grammypatty7

Years ago I made a quilt for our oldest niece's first child. I asked my sister in law (the grandmother) first if she was going to be making the child a quilt and was told no so I figured it would be ok to go ahead and make the quilt. The Mom was thrilled to get the quilt but I was scolded by my mother in law for making that baby a quilt - scolded. I had initially planned to make a baby quilt for every new baby that a niece or nephew blessed the family with but never made another one after that. I still don't understand why I was scolded for it. My sister in law and the Mom were thrilled that I did. Another time, my husband's aunt asked me to help her complete a quilt she started when she was a very young child, under 10 for sure, but the time never allowed us to get together to complete the quilt. She was fighting for her life with cancer and I got this strong feeling that if that quilt was going to finished, I needed to go ahead an do it and with working full time, it took me 2 full years to complete and we presented it to them and it happened to be on their 50th anniversary which we didn't know until they told us that day. Both his aunt and uncle were so thrilled and so touched that I had completed the quilt and today, she has since passed on, the daughter has the quilt in her home on the guest room bed where it is still treasured and honored. Again, my mother in law scolded me telling me I had no business finishing that quilt like did - I wonder if she was jealous. At that point in our lives, we obviously didn't get along very well but we do now. My inlaws always disapproved of my sewing. Having grown up in the depression, having store bought things are more meaningful to them. Having "home made items" is embarrassing and almost insulting and a sign of shame. I did make each of them beautiful throws which they did use for years. They recently sold most of their things and moved into a retirement living situation where they move up through the levels of care and I have no clue what became of those quilts. I would have loved to have had them back but never asked for them. When we were invited to view the items in their basement to take whatever we wanted, the quilts weren't there so I don't know if they kept them or gave them to one of the other kids and I don't want to ask. Perhaps one day we'll find out and perhaps not and it's ok either way. Since they were giving all of us back the gifts we'd given them over the years, I kind of assume they have them with them even though I didn't see them in their apartment but I also wasn't nosy when given the tour.

grammypatty7

Every new baby should have a pretty new quilt for use when they are on the floor and babies love to lie and roll and check out the colors and pieces and pictures on new quilts. It doesn't hurt them. I did daycare in my home for 29 years and whenever a baby and I were on the floor playing, one of my quilts was under the baby. I and other daycare children would sit on that quilt and play with the baby. It was a wonderful, loving time AND those babies grew very attached to that play quilt and as they grew, that was ALWAYS the quilt that child wanted to use at nap time. I agree with that mother. What better use for a baby quilt and one you want to be loved and treasured. Trust me, that child will favor that quilt over the fancy one in the crib because that floor quilt will have more happy memories of playing and having fun.

grammypatty7

I'd say it says a lot that they used your quilt to photograph the babies one - a very big thank you indeed but without the actual words. If they didn't like and appreciate the quilt, you can bet the babies pictures would not have been taken with your quilt anywhere in sight. They were honoring you in their own way with their precious babies.

grammypatty7

Wow, your quilt is beautiful. I bet it comes out on cold evenings and they snuggle under it to watch TV together or perhaps it's used on a bed under the bedspread. I'm sure your son loves and appreciates your quilt. I know my son does but his wife won't let him use the quilts I've given him. She loves the quilts I make but doesn't want to wear them out so they don't get a lot of use. She and my daughter (best friends) actually got into a fight at a family gather over the use of the quilts. My daughter's family uses their quilts (hard use and abuse) but they love my quilts and those are the few I've had to do some minor mending on. I personally would prefer they be used and loved but sure can't argue with my daughter in law's philosophy either. I had to intervene that day to preserve their friendship and told them that they are both right. I also stated my preference is that they be used even if they do wear out but I also can't argue with a loved daughter in law who treasures my quilts to the point where she wants her children to know and appreciate my quilts, love them enough to keep them as heirlooms to be passed down through the generations. That's also a bit hard to argue with. When my daughter's quilts are worn out and gone, my son's children will have quilts to inherit.

mayday

Whilst it is VERY hurtful I would not want a quilt for a bed as I always have matching bedcovers/spreads over the duvet to match curtains ,but woul Love a gift of single size/large lap quilt --that would be SO GOOD but I fear no one will do one for me so make my own and sell the rest for www.englishtoyspanielrescue.
Try not to feel too hurt, they are obviously ungrateful philistines!!

puck116

My husband knows how hard I work on my quilts, so when I made a quilt for my MIL, he called her ahead of time to make sure she knew how hard I worked on it. The younger genereation is not always so good at sending thank you's, but if I know they are using and loving the quilt, that's okay with me.

dglvr

I made a very cute dog rag quilt that was not easy to make and was expensive for some dear friends because she thought mine was cute. I made it for her to put on her wall in the baby's room as mine is hanging in my sewing room.
Well I was dog sitting and went into her home and peaked into the baby's room to see how it looked on the wall beings I put wall hangers on it but found it all tucked around the matress in the crib. :evil: You couldn't even tell what it was. The baby had been sleeping on it and soiled it and Ohhhhh was I upset.
They had another baby recently and guess what. I made nothing for them. Nor will I ever. I'm glad I took pictures of it beings I'll never see it again. And your right about some people not understanding the time and effort and cost that goes into our works of art. I know I've made stuff for people though that do appreciate what I've done so that kind of makes up for it. :wink:

smcbride

This has happened to me. I gave one to my daughter for grandchild. Comment was "Oh how cute" and then put it on the table. People constantly ask me to make quilts and expect them to be done in a week or 2. They have no concept of the time and effort into making a quilt.

grammypatty7

Part of that is because there are ladies who can turn them out that quickly. I sure can't. My quilts are strictly reserved for family with very few exceptions made and then only for special people who know my work well and I know will appreciate and love a quilt and who will realize that they are close enough to me to be considered family.

sewmom

i made a baby quilt for someone and handed it to her husband so i knew she had recieved it. i never heard a word from her about it. or from her mom even when we were talking quilts and i refused to ask-it's like digging for compliments. but several months later we were both at a baby shower and i had made a quilt for the gift and she was using the quilt i had made for her son. in the conversation she said it was her faorite. i've come to the conclusion that some people don't write thank you notes-period. i make them because i want to and if they don't like it then tough!