I would use flannels, patterns easy on the eye with the colors your SIL loves. A simple pattern in order to get your present for her done ASAP. She can wrap herself in a soft, warm cloak of love made visible. It will mean so much to her .........

No to the M quilt definately. Know you want to show love but the host of mixed feelings may never be resolved for her. She will never need a reminder as she will always think as we all do that there was something she (they) could have done to prevent her death.

I think you exemplify the best in quilters on so many levels.....

Cindy

Also depends on what kind of relationship her and her mother had. If they were close, one day she may appreciate the memory quilt. If they were not close, she may just resent getting one. Better to wait.

So many variables with their relationship just now. I was thinking maybe some time in the future, when your SIL has had plenty of time to digest and can better cope, is this something maybe the two of you could do together? Having her involved with the whole thing may help her deal with her grief in her way and preserve the memories she wants to hold onto rather than you trying to figure it out.

Certainly a lot of choices presented here and I agree with the comfort quilt for now. Beyond that, this subject just shows me how much compassion and loving care is on this forum for people we only know through a screen. Thank you all for your caring thoughts. I wish I had had you all during our crisis. I'm sure I would have fared much better than I did.

I don't think that I would ever make a memory quilt for her. I agree on making her a pretty quilt that would let her know that you care.

my sister committed suicide about a year ago and for me a memory quilt would have been too hard for me to accept. A lap quilt would be perfect to curl up in when you just need to let loose. nice to know there are still people like you in the world thinking of others.

i agree. then later you could ask her if she would like something like that.

as for me? i would not want a memory quilt.

I second this opinion..

My 2 cents worth? I think a comfort quilt would be best at this time. I'm sorry for everyone's loss. We had a cousin take her life years ago and her sisters (who lived nearby)were guilt-ridden for years because they had missed all the signs. You're all in my prayers.

I agree that a comfort quilt would be nice and a memory one later.