Has anyone ever given a quilt as a gift to someone and after giving the quilt gift you hardly get a thank you? I just don't think people realize the time, work, thought and worry that you put into each quilt you do, especially when it is for someone you think is going to love it. I just finished a retirement quilt for a friend who I work with. We have worked together for 10 yrs. Her thank you to me was, "Your quilt was a big hit!"
Any thoughts on this? I know I should not be upset but I am.

YES! Just recently happened to me. Made a quilt for a teacher's retirement at our school. No lie ~ I handed it to her and she placed it on her shelf and said "oh! Thank you!" and that was it............

I don't give quilts (or handmade gifts for that matter) for the recognition, but I have to say that one kinda stung. I didn't expect that from her at all.

Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

This has happened to many of us. Unless the receiver is a quilter or at least a crafter they probably don't get it.

Oh this definitely happens, probably more often than I do get thank you's. It makes my husband madder than me. He wants to say something to them along the lines of "show a little respect". I just let it roll off because it gives me an excuse to make another quilt. The big thank you comes when you check back in with them in a year or two and find out they are using it everyday! I made one for my son's best friend when they graduated H.S. and he just had a baby 12 years later and when I went to take the baby a quilt he was thrilled and showed me his quilt. Says he cuddles up to watch TV every night under it.

Sadly quite often. BUT, I have decided when that happens--no more gifts for that person. This happened with my Stepdaughter who about lives on the computer. How hard is it to send an email thank you?

It's worse when it's your daughter. I promised myself no more quilts for her - I find them on the floor- being walked on, hanging up to cover the window when the room was being painted, etc.

But then, last year she asked me for one I was making and I can't refuse. So yes, she has two more. At least I find them (or one of them) on her bed once in a while.

I look at it as the gift was my time and thoughts. And because it is a gift, I can let go when I give it. I made my husband's two grandbabies quilts, and I am just starting to get to know his kids. (His ex-wife has made sure it's not comfortable for ANYONE to be friendly with me) My husband took them when he went to visit at Easter. They were a huge hit with the girls, and his daughter in law thanked him to pass along to me, but that's it. And you know, I'd make them quilts again, because it is not about the thanks I get, it is about the joy I feel in making them and giving them love.

I understand why people are hurt, but for me, it's part of letting go as I get older.I don't take on other people's rudeness or let it affect my actions. Life is too short to feel that kind of resentment. If my quilts get used, I'm happy.

Hugs...I would be hurt too. I agree, they probaly dont know how much work you had to put into it!

You are absolutely right but it still hurts.

I give my quilts to people I LIKE. It is my way of saying, "Here, I like you so you have the great honour of one of quilts being in your life. Cherish it or chuck it, it is yours and I am happy to have made it for you."
Now having said that DH keeps asking me to make a quilt for his daughter. She is thirty, has a great job and lives in another province and has never in the 6 years I have known him, sent him a birthday card, Father's Day card, Christmas card and of course never a gift either... so let me tell you I don't LIKE the selfish little %&!@* (rhymes with witch). She's on my list but I am hoping he forgets he has ever mentioned it!

I am making a lap quilt for a friend who is retiring from my old school, and I LIKE her. That's enough for me.

I am pretty picky on whom I give quilts too. My brother or sister in law wont get one because I do not think they are into quilts and it is not there thing. I did give my SIL a quilted table runner for Christmas last year and I have not heard anything from her. So sure wont be making a full size quilt.

At my daughter's house one day a couple months after Christmas I noticed a quilt I had given to her for Christmas was out on the patio table, wadded up waiting to be washed - I guess. I didn't say anything but she said "Oh here's your quilt, Mom" I replied, "No, it's not my quilt, when I give a gift, it's no longer mine."

As my husband says "you're not married to it, you're married to me" So, I have to mentally divorce myself from it, and so far, it does work. I just remind myself, "I'm not married to it."

Never with a quilt. One GF was brutally honest when she told me that she didn't like the top I was working on for her and she tried to lay claim to another top. It took me a while to get over the audacity but in the end.....I made her a quilt that she loves.

