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I would help her make it, and I would do all I could to make it perfect for her. I have to say, my ex and I are very good friends, and we were not friends when we divorced. But, we had two lovely children and they loved us both. Even though he was a jerk and cheated on me, and left me for another woman, today I can say, he is a great friend. I want to add, that one of my daughters greatest memories was when she graduated from High School, and out in the audience, sat her Mom and Step Dad, and right next to us, was her Dad and Step Mom, and her grandparents (from her Dad's side). She told me later that all the other kids had to keep looking all over, in different areas to find their families, and all she had to do was look in one spot..and we were all there. Now all these years later, and we have grandchildren, and every year my ex and his gf fly in for Christmas. We spend Christmas morning together watching our grandchildren, and we have a wonderful Christmas dinner together. It has been worth it to me, and to him, to remain close all these years, for our children and now our grandkids.
So about that quilt, I would get right on it : ) |
This was my thought, as well :)
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Help her but leave a few pins inside LOL!!!!
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What about the wife's feelings? Put yourself in her place... honestly....
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I would help her- and think(focus)on it as showing/teaching her how to quilt - not as making a quilt for the "ex" you and her can make some wonderful memories and who knows this may be the start of many more quilts together :)
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reguardless of your relationship with him it could help repair what went wrong to some extent and to do this with your daughter will always remember this time.
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I really agree with helping your daughter, in whatever ways she needs, to make the quilt. We don't have to have a friendship relationship with our ex or even see them ever again if it weren't for the children. Essentially, your children are part you and part him. You love your daughter and he is her dad. I'll bet this can be a very rewarding experience. I believe you will reap tremendous blessings from this if you can work and give with a good attitude. The story on "thatgirlthatquilt" is precious.
Somehow, some way, the anger and pain we have from these broken marriages has to be dealt with. That anger and that pain we try to bury within us will affect us spiritually, mentally and physically if we don't forgive. It doesn't hurt them, it hurts us. I certainly don't want to sound preachy or goody-goody. I say this because I have done some reaping in these areas. Not fun. I went through a terrible divorce experience with a man who has kept coming back and tries all he can to get me to come back to him. I am only saying this because I've had the divorce experience in my life and I won't for my own health, have any type of relationship with him. I don't get angry, I just do everything I can to hold my boundaries. If I speak with my children (adults) about their dad, I do so with compassion for him. My letting go and healing came with a lot of time, counselling and prayer. |
My ex is the one who kept being an ass after the divorce but I would have helped my daughter make him a quilt. There was no hard feelings on my part I guess because I wanted the divorce. I agree with those that said take the high road and help her make something for her dad. He will always be in your life because of the kids. Make the best of a bad situation.
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Originally Posted by angelaz
(Post 4722321)
I agree, I would suggest you help her and treasure the time you get to spend teaching her something you love so much. No matter what your relationship is with your ex, he is still her daddy and she loves him. You did something right to allow her to hold onto that.
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I would have to decline. If she is a quilter she can make it herself. If she is not a quilter that means you would
end up doing all the work. |
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