I say help her. You and your ex must have, at one time, found some common ground between you since you have a daughter together. I would, however, make sure she understands the cost involved and that your stash is off limits. She will have to buy all the materials. I believe once you work up the total cost of the materials she'll decide on another gift.

I would say no way. If she wants to give hime something to cherish then she needs to do something she knows how to do. If she still insisted on a quilt then I would give advice only, no actual work.

Always rise to the occasion. You are a better person for it. Plus you get to spend time with her. He still is her father your choice not hers. She is caught in the middle.

Help her make a lap quilt just for him ----------I wouldn't think a bed size quilt would fly with the newbie :-)

My sons get recommendations from me every few years when i see something i know their dad (my ex) would like. I do it for them, not for him...I do it to try to teach them to think about what the other person would like...if they listen and choose to follow my suggestions, fine, if they don't, that's okay, too. It doesn't happen often, just when I see a new tool or accessory or some little thing that I think they may not have seen...as the years have gone on, they usually have already noticed so it doesn't come up very often now...

the fact that your daughter has given this kind of thought to a wedding gift is due to the thoughtfulness and hard work you have demonstrated when faced with these situations. Find a pattern that is simple enough to be fast and that she can do most of it, and let the color be everything... send it out to be stippled in the biggest one possible...offer to pay for batting and backing if she covers the cost of the quilting....she needs to know what kind of cost is involved and to feel like the gift is really from her. When I mention cost, of course I am assuming that she is a teen, at least... if she is younger than that, then help her make a wallhanging...

okay, now if all of this doesn't sound like you can live with it, put her picture (or a pic of her and her dad) right in the middle of it and let the new stepmother live with that over the couch or on the wall.....she won't dare hide it...first in time, first in line...

My daughter taught me to quilt, so she wouldn't need my help. :) Anything she made would be much better than anything I could help her with.

Kudos! You give good advice.

What kind of help does your daughter need or expect? I would suggest that you take on a mentor role.

Well, it is her DADDY. You are her MOMMY. She loves you both. Yes, do it as a partnership. If she does not know how, help her along but give her the credit for trying. Bless both of you :)

Ditto this.