I have a friend or shall we say an aquaintence, who really wanted to make a quilt and asked me to help her. I agreed because at the time I was just learning myself. She picked a pattern out of a book she had and we got down to work. Unfortunately she had very little fabric to put towards it and did not want to buy any. I would say 90% of the fabric came from my stash. I cut it all and left it for her to sew, as I was going to do the quilting. This was about 2 years ago. She dropped it off for me to quilt a few weeks ago. She has been calling to push me to get the quilting done, because she says she has sold it to a friend for $400. Don't get me wrong its great that she has sold it, but let me tell you what she left me with. She did not match alot of her seams, she did not press anything, and she has not clipped her threads. It is a total mess. I spent 3 hours on it this morning trying to press it and clip threads and I am not even halfway there. This is a twin size quilt and I do not feel comfortable with quilting this size on my home machine. I can rent a longarm for $50/4hours. I have to still buy batting and backing . The friend has left a deposit of $100, which will pay for the rental and other supplies still needed, but I don't think I should be left cleaning up this mess. It won't matter to her because she is not quilting it, but what I am most worried about is the mess of the seams not being pressed as she went, causing a problem while quilting and maybe even putting a hole in the quilt. I don't know the person that bought it, or what their expectation will be of it when finished. This friend is very opinionated and will not hear me even if I try to tell her gently. I am thinking of telling her that the place where I rent the machine will not let me quilt it in that condition. If only she didn't have to be so difficult, I am not into confrontation, but I also don't feel that it should be my job to clean up her mess. What would you do?

Return it to the person who gave it to you and explain what she needs to complete before it can be quilted. This is not your problem and she is not learning if you do it for her.

Wow, what a crazy predicament!!
Me?? I would only finish it if she split the profit with me.
Sounds like it was really "your" quilt all along :(

There is no rule on this earth that says you have to be a door mat.
Write out your reasons why you can't do this quilt. You have valid ones.
Then phone your "friend" and read your script verbatim. Do not waver. If she gets upset - tough. That is her problem.
You obviously aren't close to this person or she would already know your opinion.
Just tell her. You cannot accept the top in the condition it was given, and she has the choice to either take it apart and fix it, or have someone else quilt it. Period.
My guess is she'll take it somewhere else.
The lose her phone number. She is not a real friend.

Return the quilt to your "friend" & tell her you can't quilt it with your present machine. Suggest a LQS & let them deal with her.

Return the quilt to your "friend" & tell her you can't quilt it with your present machine. Suggest a LQS & let them deal with her.

Why don't you write out a sort of contract describing the quilts discrepencies and flaws? You could state in there the possibilities that could happen when quilting and that there would be no guarantees. Then have her sign it. That way you would at least have a leg to stand on. Also that you should be paid for whatever you think is right. You haven't started quilting it yet so that should be fair.

I would politely tell her that there is another class you have to show her. Explain the quilt is not done, you have this much fabric in it & you would like to split the profit. Since you seem to be doing all the work. I hate it when people take advantage of me because I don't speak up. But like I say to others, there's a way of telling them, it doesn't have to be rude or bossy. Good luck with the end results.

I think you should be upfront and tell her that you are investing way too much time and money in "her project" because I think that perhaps you are feeling a bit used. People don't know the boundaries until we tell them.

I just don't uderstand people.
Unless she is a really good friend: I would give it back to her and tell her that it cannot be quilted on the rented machines. It has too many issues. Then I would have way to many things that I have to do and simply cannot find the time to quilt it. Let her find a way to get it quilted by someone else.

I would tell her that after 2 years you've learned a lot and "This is a twin size quilt and I do not feel comfortable with quilting this size on my home machine", then give her the name of a long arm quilter in your area. She (he) can let her know if it's not quiltable, and she will also get an idea of the real cost of quilting.

I would give it back to her and tell her you are not able to do it and why. Risk is loosing her friendship, but she doesn't sound like much of a friend anyway. Also, if anything goes wrong or if it's not up to expectations of the buyer she may lay it on you.

Return it and say you are not comfortable with it. She can take it somewhere else and have it quilted. I returned one for that reason. It's best to be honest and up front. If she is so shallow as to toss you as a friend, I doubt you will lose much.

I agree completely because it doesn't sound like you can ever win at this.

Completely agree with Franie!

oh my

I would return it to her and explain that it is now 2 years later and you just can't quilt it for her. I wouldn't go into any lengthy discussion about it, but that you simply do not have the time.

Give her the name(s) of a LA quilter(s). I think you have done enough for her...90% from your stash, and cut for her!!!

If she wants/wanted to learn to make a quilt....tell her quilting is part of the process, give her the name of the place that rents time on the longarm and let her finish it herself.

Are you out of your mind? You put 90% of the fabric in, did the cutting, you have to BUY the backing and batting and pay for the quilting and SHE'S going to get the $400????

Seriously???

