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Thread: Quilt as a Gift

  1. #1
    sss
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    Has anyone ever given a quilt as a gift to someone and after giving the quilt gift you hardly get a thank you? I just don't think people realize the time, work, thought and worry that you put into each quilt you do, especially when it is for someone you think is going to love it. I just finished a retirement quilt for a friend who I work with. We have worked together for 10 yrs. Her thank you to me was, "Your quilt was a big hit!"
    Any thoughts on this? I know I should not be upset but I am.

  2. #2
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    YES! Just recently happened to me. Made a quilt for a teacher's retirement at our school. No lie ~ I handed it to her and she placed it on her shelf and said "oh! Thank you!" and that was it............

    I don't give quilts (or handmade gifts for that matter) for the recognition, but I have to say that one kinda stung. I didn't expect that from her at all.

    Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

  3. #3
    Power Poster MamaBear61's Avatar
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    This has happened to many of us. Unless the receiver is a quilter or at least a crafter they probably don't get it.

  4. #4
    Super Member Kathy N's Avatar
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    Oh this definitely happens, probably more often than I do get thank you's. It makes my husband madder than me. He wants to say something to them along the lines of "show a little respect". I just let it roll off because it gives me an excuse to make another quilt. The big thank you comes when you check back in with them in a year or two and find out they are using it everyday! I made one for my son's best friend when they graduated H.S. and he just had a baby 12 years later and when I went to take the baby a quilt he was thrilled and showed me his quilt. Says he cuddles up to watch TV every night under it.

  5. #5
    Senior Member luvstoquilt301's Avatar
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    Sadly quite often. BUT, I have decided when that happens--no more gifts for that person. This happened with my Stepdaughter who about lives on the computer. How hard is it to send an email thank you?

  6. #6
    Junior Member gingerella's Avatar
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    It's worse when it's your daughter. I promised myself no more quilts for her - I find them on the floor- being walked on, hanging up to cover the window when the room was being painted, etc.

    But then, last year she asked me for one I was making and I can't refuse. So yes, she has two more. At least I find them (or one of them) on her bed once in a while.

  7. #7
    a regular here hazeljane's Avatar
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    I look at it as the gift was my time and thoughts. And because it is a gift, I can let go when I give it. I made my husband's two grandbabies quilts, and I am just starting to get to know his kids. (His ex-wife has made sure it's not comfortable for ANYONE to be friendly with me) My husband took them when he went to visit at Easter. They were a huge hit with the girls, and his daughter in law thanked him to pass along to me, but that's it. And you know, I'd make them quilts again, because it is not about the thanks I get, it is about the joy I feel in making them and giving them love.

    I understand why people are hurt, but for me, it's part of letting go as I get older.I don't take on other people's rudeness or let it affect my actions. Life is too short to feel that kind of resentment. If my quilts get used, I'm happy.

  8. #8
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Hugs...I would be hurt too. I agree, they probaly dont know how much work you had to put into it!

  9. #9
    sss
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    You are absolutely right but it still hurts.

  10. #10
    Super Member Mamagus's Avatar
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    I give my quilts to people I LIKE. It is my way of saying, "Here, I like you so you have the great honour of one of quilts being in your life. Cherish it or chuck it, it is yours and I am happy to have made it for you."
    Now having said that DH keeps asking me to make a quilt for his daughter. She is thirty, has a great job and lives in another province and has never in the 6 years I have known him, sent him a birthday card, Father's Day card, Christmas card and of course never a gift either... so let me tell you I don't LIKE the selfish little %&!@* (rhymes with witch). She's on my list but I am hoping he forgets he has ever mentioned it!

    I am making a lap quilt for a friend who is retiring from my old school, and I LIKE her. That's enough for me.

  11. #11
    Super Member quiltingfan's Avatar
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    I am pretty picky on whom I give quilts too. My brother or sister in law wont get one because I do not think they are into quilts and it is not there thing. I did give my SIL a quilted table runner for Christmas last year and I have not heard anything from her. So sure wont be making a full size quilt.

  12. #12
    Junior Member gingerella's Avatar
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    At my daughter's house one day a couple months after Christmas I noticed a quilt I had given to her for Christmas was out on the patio table, wadded up waiting to be washed - I guess. I didn't say anything but she said "Oh here's your quilt, Mom" I replied, "No, it's not my quilt, when I give a gift, it's no longer mine."

    As my husband says "you're not married to it, you're married to me" So, I have to mentally divorce myself from it, and so far, it does work. I just remind myself, "I'm not married to it."

  13. #13
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Never with a quilt. One GF was brutally honest when she told me that she didn't like the top I was working on for her and she tried to lay claim to another top. It took me a while to get over the audacity but in the end.....I made her a quilt that she loves.