I seem to not do too well in the acknowledgement of regular gifts. Pat's nephew never said boo about the wedding present. I wonder if he expected a quilt (which I considered making but I had a feeling we were invited because of gifts.)

I don't think others realize the time and $ in making a quilt

Hey! Make one for me....(a rag quilt) and I'll show you what grateful is!!! :thumbup: :thumbup:

Mine are generally well received, thankfully. I have one friend that keeps trying to talk me out of making him a quilt but I think when he gets it he'll love it (its going to be a periodic table and he is a chemistry nut). I'm just really glad that people tend to understand the care that goes into my quilts.

Although.... I did make one for a ex and he never seemed to notice it when it fell off his bed :( I generally ended up sleeping under it instead of him. But... It happens...

Yes, I have given one as a wedding gift and have never received a thank you or even an acknowledgment that it was received (I handed her the gift bag with it in there)

Also when I sent a pair of quilts to my nieces, I never heard if they had even gotten then. I finally asked my niece about 5 mos later if they liked their quilts and she said that they both did (ages 11 & 9) My brother and SIL never said anything.

My mother in law gave my gift back to me two years later.

:shock: :shock: :shock: That is horrible. Several of you say that once you give a gift it belongs to the recipient and if a thank you isn't forthcoming...oh well.

I must admit that you are more gracious than I would be. I would vow never to make them anything in the future. Nonquilters may not know exactly how much money and time go into a quilt, but they surely know that it didn't make itself and can pretty well guess that a considerable amount of time went into making it. I guess if I'm not so forgiving I will have to be careful to make a quilt only for someone I am sure would be appreciative.

Well I made one for my son and DIL for their wedding. I was asked to make a contemporary quilt with an autumn theme. It took me forever as it was all handquilted. My son appreciated the work that went into it but I wonder if they really liked it because it has never been seen since. I am now working on a wedding quilt for my other son and his wife, but I am worried that they will not like it and the same will happen. Here is a (not very good) photo of the first quilt, which granted is more a wall hanging than a bed quilt, but they did want contemporary.

It does hurt when there is little response to you. I have two nieces that are that way. They have baby quilts from my and I will not be making anything else for them. (unless they ask) OK I'm a softie.

People don't realize that these are like cloth children that we are giving them to love. I am very careful about giving away a quilt as a gift (other than to charity). I note how they take care of other things and if they discard large ticket items without a second thought. I put a lot of time and money into my quilts and give them to people that will use them and appreciate them.

Last year, I paid full price for two brothers to go on a mission trip to another country. No thank you, picture or how do you do. They had the nerve to call me this year and ask for money. Sorry, I have already donated that money to another cause, which was the truth. I am a generous person, but I do not reward bad behavior. This generation of teenagers (and some grownups) need to realize a thank you note is a valuable tool.

It hurts when someone does not appreciate a quilt you made and give to them, but nonquilters just don't understand sometimes. However when someone really does appreciate the gift, it sure makes you feel so good :)

I have given several to persons who didn't respond in any way although they acted thrilled when they got them. I mostly give my quilts to my children and grandchildren and they seem to really appreciate them. My daughter-in-law (whom I love by the way) does ask for quilts to give to her family members. This irratates me for some reason. I don't know her family for one thing and it seems like if she wants to give them a gift she might offer to at least pay for the fabric.

Hmmm....Well, I have a dear friend who whips out quilts like nobody's business for other people. Some of her color choices and combinations are, ah, quite different. I think to myself, I'm just thankful I'm not receiving one because I would really have to try to love it. That makes me feel like a small person. I know how much work and expense that goes into making a quilt so on that note I would appreciate one a lot more than someone who isn't into quilting and hasn't got a clue. So I always tell my kids and family that anything I make for them is to be used in any way they wish.

