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Thread: Value of wedding quilt for my son

  1. #1
    Super Member lisalovesquilting's Avatar
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    Value of wedding quilt for my son

    I am making a wedding quilt for my son and DIL. It is king size and all batik bought from LQS. By the time I am finished it will have cost A LOT. I don't begrudge the cost at all. My problem is how to impress on them how valuable it is so they will take good care of it. I don't want to come right out and tell them how much money has gone into it. Please give me your thoughts on this.
    Peace is one of His greatest gifts.

  2. #2
    Super Member AshleyR's Avatar
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    Can you get it appraised and give the appraisal with it?
    You can have any design you want. As long as it's loops!

  3. #3
    Super Member Phannie1's Avatar
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    I was at Lancaster, PA last month and the Amish quilts they had for sale at some places where priced at $775.00. They were very beautiful but that is why I quilt. I can make for less.. But They were beautiful.

  4. #4
    Senior Member sewgray's Avatar
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    Why can't you tell them how much money and love and work and time has gone into it? Some people really have no idea.
    Lord, please keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

  5. #5
    Super Member Quiltngolfer's Avatar
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    Write a little tie on tag to go with it that explains how to take care of it. For example, "I am your wedding quilt. If you take proper care of me, I will last many years. I like to be washed.... I never want to be.... Etc.

  6. #6
    Power Poster joyce888's Avatar
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    Did you save the receipts from the fabric? And if you had it LA,d did you get and save the receipt? If you quilted it yourself, did you keep track of the hours and expense of thread, batting, etc.? All of this along with a pic of the quilt can be kept as a "proof of value" for homeowners or renters insurance. I would offer them the information (or keep it for them) so they could have the value added to their insurance policy. I know it's uncomfortable to tell someone the value of a gifted quilt but think of it this way, if you had purchased something off the bridal registry they would know the cost.
    Joyce

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  7. #7
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    If your son/daughter-in-law to be have over the years been exposed to quilting, your son might surprise you by really appreciating the love, time, effort (and yes, money) in your gift. If it's heirloom quality I'd say get an appraisal. I gift a lot of quilts, some of which I wish I had had appraised but I confess: I want my quilts used, hopefully for years. God bless their marriage and lives together

  8. #8
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    I think I would stress the sentemental value over the monetary. Find a little poem or write one about the love and care you put into every stitch. It could go with a card on how to care for their new treasure. If you tell them just how much you spent on it they will be afraid to use it. It would be sad if it was folded away in a drawer to protect it.

  9. #9
    Super Member ArtsyOne's Avatar
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    If they were to have a fire or a theft, their insurance company would insist on valuations in order to pay the claim, so Joyce888's idea of providing receipts and value of time is a very good one and you can tell them that's why you're doing it.
    A fabric stash is always missing that one fabric needed to finish the quilt on which you're working.

  10. #10
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
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    My kids already know the cost that is involved in making a quilt ( grumble about me spending their inheritance LOL) so maybe your son already knows ?

    And sadly they will either "get it " or they won't about taking care and appreciating all the time , effort and money that went into the quilt . It is just like any other quilt , you have to give it away and let go and hope for the best
    To keep your mind fresh- learn one new thing a day !

  11. #11
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    I just gave my daughter a beautiful sampler quilt which she really wanted, I told her the value was up there but I don't think she believed me. I do hope she enjoys it which I think she will but not realize the value.
    Create something beautiful from scraps.

  12. #12
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    An appraisal is the way to go. I had a wall hanging I made for one of my sons appraised and was surprised when it was valued (insurance appraisal) at over 1,100. Not as large as the quilt you are talking about. It was worth the 45.00 to know my work has improved to that level. When I gave them the quilt the appraisal went with it. That way they can talk to their insurance company to see if they need to insure separately. They already know the time and material that went into it let them know you have value in what you do.

  13. #13
    Super Member alleyoop1's Avatar
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    You might want to give them the receipts and/or tell them the cost so they can include it on their homeowners insurance.

  14. #14
    Super Member patchsamkim's Avatar
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    My son is getting married in October...and I am making them a quilt...reading these suggestions...and will be adding a special label...to let them know the quilt is made with lots of love and that the quilt should be well taken care of...sure hope they do take care of it well.

  15. #15
    cae
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    Wish I knew how to impress son and DIL with time, work, value and love that goes into making a special quilt for them. My own design, sampler style, photos, personalized embroidery, etc. and DIL still has it in the quilt storage bag given to them with the queen-sized quilt 7 years ago, even bought a quilt rack! So please find a way to save you much "distress" and let them know the "total value", made with "priceless" love.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by cae View Post
    Wish I knew how to impress son and DIL with time, work, value and love that goes into making a special quilt for them. My own design, sampler style, photos, personalized embroidery, etc. and DIL still has it in the quilt storage bag given to them with the queen-sized quilt 7 years ago, even bought a quilt rack! So please find a way to save you much "distress" and let them know the "total value", made with "priceless" love.
    I started a thread yesterday asking if a person got their feelings hurt when a quilt wasn't shown at all or wasn't used as intended. Most of the answers were along the gist of "You can't make a person like a quilt no matter how much you liked it while you made it. Some will never use it - some won't even keep it. When you give it away, forget it."
    But I'm sorry your DIL and son won't use your quilt or display it on a quilt rack - at least when you come to visit if at no other time.

