortable with it. She can take it somewhere else and have it quilted. I returned one for that reason. It's best to be honest and up front. If she is so shallow as to toss you as a friend, I doubt you will lose much.
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Originally Posted by BluegrassGurl
Originally Posted by franie
Return it and say you are not comfortable with it. She can take it somewhere else and have it quilted. I returned one for that reason. It's best to be honest and up front. If she is so shallow as to toss you as a friend, I doubt you will lose much.
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I would call her. I would tell her to come over. I would show her what is wrong, tell her to take it home and make it right, then bring it back. I would also inform her that there will be a charge if she wants anything else quilted, and make it a chunk. Girl... she is going to use you up if you dont nip it in the bud. I have been there and done that too many times!
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Originally Posted by daisyboo9
Thank you so much everyone for the strength you are all sending me....I have decided to return the quilt to her and tell her that it is not in quiltable condition. As far as the stash goes, I offered that freely and only mentioned it because in my mind I have given far more than I have expected to receive, and it surprises me that people can take and still expect more. I did agree to help quilt it 2 years ago, but as someone has mentioned, I have learned alot in those 2 years, and it cannot be quilted the way it is, by machine or by hand. She had no problem splitting the $400 with me, but; she did say are we going to have anything left to split after I buy the backing, batting, and rental of machine. The cost is coming out of my pocket first however because she is on disability and cannot afford it. I insisted that she got a deposit to cover these costs before I spent the money. It however does not cover the problems that she has left me to deal with, and I am very concerned about the possible issues that I will have quilting it, and the expectations of the person buying it will be. I will be returning it to her this weekend, putting the ball back in her court. I will tell her that I will reassess it after she has fixed the problems that I can see. The person that is buying it may back out if she has to wait too long, but then that will be her problem not mine and I haven't had to spend any more money. I don't think I can be any fairer than that!
When you take it back to her, why don't you offer to go with her to the LQS and ask their opinion on quilting it and a price that they would feel is appropriate. |
This is a 'friend'? I don't think so......
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Apart from any thing else.... I would be annoyed that she had sold the quilt after using my stash to create it!!!!
Give her back the quilt and gently but firmly tell her that you cannot quilt it in the condition that it is in..... but please do remind her that she is completely at liberty to quilt it HERSELF! Hugs and good luck |
Others have said well what I would say too. Do not be a door mat for this person.
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Originally Posted by Scissor Queen
Are you out of your mind? You put 90% of the fabric in, did the cutting, you have to BUY the backing and batting and pay for the quilting and SHE'S going to get the $400????
Seriously??? |
The thing that would bother me the most is that your name goes on that quilt as one of the people making it. Gosh, what an awful situation. I've had "friends" and a few family members who behave that way. It stinks.
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www.quilterspantry.com has a very intimidating list of requirements before they will accept your quilt!! I was totally impressed with them. They charge xtra for xtra seams! I think you should print off a copy of that list of requirements and give it to her with the quilt!
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Oh, boy! I feel your stress! Since she wants it "yesterday", I would gently tell her that you are not able to quilt it for her. That you do not believe that you want to be responsible for the quilting now that it has been sold. It is too stressful and it would be best for HER to get it quilted by someone who knows more about it. Stick to your guns and put it right back into her hands and let her stress about it. Doesn't have the money? Then she will have to wait as the rest of us do when we can't afford a long arm professional quilter.
These types of things really get under my crawl. In fact, I believe she should share to profits with you! I feel better now. Good luck! By the way, this is not being confrontational. It is being honest and caring about HER quilt!!! |
Call and have her pick it up. Tell her what to do so you can finish it. IF she doesn't let her find someone to do thef inishing work
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She used your matreial, you are doing the quilting and SHE is selling it for $400!NOT!
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I have to agree with the suggestion to return it to her and tell her to contact someone else to finish it. I would not put my name/reputation on something like that. JMHO and I hope it helps.
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WOW...I would kindly return it and tell her it is too large for you to do on your machine...I would also give her some names of longarm quilters and suggest that she have it done there...I also agree that she is not much of a friend....
You should not feel obligated to quilt it since she is selling it...and if the customer does not like it, it may come back to bite you...I am sure the friend would think it was your fault... |
Originally Posted by patty48
Originally Posted by Snorky Lvs2Quilt
I think she owes you half of what she sold it for....at least. Since 90 percent of the fabric was yours and you also have to provide the backing and batting plus do all the quilting/thread and you did a lot of the cutting, this quilt is more yours than hers. Tell her what she needs to do in order to make sure it is in the right condition to be able to quilt it. If I were you, I would even tell her how much fabric SHE needs to buy for the backing and also the batting.
The way I see it, that quilt is 90% yours (stash fabrics, batting, backing and quilting - viola a quilt) |
Return the quilt nicely explaining why..this is NOT a FRIEND.. like you said, this is an acquaintance. Friends do not do one another like that....
