That's kind of a good idea. Make something smaller to see how well it is received then you can decide whether to make them something bigger more time consuming and more costly or not. (hope that makes sense)

give my quilts to people I LIKE. It is my way of saying, "Here, I like you so you have the great honour of one of quilts being in your life. Cherish it or chuck it, it is yours and I am happy to have made it for you."
Now having said that DH keeps asking me to make a quilt for his daughter. She is thirty, has a great job and lives in another province and has never in the 6 years I have known him, sent him a birthday card, Father's Day card, Christmas card and of course never a gift either... so let me tell you I don't LIKE the selfish little %&!@* (rhymes with witch). She's on my list but I am hoping he forgets he has ever mentioned it!

Do it for him... I, too, have stepdaughters - one of which has lied to others about me, the other (when younger) wouldn't even come to the car one Christmas (let alone our house) to give her father a gift because I was in the car. I continued doing things for them as long as my husband asked me to - they now share in our supper EVERY Monday night - - -it has turned out so well... lots of heart ache in the mean time, but now it's been worth it - forgive her for his sake... oh - and I just made each of them a quilt - at my own 'request'!!! :)

Yep, it's very disheartening to have your quilt so under-appreciated. Her second child got a card, nothing more.

You said it. :thumbup:

Yep, happened to me too. Made a Queen size quilt for my SIL in AZ. Used the colors that she asked for. She never put in on the bed, stored it for about a year and after they had their whole house re-painted, she said that she would return it as they weren't her colors. I was really hurt. I should have kept it myself after that, but when I got it back, the Fine Arts Dept. at school was having a fund raiser auction, so I donated it to go with a Bed and Breakfast package. It was so funny that the one that bought the package was the owner of a LQS. She said, "I thought I had seen that before." (she was the Pres. of our quilt guild when I showed it in the Quilt Show) I just love making them for the enjoyment of it and giving them away. Someday I will make one and give it to ME! :)

Yep. I have had that happen twice. One was a comfort quilt for a friend who lost her husband...one verbal "oh" and never another word about it. The other time it was for a co-worker who had a baby. I taught her second grade daughter, so the lable said "made for ___ to hold her baby sister ___" The 2nd grader was speechless when I gave it to her, then she cried, and came to my room to thank me again at least three times during th day. Her mom never said a word. I was bamboozled by the adult's lack of appreciation, but my student's reaction was priceless.

Make sure you put a label on the back of every quilt and they'll know it was hand made by you.

I haven't done a search yet. And I probably should but can someone explain the label for the quilt?
I have made 6 blue jean quilts and an attic window and didn't put a label on any of them.
I have read where a quilt isn't complete until a label is on it. I got them done and figured if I tried to do any thing else to them I'd mess them up for sure...

Yes I agree! I don't expect a gushing response. And I give because I want to give. I have made this SIL many many things since. Everyone tells me I shouldn't, but I don't feel the same way as them. Yes, God has blessed us!

People who don't do creative things with their own hands usually have no idea how much work, how many thoughts and how much love is in something handcrafted :cry:
if they need a gift they go in a shop and buy something expensive and maybe ugly and useless.
What I learned I never give something handcrafted to this people. But as always there are exceptions...and for those people it is a joy to give e.g. a quilt.

Mine have gone to family, so far I think they are used and loved. I saw my son wrapped up in his this morning (he's 23) It warmed my heart. Even though I was scratching my head because he went to bed hot and looking for a fan last night..lol (a blue jean quilt at that) That moment made it worth it!

I suppose some ppl have trouble with expressing their thanks! or are just "jealous" of something another can do that they cannot or have not tried themselves. It is always a pleasure to have the receiver of a gift to make notice and show appreciation (even if they are not overly excited of the gift) That is Called Manners!!!

Although.... I did make one for a ex and he never seemed to notice it when it fell off his bed I generally ended up sleeping under it instead of him. But... It happens... quote]

Am I the only one ROFLMBO over this comment? Not meaning to be mean or rude, but the way that last reads, no wonder he is your ex..

I'm sorry if that offended, I need my meds and to go to bed, please forgive. Hugs and smilesssssss. Linda

I know about the hurt of gifts being rejected...Now, if I want to do something "special" for someone, I will ask them specifically what they want. If it's a quilt, I chose 6 - 12 patterns that I know that I can do and have them chose a pattern and what colors they want. I then make that for them...is a surprise? NO... is it well received... Yes. Do I expect a written thank you... not if they thanked me in person.... If I don't receive an acknowledgement, I ask did you get it and did you like it? I'm not shy

Wow... I just read that..... yeahhhh I didn't quite mean it that way :) No offense taken. LOL

it is sad that some people dony understand how much work goes into makeing a quilt . i made one for a older lady that was complaining about the old winters where she lives so i made her a small quilt to cover up with while watching tv she did write to me thank me for the beautiful quilt and then went on to tell me how her dogs love to cuddle up with it , and how they have taken it over!!