  17. #17
    Super Member noveltyjunkie's Avatar
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    Honestly? If they do not appreciate your love and your work, I cant imagine that providing receipts will help .
    Quote Originally Posted by lisalovesquilting View Post
    I am making a wedding quilt for my son and DIL. It is king size and all batik bought from LQS. By the time I am finished it will have cost A LOT. I don't begrudge the cost at all. My problem is how to impress on them how valuable it is so they will take good care of it. I don't want to come right out and tell them how much money has gone into it. Please give me your thoughts on this.

  18. #18
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    when i made my daughter her wedding quilt after it was quilted & bound i had it appraised-then gave them the written appraisal with the quilt
    hiding away in my stash where i'm warm, safe and happy

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by lisalovesquilting View Post
    I am making a wedding quilt for my son and DIL. It is king size and all batik bought from LQS. By the time I am finished it will have cost A LOT. I don't begrudge the cost at all. My problem is how to impress on them how valuable it is so they will take good care of it. I don't want to come right out and tell them how much money has gone into it. Please give me your thoughts on this.
    There is another thread currently on this forum about giving quilts with strings attached.

    If you are concerned about replacement value for insurance that is one thing, but really insurance will only give them money not the love that went into the quilt.

    Once you give it to them you cannot dictate how it will be used or looked after. You do not want to impress upon them how 'valuable' the quilt is to the point they are afraid to use it.

    As I posted on the other thread my MIL wanted to give us her dining room suite when she downsized. She was all about how valuable it was, to the point that it had only been used 2 times in the 15 years she owned it. I refused as I knew it would never be mine to use as we saw fit. She gave it to my BIL and checks each time she is at his house for scratches and proper polishing. He has only used it twice in the 6 years he has owned it. Both times she was present and made many comments on the table and how careful everyone had to be. This is not an antique, but she wants it to become and heirloom. My BIL has no children and at 50 is not likely to now.

    My grandmother has an antique solid oak dining suite. It has dents and scratches and so many fond memories attached to it. We learned to play cards on that table, we made crafts with glue, shells sticks and stones. We ate meals, spilled drinks, sewed and so much more on that table.

    So my point is maybe your son and his wife will take your gift camping and it will smell of smoke, or have a pet snuggled with them in or on it. In a couple years your grandchild may have a diaper changed on it, a few years after that they may use it to build a fort or take it to the beach. Let them create their own memories with the quilt. Those memories and the love you put into making the quilt give it far more value than an insurance appraisal.

    My son will be getting married in a year or so, (they have not set the date), if I make them a quilt it will be freely given, no strings attached. Just as I have given him an engagement ring set, no strings attached. They can use it as it is, sell it or have it redesigned.

  20. #20
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    If they know you made it, you won't have to tell them. It'll have sentimental value right off the bat. I gave a 9 block quilt made from stash to a 13 yr old boy who calls me his 2nd mom and he had a fit if anyone besides him used it. And that didn't cost a lot to make!

  21. #21
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    There can be no price put on a quilt made with love, made with expensive fabrics or from scraps. We just want our quilts 'honored' in some way and maybe as someone suggested somewhere or sometime your son's family will make their own memories of the quilt.

    Maybe you know your DIL well enough and she might be like a SIL I had, she only valued a gift if she knew how much it cost not how much thought and caring went into it. If that's the case nothing you can do will impress upon her what your labor of love is worth.

  22. #22
    Super Member ghostrider's Avatar
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    Do as ckcowl suggested. Have your quilt appraised and give them the appraisal documents along with the quilt. You have no control over how they treat the gift once it is given. That was determined long, long ago when they were small children.
    The Earth without art is just "Eh".

  23. #23
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    I've learned over the years that once a quilt is gifted, or anything else for that matter, you just have to let it go or you'll drive yourself crazy. Include a tag on how to care for it (don't forget to emphasize it shouldn't be dry cleaned) and maybe a jar of quilt wash. I would rather see a quilt I gave someone as a gift worn and frayed after a couple of years then in pristine condition. That means it's been well used and well loved. (I never did like the phrase "cutter quilt" you see a lot on eBay.)

  24. #24
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    Well said Tothill!

  25. #25
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    I can't imagine telling my boys how much something cost that I gave to them. Just tell them all your love went into making this quilt. INMHO

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