    I seem to not do too well in the acknowledgement of regular gifts. Pat's nephew never said boo about the wedding present. I wonder if he expected a quilt (which I considered making but I had a feeling we were invited because of gifts.)

  14. #14
    Google Goddess craftybear's Avatar
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    I don't think others realize the time and $ in making a quilt

  15. #15
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    Hey! Make one for me....(a rag quilt) and I'll show you what grateful is!!! :thumbup: :thumbup:

  16. #16
    Super Member bookworm's Avatar
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    Mine are generally well received, thankfully. I have one friend that keeps trying to talk me out of making him a quilt but I think when he gets it he'll love it (its going to be a periodic table and he is a chemistry nut). I'm just really glad that people tend to understand the care that goes into my quilts.

    Although.... I did make one for a ex and he never seemed to notice it when it fell off his bed :( I generally ended up sleeping under it instead of him. But... It happens...

  17. #17
    Moderator Jim's Gem's Avatar
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    Yes, I have given one as a wedding gift and have never received a thank you or even an acknowledgment that it was received (I handed her the gift bag with it in there)

    Also when I sent a pair of quilts to my nieces, I never heard if they had even gotten then. I finally asked my niece about 5 mos later if they liked their quilts and she said that they both did (ages 11 & 9) My brother and SIL never said anything.

  18. #18
    Super Member CAROLJ's Avatar
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    My mother in law gave my gift back to me two years later.

  19. #19
    Super Member JanetM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CAROLJ
    My mother in law gave my gift back to me two years later.
    :shock: :shock: :shock: That is horrible. Several of you say that once you give a gift it belongs to the recipient and if a thank you isn't forthcoming...oh well.

    I must admit that you are more gracious than I would be. I would vow never to make them anything in the future. Nonquilters may not know exactly how much money and time go into a quilt, but they surely know that it didn't make itself and can pretty well guess that a considerable amount of time went into making it. I guess if I'm not so forgiving I will have to be careful to make a quilt only for someone I am sure would be appreciative.

  20. #20
    Junior Member nantucketsue's Avatar
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    Well I made one for my son and DIL for their wedding. I was asked to make a contemporary quilt with an autumn theme. It took me forever as it was all handquilted. My son appreciated the work that went into it but I wonder if they really liked it because it has never been seen since. I am now working on a wedding quilt for my other son and his wife, but I am worried that they will not like it and the same will happen. Here is a (not very good) photo of the first quilt, which granted is more a wall hanging than a bed quilt, but they did want contemporary.

    Forever Amber
    Name:  Attachment-76665.jpe
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Size:  51.4 KB

  21. #21
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    It does hurt when there is little response to you. I have two nieces that are that way. They have baby quilts from my and I will not be making anything else for them. (unless they ask) OK I'm a softie.

  22. #22
    Senior Member hereca622's Avatar
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    People don't realize that these are like cloth children that we are giving them to love. I am very careful about giving away a quilt as a gift (other than to charity). I note how they take care of other things and if they discard large ticket items without a second thought. I put a lot of time and money into my quilts and give them to people that will use them and appreciate them.

    Last year, I paid full price for two brothers to go on a mission trip to another country. No thank you, picture or how do you do. They had the nerve to call me this year and ask for money. Sorry, I have already donated that money to another cause, which was the truth. I am a generous person, but I do not reward bad behavior. This generation of teenagers (and some grownups) need to realize a thank you note is a valuable tool.

  23. #23
    Super Member thequilterslink's Avatar
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    It hurts when someone does not appreciate a quilt you made and give to them, but nonquilters just don't understand sometimes. However when someone really does appreciate the gift, it sure makes you feel so good :)

  24. #24
    Super Member pollyjvan9's Avatar
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    I have given several to persons who didn't respond in any way although they acted thrilled when they got them. I mostly give my quilts to my children and grandchildren and they seem to really appreciate them. My daughter-in-law (whom I love by the way) does ask for quilts to give to her family members. This irratates me for some reason. I don't know her family for one thing and it seems like if she wants to give them a gift she might offer to at least pay for the fabric.

  25. #25
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    Hmmm....Well, I have a dear friend who whips out quilts like nobody's business for other people. Some of her color choices and combinations are, ah, quite different. I think to myself, I'm just thankful I'm not receiving one because I would really have to try to love it. That makes me feel like a small person. I know how much work and expense that goes into making a quilt so on that note I would appreciate one a lot more than someone who isn't into quilting and hasn't got a clue. So I always tell my kids and family that anything I make for them is to be used in any way they wish.

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