Most of my quilts are made for people at work and given on behalf of the entire staff. I rarely receive personal thanks for these, but do get thanks through our chaplain. I have also been given LOTS of fabric by those who receive them. So for me that is enough from them. I do, however, make quilts for family and friends for special occasions. When I receive no reply for them I am disappointed. I don't expect everyone to fall madly in love with the quilts I make, we don't all share the same taste. But an acknowledgment that it was received and brief thank-you would be in order.

I send off my quilts with the request that if the person who gets it does not want to use it, that they pass it along to someone who will. For me, the saddest thing of all, especially in a child's quilt, is to be put on the shelf to "keep for good". I want them used, abused, taken outside, made forts with, and loved. If they can't be by the person getting them, I want them passed along.

I also think, at the risk of sounding like a geezer, that the Gen X generation has not been taught to say thank you. (there certainly are exceptions, and I don't want to condemn a whole generation). My husband's granddaughter is 20 years old. I gave her a vintage and very cute set of dishes, and bedding, etc. She moved out of her house and left it all behind. It never even occurred to her that I would be hurt by that. It's a generation of disposable products, in some way. My daughter is 25 and not like this, but then, she was raised to be aware of the gifts given to her, and the blessings she has had in her life.

It does hurt my feellings and I am getting to the point of not feeling obligated to make gifts for family members that do not appreciate them.
I have made special gifts for baby showers, made sure they were in the mail before the shower, and the last 3 have not even bothered to say thank you.
I at least thought they would let us know the baby came into the world fine and what they named it. IMO these people were just looking for a gift, nothing else :-( , and I refuse to be used again.
I make a lot of charity quilts and we never know what happens to them, and I understand that. When it is a family member it is completely different, just my opinion!!!!!

I never made my mother a quilt, and that is something I do regret now that she is gone. I made her numerous other handmade gifts. I remember one birthday card in particular. All handmade- even the paper. She called me after she received it and asked me if next time I could please just send a card from a store "like normal people". Probably why I never made her a quilt...

I pieced one, a scrappy bears paw, for my GD. She didn't like it (I love it!) Then she picked out a quilt kit that she likes.
It is still in its original package. I just can't get myself to work on a quilt that I don't like.

Good thing we do this for the love of quilting, and not to make others happy. I really like my idea of only making quilts for those I want to not because someone is having a baby and I made one for someone else. There were a couple of babies born last year on post. I made one for 1 of them and not for the other. ( I do not give them out at showers but 1 on 1 later on, so the other person does not even know I made a quilt. ) This year there are 4 babies being born within a couple of months. I am making 1 baby quilt. It takes me to long (I probably would make them all one). Happy quilting everyone. May we each find joy in what we do not in the end result. And for those out there that feel like you have to make one for everyone, just say no. Think of yourself as an acclaimed artist, artist don't make works of arts for there friends and family members for Christmas and birthday's and special occasions. I am going to consider my quilts grand work of art and be picky on who gets one.

I got a pineapple-crocheted bedspread that was made by MIL's grandmother - a true heirloom. It sat in a pillow case in a closet for quite a few years. Since we have cats with lethal claws and black dogs, I realized that I would never put the piece out. So I gave it back. I'd rather see the piece put out somewhere where it is appreciated and loved. Same with a quilt. I'd rather get a quilt back than find it used as a drop cloth or a dog bed.

My first mother-in-law used to make beautiful clothing and quilts for my children. One of the quilts she made for my daughter was made from hand-embroudered and cross-stitched panels that she and her sisters worked on when they were children. There were thirteen children in their family and the mother taught them to keep their hands busy to help them stay out of trouble. Mina (my MIL) kept these panels for many, many years. She had four boys who were not interested in such "girly" things. Finally when my daughter was born she had someone to whom she could bestow this heirloom and she pieced the panels together and made a gorgeous quilt. This quilt bridged all four generations together and there would never be enough words to thank all the hands that helped to create it. It was well-loved by my little girl Hilary for many years. Unfortunately this quilt, along with many other prized possessions, was destroyed when we had a terrible fire in our home in NY about 15 years ago. My daughter who is now a grown woman still talks about that quilt and asked me to try to make a replica for her to give to her children some day. I don't know if her Grandma who passed away several years ago ever realized how much that quilt was treasured and how much it is missed. I guess my point is that sometimes it takes some time before a quilt or any other handmade work of art finds its place in someone's heart. Just ask any art or music historian about some of the world's great artists and composers who suffered during their lifetimes from their work being rejected by so many but who are now held in such high esteem. When you give the gift of a quilt just do so joyfully knowing how much you enjoyed the process of creating it and assuming that someday, maybe in the far off future, someone will love it as much as you do. Don't worry that your gift does not seem to be appreciated as much as you think it deserves to be. Just know that someday it will be.

