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Thread: Still working on not feeling guilty

  1. #1
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    Still working on not feeling guilty

    Last evening I pulled everything out of the large closet upstairs and set aside some projects I have absolutely no desire to finish. Fabrics, batting, and interfacings were sorted and placed in appropriate containers. Since I have almost completed this closet, I will soon be going to another area to declutter and purge.

    My parents grew up during the Great Depression of the early 1930's. I can be very resourceful and like to repurpose items with my skills and creativity. However, I have come to the conclusion that I will work on the following:1) I will be more selective in projects in the future 2) I have made some mistakes in selecting some projects in the past, but this is not life threatening 3) I do not have to warehouse these mistakes 4) I can cut my losses and move on 5) I can pass items forward where they can be used 6) This is a process...

    How many of us are in the same situation tonight?
    Last edited by kay carlson; 08-10-2012 at 06:47 PM.

  2. #2
    Super Member LyndaOH's Avatar
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    I think this is the perfect attitude and you have no reason to be guilty. You'll be amazed at how good you'll feel when you finish the decluttering process. Your creativity will bloom!

    You have officially been granted permission!

  3. #3
    Senior Member krysti's Avatar
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    You've got a great attitude about the whole thing, and now LyndaOH has officially granted you permission; so go for it!
    ​Krysti

  4. #4
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    I've been trying to do some de-cluttering for the last year myself. Lots of my things go to the charity shop. some sold here and elsewhere. Some given away to other quilters. I still have a long way to go. I'm over whelmed with stuff and know i can't possible finish all the projects I want to do. Unless I live to be 100 yrs old! So go for it!!

  5. #5
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    Erase the guilt by donating the items to groups that make quilts for children in hospitals or vets in VA hospitals, or to a church or charity rummage sale, or even the Goodwill.

  6. #6
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    i did this a couple years ago- put those unfinished items/orphan blocks/ufo quilts into boxes & sent them to a group of new sewer/quilters who very much appreciated them- it freed me up- i no longer had to feel guilty about not finishing them & the (new owners) were thrilled to have them to work on...i always say- if you don't want it- pass it on- there is always someone who appreciates it- when we no longer do.
    hiding away in my stash where i'm warm, safe and happy

  7. #7
    Senior Member teddysmom's Avatar
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    I had a quilt I started, got it hand pieced, and even sandwiched. I did a terrible job with the sandwiching (didn't get it smooth and tight enough). It was also batik which I learned is NOT hand quilting friendly. I hid it for a while in the back of the closet until I was sure DH wouldn't ask about it. THEN I got rid of it. No guilt - just a lesson learned. Everything I do doesn't have to be a "mountain top experience". Learned from that experience and am trying to be more selective on fabrics and patterns.

  8. #8
    Super Member burchquilts's Avatar
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    Guilt can be so crippling, can't it? It's hard to sew when you feel that burden, so pass these things on to someone else & get on with the projects you like. No need to feel about giving this stuff up... y'know what they say about one man's trash (not that I'm implying your stuff is trash... it's just the saying)... now, go find something FUN to sew!
    (¯`v´¯)
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    (¸.•´(¸.• (¸.•´¸¸.•¨¯`•.¸¸.♥ rebecca

  9. #9
    Super Member SouthPStitches's Avatar
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    Life is too short not to enjoy what you do. I'm in a slump of sorts too. Have a pieced lap that needs to be sandwiched for hand quilting. My best friend's birthday is 8/28/12, it's for her and I cannot find the motivation to complete it. My quilt room looks like a bomb hit it and it's been too stifling upstairs to do anything about it. If the heat holds today, even if I just get a little general straightening done, perhaps it will give me some incentive to move forward. If not, come on over for a barbeque!

    I do think you are on the right course though. Perhaps a change of seasons is what we all need to jump start our projects and imaginations.

  10. #10
    Senior Member alisonquilts's Avatar
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    I don't think it is a coincidence that "quilt" and "guilt" are only one letter apart...

    That said - move forward with the knowledge that gifting your UFOs will make some other people very happy!