I agree with Murphy, give it back to your "friend" and tell her what needs to be done before it can be quilted. It's her problem not yours, and don't let yourself be bullied into doing it for her. She's using you, in my opinion.

who on earth would pay four hundred dollars for a twin quilt that the seams don't line up??? or for that matter one that is perfect...

I had that thought too........ and with all the problems it's hard to believe someone already offered her that much.
I also just thought of the expression "With friends like that....... "

Really, who knows whether someone really offered to pay $400? I have quilted for people who were so kind and just needed help, she does not sound like this kind of person...

Send her an email link to this page - she doesn't have to join to read it - then pack up the top and send/mail it back to her with the suggestion she take it to a LQS. Let them deal with her.

By the way, do you know the person she has sold it to? That person is being ripped off paying $400 for a quilt in this condition! If you speak up, you will be sparing 2 of you the "gall" (or 'balls' (?!)) of this acquaintance. She certainly had you pegged (non-confrontational) when she managed this one!

I hope you will find the strength to stand up for yourself in this case. The "loss" of this kind of "friendship" is no loss indeed!

Jan in VA

Did you agree to quilt it for her? If not, just tell her that you will not be able to do it. Period. If there are other LA quilters in the area tell here how to get in touch with some and let it go at that. Chock your lost time, fabric, etc up to experience. The 'friend' needs her own experiences and then she might value what you've already done for her. Three deep breaths and make the call right away so she won't be able to say you didn't give her enough time to get it done elsewhere!
Believe me, you'll feel lots better when you do! Life it too short to agonize over this!

Thank you every one for your opinion, it has reinforced how I feel. Let me clear up a few things that I may have left out. First of all, she is willing to split the $400 with me and out of this I will be reimbursed the cost to rent the machine (which she knows about)and the cost for the batting, backing and thread. We haven't even discussed the cost of gas as the rental is about an hours drive from my home. After these costs are looked after we split the remainder 50/50. I will return it to her and tell her that I cannot quilt it in that condition. I would rather go without the "profit" than to have to deal with all the possible problems.

Way to go!

Oh okay. But you're still getting the "dirty" end of the stick.

Send it back to her!! ASAP!

It still seems like you should have been reimbursed for the fabric from your stash.
I am glad you are going to have her fix the problems.

I think you have made a good decision. This sounds like a problem that no one needs.

I agree with you :D

I agree....just return it and say you cannot work on it. Some people are "givers" (you) and some people are "takers" (her). After you return the top to her, loose her phone number! I had a similar experience with a "friend" who used my talents too much. When she aproached me for another project, I said yes, I'll do that...and then quoted her an outrageous sum. Weird, she accepted! And, she paid me!
good luck.

Exactly!

At the very least I would return the quilt and say all the things wrong with it which need to be put right in order for it to be quilted properly. Tell her it will not quilt up like it is that way! Tell her your reputation as a quilter is at stake! Not only that, if I was in your place I would feel totally used, and I am sure that none of my friends would treat me that way in the first place! In the future I would decline any further collaboration quilt making sessions with her as I feel she has taken you for a ride.
Best of luck with everything
Gal

I totally agree with what Murphy said, and I would also let her know that the shop will then quilt it for her.

I wouldn't quilt it, she is taking advantage of you!

What if the shoe was on the other foot? I think this person would be hollering loud and clear about how nuts you would be for thinking she could fix your mess up. Tell her you tried to be nice and you tried to fix the many problems the quilt has but it's a no go for you. Hand her the quilt and say nothing else. I would be glad to have her be out of my life for good. Being confrontational when necessary is cleansing, try it.

I too agree. You already put too much of your time and your stash in the quilt. If she wants the 400 bucks than she needs to finish it on her own. Give her the name of the LQS staff and number and kindly bow out.

I agree, run to return it and say you are unable to quilt it. Rather cheeky to have you do what you have done and then sell the quilt. Tell her you didn't expect to quilt it as well and there are many who can do that. Get out from under this situation anyway you can.

I agree with everyone else. Return the quilt with comments on what needs to be done to correct the flaws before it can even be quilted. Give her the name of a professional quilter who can then do the quilting. I suspect she will not be happy with the results in any case, since the quilt is a bit "handicapped". Good luck!

I have been in situations like this. Not quilting per se, but more or less being taken advantage of with sewing, cooking, finances, work, etc. etc. It starts when we agree to help out, then get more involved than we thought we would, or want to. Next thing you know, it costs us money, time, and tension. If you have a great friendship, when you take it back to her and explain that the long arm quilter cannot take on an incomplete project, and you do not have the sources to finish it yourself, then the friendship stands. If she gets irritated and there are words exchanged that do not sit well with you, for whatever reason, then the friendship may need some mending. I would work with her on it, but I would never take on this alone. You have already been very generous. You both deserve honesty and integrity. The new quilt owner deserves nothing less than what she should be expecting for the money she is paying. How much of the $400 is she sharing with you?