I once made a quilt as a wedding gift and asked the mother of the bride to give it to her rather than send it in the mail, as I was unable to make the wedding. I never heard boo from the bride, not even an acknowledgement of receiving it. I sometimes wonder if the mother even gave it to her. Since then I rarely give quilts unless someone has expressed a real interest in one.

I made a quilt for my best friends husband. I took old photos of him and his brothers, made the fabric photos, copied and made a quilt out of them. It was a gift from his wife and he thanked her but not me. I wasn't expecting a big thank you but a small "thanks" would of been nice. My bff has since died and I'm sure the new wife made him get rid of it, along with everything else in the house.

Two years ago I came home from AQS with 7 baby quilts to make. I spent the next 2 months working on them. All were finished and mailed by the end of June. I recieved a thank you note from the babies Grandmother with an explanation that the babies mother wasn't raised like "we were" and she didn't know to say thank you. Of the 7 quilts I recieved 3 replys that the quilts were recieved. Thats when I swore off baby quilts except for very close friends. I'm still making baby quilts, but they will be saved for my future grandkids.

This has happened to me as well, not with a quilt but with a needlepoint wedding sampler. It took me two months of constant work and then, did not even get a "gee that's nice". This from my niece of all people! So now when I think about gifts I really know who cherishes "handmade" things.

My girlfriend came to pick me up for lunch for my birthday, and she had this huge package all gift wrapped. I almost fell over when I unwrapped her beautiful green, white and pink quilt she made for our new home. The best gift we've ever received.

Carol M

Unfortunately, not everyone appreciates quilts OR are uncomfortable letting you know how much they appreciate the quilt. I'm very selective with whom I will give a quilt to for that reason - my hubby, children and grandchildren. I did make gorgeous throws for each of my inlaws and I know they liked them but later learned they were used to cover up the furniture in their FL home while they are in the north for the summer. After that, it's immediate family only as I know they love and treasure my quilts.

I'm positive that your quilt is loved and treasured and that perhaps the recipient honestly doesn't know how to show it adequately. That is often the case. It's also possible that they have no clue the amount of time, effort and love that went into the creation of your lovely quilt. You made it out of love and generosity so please feel good about that. Assume the quilt is loved, treasured, and honored and don't dwell on it. Some people honestly can't and don't make a fuss over gifts as they are uncomfortable doing so. My inlaws are very conservative that way but due their being so conservative with their appreciation, I don't want to make anything for them. My kids, on the other hand, make a big deal over my quilts and I know beyond a doubt they are loved, treasured and wear out but they are used and they tell me that every time they wrap up in one of my quilts, they feel my love and that's how it should be.

Exactly and well stated. Some people also just don't know how to show how pleased they are and some are even embarrassed over being given such lovely gifts.

This same subject is always discussed regarding cross stitch, which I used to do a lot of! Personalized samplers made with the couples name and wedding date. Framing those can cost lots of money too, hundreds for larger pieces. I know today's world is a lot of matchy-matchy, then toss it all when the theme is changed.

I also read a comment once about those who lived thru the depression always had handmade, so store-bought was a huge, special thing! Everyone is different. It just makes me try to me more expressive in my response when I receive something.

My daughter's quilts get very HARD use and ABUSE but they are used, loved and treasured. Her family (hubby & 4 children) use my quilts exclusively but they are still beautiful though beginning to show the wear after 20 + years and last summer I had to mend a couple for her but mending 3 over the years of such hard use is also quite a testament to my workmanship. My quilts are tents, drug around the house by the 4 children, used in tug of wars, etc and it's amazing how beautiful they still are today. 2 of her quilts are now showing signs of fabric rotting and it was heartbreaking to see her reaction when I tried to mend them last summer. When you hold the quilt to stitch and the finger goes through the fabric, it's about had it but i did repair it best I could and told her use and enjoy them until they fall apart. I also took very detailed photos and may see about rebuilding them or doing better ones as I'm a much better quilter than years ago. It was fascinating to see how my style and technique has evolved over the years.

My daughter in law loves and treasures my quilts so much that they are rarely used. She truly does love and treasure them and doesn't want them to wear out. Bless her heart. She and my daughter actually had quite a heated argument one day over who loves and treasures my quilts more and I had to intervene between these two best friends. It's wonderful that she treasures my quilts but my daughters children are growing up wrapped in grammy's love every single day while her children see the "don't touch quilts as we have to keep them pretty because Grammy put so much hard work into them." It's a tough call, you know. My daughter's family's quilts will wear out and my son's children will have their quilts looking like new. I have very mixed feelings about it. I love that she treasures my "heirlooms" so much that she wants to preserve them but the bond I have with my daughter's 4 children is so amazing and I know a huge part of it is the love they feel using my quilts daily. Each grandchild came home from the hospital wrapped in a hand quilted Grammy quilt.