    Alison

  11. #11
    Senior Member Bneighbor's Avatar
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    Today is a declutter day for my sewing room. I have an old desk and chair that I am donating to a young mother who is working out of her house. She has nothing, as she came from a very bad situation. I also have a bag of nice clothes to donate to her. Let's face it, IF I ever am a size 6-8, I would want new clothes....donate what is hold a grudge against me.
    My goal is to spend all day in there after we deliver the desk. I have my plans listed on the door along with dream pictures (many from here). This will not be a weekend project since we have lived here 10 years and the last 5 I have felt unhappy about the room. Everyone stuck their stuff in there...well last week a truckload of other people's stuff was pulled from the room. I called the people and said it is on the porch and trash day is tuesday...if you want it before then you better be here Monday night.
    Why do we "collect" then regret?

  12. #12
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    I feel you pain. I am purging my scrap booking stuff this week. Wow, I have a lot of stuff I will not use. Hard to part with it knowing how much i spent on it, but I need the room and someone needs this stuff. On my third day of cleaing my craft room to make more room for sewing!

  13. #13
    Super Member Lori S's Avatar
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    This subject reminds me of a similar situation. My Mom did grow up in the depression.. and could not bring herself to ged rid of any thing that had potential use . I went to help her get ready for new carpet in her sewing room...and the contents was overwhelming. She kept saying "just move it .. I'll go through it later". I finally convinced her that she had help now and maybe a few things could be "repurposed to other needy sewers"... and we could create the sewing room she dreamed of. Two SUV full trips to the GoodWill, we still had a MORE than ample stash. It was interesting that she had the current purchaces on the outer perimeter , and there was stuff taking up useful effiecient space that had been there for more years than I can remember , on the valuable shelf space. So the predominant image when you walked in was the old .. and the new was not at all visable
    When I asked her what fabrics she really wanted to sew she was clear .. it was the newer fabrics. The old was just mucking up the space, and there was a pronouced weight/guilt that these fabrics if purged was an admission of failure and reckless waste. The only emotional way for her to release was the concept that she had an abundance that should be shared with those who had not had the good fortune to have such a stash.
    When the room was put back together after new carpet , my sister and I spent two days creating the best possible space . She was overjoyed and brought to tears at the "new" room . It was a very visable relief , and there is a renewed joy in her sewing.
    My point to this tale is ... do what it takes to rid the weights so that your creativity and joy in your craft can fly!
    Just a note: I keep looking at the photos of board members Goodwill "finds" thinking I will see the drop offs I made... and seeing the delight that they were able to have this orphaned goodies at a affordable price.
    Last edited by Lori S; 08-11-2012 at 06:18 AM.

  14. #14
    Super Member nygal's Avatar
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    Keep what you want and donate the rest or even throw some away if you think no one will have any use for it. I have limited myself to no more than two quilt projects at one time. I do the same with knitting and counted cross stitch projects. That way I find I finish them and can move on to the next project and be happy.
    When it seems like the world is falling to pieces remember that the pieces are falling into place. We are nearing closer to the End Times.

  15. #15
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
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    a good purge helps the closets and the soul
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/Upnorthcrafter

  16. #16
    Senior Member kapatt's Avatar
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    I came to the same conclusion a few years ago. I have the tendency to hold onto everything, even things I don't like simply because I might need them later on. I finally decided that I wasn't going to let "things" have control over me. If I don't like something, I will put it away for a few months and then pull it out again to look at it with fresh eyes. If I still don't like it, I'll throw it out or I will give it away if I think it will be of value to someone else. It is a very "freeing" feeling to not let our projects control us.
    Kathyj


  17. #17
    Super Member Deborahlees's Avatar
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    Love your mind set....when my mother and father died and I cleaned out their house, I had a horrorable time getting rid of stuff. Of course I saved ALL her fabric. Four house/city moves latter I really started looking at those boxes, and went thru them, I was still working full time and had not gotten 'that deep' into my quilting. I had 30 boxes of avacado green, orange, lime green etc fabric that I knew I would never ever use or want to use....found a local group of older ladies that made charity quilts and donated them all....Had 6 boxes of quilting magazines, went to local quilt shop to pass on......after I was all done I felt so good, those items no longer owned me....I knew where my mother was and she was not in those boxes.....
    About once a year I like to go thru my entire sewing studio top to bottom end to end and weed out my 'stuff', will I ever make the expensive pattern, probably not (sell it on ebay) did I get every thing I wanted from these magazines (go to local quilt store) and finally my fabric...a stack to be made into charity quilts or charity pillowcase...and a stack to Goodwill/Salvation Army for someone to find and use up.....
    After all have to make room for new fabric.....
    Yes that is a real picture of my hometown Temecula, California. We feature premiere Wineries, World Class Golf Courses, Pechanga Indian Casino and Hot Air Balloons

  18. #18
    Super Member GrannieAnnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kay carlson View Post
    Last evening I pulled everything out of the large closet upstairs and set aside some projects I have absolutely no desire to finish. Fabrics, batting, and interfacings were sorted and placed in appropriate containers. Since I have almost completed this closet, I will soon be going to another area to declutter and purge.