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Yes, quite a predictament. Gently tell her you just do not have the time to quilt it and perhaps tell her where to go. Errr. I mean the name of people who quilt.
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I agree, give it back to her, tell her you can't quilt this quilt in this condition, that this is also a reflection on you as well. If she is a friend she will understand if not, you don't need her as a friend.
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Wow...I sure feel for you. You need to tell her outright that she should have pressed each seam as she went & that there are places that don't line up and it could cause damage during the quilting process. I wonder if the person that has bought this quilt has actually seen the top? Your longarm place just might not let you rent the machine if they see the top.
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Originally Posted by Murphy
Return it to the person who gave it to you and explain what she needs to complete before it can be quilted. This is not your problem and she is not learning if you do it for her.
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Count me in agreement, I know there are those (takers) that easily prey on others (givers), been there and done that and when I stood up for myself, felt ever so proud and calm.
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If this was my problem...1st I would call and ask her to come over and show her all the areas that are needing work, and how to solve them. EXPLAIN TO HER why the seams need to be pressed, etc.2nd, I would fix it as best I could and do the quilting, and 3rd. tell her you won't quilt for her again, unless these things are done. Is she ever going to quilt again?
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i did not read all 10 pages post by post, and saw a variety of responses.
You started this w/ her by teaching her how to make the quilt top - the next step is to teach her how to get it ready to quilt - pressing of the seams, cutting the threads, fixing places that don't necessarily meet up correctly. This is part of the process. I understand that you might not want to finish the quilt due to past experience - and you can gracefully get out of it by telling her you don't have the time and that your machine isn't going to handle a quilt that large. Then the recommendations of someone else, or that maybe a higher price due to having to rent time on a long arm. I'm not about being mean to someone, I think there can be a graceful way out of a situation w/out meaness |
I think you have been more than fair with this gal and hope it all turns out well. If she does truly have a buyer for the quilt, it will be half your work as well and I'm sure you want the quilt, and your contribution to it, represented in the best possible condition. We've all gotten ourselves in fixes like this, we just become wiser as we go along.
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That's the way I feel about it. It is better to finish it well since you are doing half the work here....and you started the process. Its amazing the quilt got finished without all the pressing, etc. It could have been frustrating as heck for her. I know pressing helps soooo much. But she needs alot more guidance yet if you care about her at all.
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I am glad to see this topic come up as I have found myself in a situation not quite as bad as daisyboo9. I wish I could just learn to say NO! I am a newbie when it comes to long arm quilting and need lots of practice before I start quilting for others.
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Former doormat, to 'want to be' former doormat...
Just a quick question, who does all YOUR work for you? Take it back and tell her you can't quilt it until it is ready. Once it is in her hands, explain what isn't finished (or, better yet, give her type written list of what is undone). Tell her you did some of it to show her. Smile kindly, and WALK AWAY. You have paid enough for this quilt. Repeat after me, "I am quilter, hear me roar"! {HUGS} |
I would inform her she needs to pay for the fabric and let her do the pressing and trimming and get someone else to quilt it for her.
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With friends like that, you surely don't need any enemies.......I feel sorry for you. You have been a wonderful friend, you just didn't get one in return.
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I would give it back to her and tell her you can't quilt it and she will have to take it some where else. Also I would tell her that as long as I put most of the material into the quilt when she gets paid my charge is?? No one needs an acquaintance/friend like her.
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Originally Posted by Sadiemae
I just don't uderstand people.
Unless she is a really good friend: I would give it back to her and tell her that it cannot be quilted on the rented machines. It has too many issues. Then I would have way to many things that I have to do and simply cannot find the time to quilt it. Let her find a way to get it quilted by someone else. Has she ever mentioned paying you for your fabric stash that she used? I would suggest having her find a long arm quilter to do it for her. (She might just learn something from a "stranger") I had a neighbor who always came to me for little hemming jobs. She always offered to pay for it but I generally refused since it was a small job. When I started feeling like I was the "go to seamstress" I decided that with the next request I would direct her to a cleaners I use whose wife was a sewing instructor in Korea and now did repairs and alterations in her shop. It wasn't long before I had that opportunity and have not regretted a moment of it since. |
Originally Posted by merry
Return the quilt to your "friend" & tell her you can't quilt it with your present machine. Suggest a LQS & let them deal with her.
I may sound "tough" but I find myself in the "doormat" position. People who don't sew think that if a person sews they can whip up things like magic. I have yet another bag full of school uniform pants (hand-me-downs no less) to be cut and hemmed. I told her that I don't have time to alter these pants for her grandson, but she politely said, "I know, but I'll just leave them here for when you do have the time." Uuuffgh!! So---the bag is plopped on the floor under my sewing machine and will be there for quite a while. |
Give it back and tell her to take more quilting classes and do it herself!!!!!!!!
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