I totally agree with you. I had a very hard time making quilts for my son's children due to my wonderful daughter in law's attitude BUT as I've given each of their 3 children their quilts, the love, joy and bonding that has happened with the presentation of each is something that can't ever be replaced. One day, they will get to have those quilts to enjoy and hopefully they'll remember the love and joy we experienced the day I gave them to them. I will say that although my daughter in law protects those quilts, she does sit with me and talk to them about how much time, work, love, skill, and talent has gone into each quilt. She truly does love, appreciate and admire my quilting skills. I just wish the children would be allowed to enjoy using the quilts more but on the other hand, when they go to college, each will have a quilt to use on their bed in the dorm; when they have their first baby, each will be able to use the baby quilt that was made for them with love for their own babies and that's not a bad thing either. My daughter's childrens quilts may be worn out by that time although they have worn amazingly for so many years now.

You make the quilt with love, you give it with love and although you may never know for sure, I bet those quilts are all very loved and treasured. One thing about it, the quilts given to my son's family will be known by a future generation and that's not a bad thing either.

All the time. But I still give.

my daughters want my quilts and i said o k but you need to help me on the first one . the first said i didn't know how hard this is!!!to me it's not hard but fun (when i'm in the mood to quilt)but i think the experience will make them more grateful

Just my opinion on this, if you make her a quilt, you are doing it out of love for your husband and that's worth a lot! I'd do it, no matter how much you don't want to do it. Do it out of love for your husband and who knows, it could bring rewards beyond your dreams. Seriously. If it doesn't, you've honored your husbands wishes and loved him enough to do it for him and that's huge right there. As you work on it, think of your love for him and pour that love into the quilt - it could come back to both of you with huge rewards. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I didn't want to make for my son's children and my husband pushed me to do so. I'm so glad I did even though I had a rough time doing so and believed they wouldn't be appreciated but they are and I do know that some major bonding took place as each grandchild got their special grammy quilt. Sometimes in life, we just have to do a labor of love for our hubby's that we may not really want to do. Enjoy your quilting and pour all of your love into it that you can and that love may come back and it may not but you will have loved your hubby enough to do it - just my opinion.

I agree totally. I've made a point of making sure that my children and grandchildren have seen me hand quilting on their quilt so they have a bit of a clue as to the amount of time and love that goes into the quilts. It definitely makes them more appreciative of the time, skills, and love you put into their quilts.

...way to go, hazeljane...u hv arrived, girl :!: :!:

ooh, mamagus...what abt your dh's feelings :?: Sounds like he loves her anyway, right :?: Forgive me, I don't mean to sound preachy...after all, what do u expect, I'm 80 :D :D

gingerella, was your daughter giving the quilt back to u? Or just acknowledging it!

Nantucketsue, your quilt is fantastic :!: :!: :!: I'm amazed at the personal thoughts and ideas that went into. You shd be so proud of yourself that u don't care what they feel or don't feel :twisted: :twisted:

I figure it this way, it gives me something to do. They may not appreciate it at first, but after use, they always come around and become very thankful and even talk it up a bit.

Give the ungrateful a chance. They just don't know what they've got...yet.

Sad to say, but I think my absolutely most grateful was my dog (my avatar, now passed away 3/31/10). I was making an afghan (something to do while watching tv), and he claimed it before it was even done. Every time I worked on it, he would cuddle up on the corner. Once done, now matter where it was, he found it and claimed it. On the bed, on the couch, in the spare room...

I don't think that is sad at all! I think it's wonderful that your darling dog loved the afghan. I'm so sorry about your loss. Sometimes are dogs love us more than our *real* children. We lost our brown and white child, Lucy, 6 years ago next month and we still miss her everyday. We have 3 other *children* now who are equally as loving. My german shepard in never more than 3 feet away from me at any given time. The only furniture he ever gets on is the bed. He will not sleep anywhere else if I have gone to bed. Sometimes it gets awfully crowded :lol:

Oh Yeah! I just put it behind me and go on! Sorry for them!

Happens all the time, bummer but they just don't appreciate all that work I guess. I also don't like when you give a quilt and you never see it again in their home.

I've learned over the years not to give a hand made gift to
someone who does not even give me the courtesy of saying
thank you! I do not expect raves over it, but I do expect
a thank you. Remember when we used to write thank you cards
for all the gifts we received (even if we didn't like the
gift?) Oh, the good ole days! LOL

RIGHT ON! One of the hardest things for everyone to learn is to let go! After many years of hurt feelings, I have learned to give a gift and let it go. Makes no difference what happens to it (and I mean anything!). If you give a quilt, you are no longer the owner or have any say in its disposition, regardless of who(m) you give it to....