    My parents grew up during the Great Depression of the early 1930's. I can be very resourceful and like to repurpose items with my skills and creativity. However, I have come to the conclusion that I will work on the following:1) I will be more selective in projects in the future 2) I have made some mistakes in selecting some projects in the past, but this is not life threatening 3) I do not have to warehouse these mistakes 4) I can cut my losses and move on 5) I can pass items forward where they can be used 6) This is a process...

    How many of us are in the same situation tonight?

    The contents of my sewing room are in every room of the house, getting sorted and thinned out. Well, not too much thinning yet. I've got crochet books, quilt magazines, cross stitch books that I will NEVER have the time to look at much less use. But so far, I've not gotten rid of much good stuff.

    You seem to be progressing much better than I am.
    Bad Spellers of the World
    U N T I E

  19. #19
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    Thank you, dear Friends, for sharing your heartfelt thoughts......

    I feel encouraged, empowered, enthusiastic!

    I actually want to finish organizing the upstairs closet today - we went out of town on the spur of the moment yesterday.

    With this in mind, I can treat myself to spend time having fun in the sewing area. :-)

    With my own situation under control, I will be able to face and complete another task that has gone on too long.

    Piecefully yours,
    Kay Susan

  20. #20
    Super Member nannyrick's Avatar
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    I think you have given all of us the "go ahead" and get rid of all the "stuff" we cling to.
    Thanks for the push.
    so many quilts to make, so little time.

  21. #21
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    I did the same purge a while back. My experience was good except that I donated the items to a local non-profit womens shelter for pick up. Never again.

    They sold/shared my name and address. My mailbox is full of donation requests from food banks, homeless shelters, independent leukemia groups, kidney dialysis, you name it. I have to screen my incoming calls because asking them not to call doesn’t work. The government do-not-call list doesn’t apply to non-profits.

    My discards are now dropped off at Goodwill. Sorry for the rant. Good luck with your declutter Kay.



  22. #22
    Senior Member Toni C's Avatar
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    Wow MattieMae I never thought of that. How awful that they did that. I got rid of my land line just for that reason, and now I get calls on my cell. I don't answer any number I don't recognize,feeling if it was important they will leave a message. One day my vet said my message box was full. I checked and it was all hangups. I give to goodwill because I can drop them off.

  23. #23
    Super Member pollyjvan9's Avatar
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    I have been doing some purging of my own but I just can't seem to get rid of the 'quilting stuff'. I have trimmed 3 closets of clothing down to one fairly small one and may donate even more. I have finally trimmed kitchen items (mine and my moms) down to a very reasonable amount. I have gone through bathrooms and gotten rid of all those hotel samples (they are so desirable when you see them in the hotel, but not so much after you get home), multiple combs, brushes, old toothbrushes, odd bottles of makeup I though I just had to have, thin towels and frayed washcloths. At this point I don't feel like I really have to purge very many quilting supplies...maybe later.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Bneighbor's Avatar
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    We dropped off the desk and other things to the young mother of my earlier post. She was so excited, you would have thought we delivered a priceless antique and designer clothes! She is our renter and she was so proud to show us what she has done with the house. (In exchange for cleaning and painting, we cut a huge deal on the rent for her). She has done wonders with the little house. When we got home I started purging my closet, I have put together 3 bags of almost new clothes that have been sitting in the closet, saying" haha you are too fat and I am going to constantly remind you!"
    Gone!!!I feel slim now!
    I also made note of things that she needs for the house, I may fill the SUV and just play Santa next Sunday.
    I feel so good that my " things" are now being used by someone who truly needed them.

  25. #25
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    With my memory I have found that if I toss or give items away I forget about them in no time! I never allow myself to feel guilty about tossing items that have no use to me, that causes stress and stress is unhealthy. It's is only stuff.
    Got fabric?

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