Mamagus.
Suggest to your DH that you would like to go visit the daughter instead of just sending something to her' since you have never met her. If she continues with her rudeness and cold attitude, you both will be face to face with it and can confront it. And make it into a beautiful vacation to buffer any rejection. So plan to stay at a nearby hotel, where you can get up and go.

I agree, MadQuilter.
I made a beautiful crocheted baby blanket for my new GD. I laterfound this tacked to the window as a curtain.
This same DIL wantedkit. towels for Christmas. I gave her many so she would have them for a few years. Then I saw her mopping the floor with them.
Some people have been raised this way because they have always had gotten what they asked for and more. We live in the land of plenty and it is now a throwaway society. Take a look at the landfills, the roadside garbage the poluted waters, etc. Sorry for the bandwagon speech.

I think sometimes our expectations are too high when we give a quilt to someone. We expect them to be as impressed and thrilled as we would be if someone gave us one and that isn't going to happen unless they make quilts or other time-consuming handmade items.

Also, I think we need to remember that we all get gifts that we don't care for. I assume that we know to say thanks and pretend we do to the giver, but that doesn't mean we wear the ugly sweater or put out the ugly vase. Quilts aren't going to appeal to everyone and we take a risk every time we give one to someone. We either have to assume the risk that they won't really care for it or not give them away anymore. And we can't assume they will use it in the way we meant when they don't treasure it in the way we wished.

If you are taking your time to make a quilt for her to give as a gift then she certainly should pay for all the fabric, batting, & thread.

I can see the work and love that was put into that quilt just from the photo. If that was my quilt I would have it where everyone could see it. It is beautiful!

happens about 9 times out of 10...i have waited ever so (impatiently) waiting to hear SOMETHING/ANYTHING from a person i've gifted a quilt to, and finally after a long-long time...sometimes 2 or 3 months later, will finally ask...so, did you receive the quilt i sent. i hadn't heard anything from you....and i get an...oh ya, it got here, its fine. thanks...sometimes someone else will tell me, oh, she loves that quilt you made for her...even if 'she' doesn't ever mention it... it took me awhile but i quit expecting any common curtisy(boy does that word look weird) anyway,
people don't seem to be taught to make a point of thank you's anymore...so, instead of letting myself feel hurt by someone who is inconsiderate, i finally (pat myself on the back) when i finish one,i know it is good, and if i give it and do not hear anything i assume they are so OVERJOYED WITH HAPPINESS that they can not even speak!!!:)
no point in dwelling on bad manners. i did give one quilt about 10 years ago, that the reciepient was not happy with ...(she loved the quilt, i made it to go on her big over-stuffed leather sofa , and she wished it was queen sized for her bed...took about 3 months, finally i asked, so do you like the quilt? and she told me...it's nice i just wish it fit my bed...i was a little miffed, it was all silks, velvets, embroidered, beautiful, made special for that sofa, but...that was my vision not hers...so i made her a new one for her bed...and no, she didn't feel like she should return the one that was too small... i have just learned to not take it personal, lots of people out there just think of them as 'another blanket' not everyone shares our passion, if everyone did we wouldn't have anyone to give them too..

I had made a Wedding ring quilt for a nephew and his bride...not a word. Then they were "flooded out" and lost tons of stuff including the quilt. My mom suggested I make another to replace the orignal one. I sent a Sears gift card to help them out. 'nough said.