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Thread: When you see your quilt

  1. #76
    Super Member Wanabee Quiltin's Avatar
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    I personally put my heart and soul into every quilt I make. They cost a great deal of money and lots of work and time, so yes, I would get hurt if someone didn't use it. I have given very few of my quilts away and when I have, I have made very sure the colors and design match the person. I have had very good results, so far. This Christmas I will be giving away many quilted items as gifts and I am planning on thinking that what they do with their 'gifts' is their business, not mine.

  2. #77
    Super Member Deborahlees's Avatar
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    my mother was a great 'starter' but not a finisher....lots of single blocks in her trash....
    the only item that made it to any size was catheral window (all done by hand of course)
    that ended up almost 3 feet square.
    my husband made a wood frame for it and it hangs in my sewing studio....
    I am very proud to look upon it on a daily basis and can not imagine it in a closet....
    Yes that is a real picture of my hometown Temecula, California. We feature premiere Wineries, World Class Golf Courses, Pechanga Indian Casino and Hot Air Balloons

  3. #78
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    The worst hurt is when you go to visit and see the quilt you made being used for the dog to lay on!!

  4. #79
    Super Member justflyingin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaspersu View Post
    I have only given quilts to my mom! :lol: and one small one was meant (by me) to be used in her bedroom but she had it on a chair in the living room when I visited. .
    I personally think "on display on a chair in her living room" is actually a more prestigious place than her bedroom. Obviously she is very proud of it and wants people to see it! Congrats.

  5. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaspersu View Post
    I have only given quilts to my mom! :lol: and one small one was meant (by me) to be used in her bedroom but she had it on a chair in the living room when I visited. I have to laugh at myself for being slightly miffed. I had another one with me that I made for her bed. It isn't a masterpiece by any means, and the back is about as interesting as the front. I can't be offended if she doesn't end up using it like I pictured.
    I'm a relatively new quiltmaker and so far I have given only one "quilt" away--a Labyrinth tabletopper in patriotic colors to a friend whose husband is retired Navy. I gave it to her because when she learned I had begun quilting and knew why it was important to me, she, several times, sent me quilting magazines. When she called enthusiastically thanking me for the tabletopper I told her she could pass it on if she liked and she said "no one's getting this out of my hands!" What she will actually do with it, I have no idea and will probably never know since she lives in another state. The truth is, her friendship and encouragement is why I gave it and why she so graciously accepted it. The quilt itself is less important (though I did love the little thing when I finished it and I think she meant it when she said she loved it, too). Also: if I don't already know someone's taste, I usually just feel them out about whether or not they would like a quilt (or any handmade gift). Many don't, plain and simple. And that's their perogative.

    A few years ago I gave my DS and DIL a beautiful (it was the pattern and colors that made it so) crocheted afghan, which they had expressed a great desire to have when they saw me working on it. They loved it when they got it but they are careless with possessions and there's no telling where that afghan is today. But I knew that when I gave it and I gave it anyway. I'm currently handquilting a large throw size quilt for their son (also somewhat careless) and I can't predict it's ultimate fate either. Do I regret the care--or lack thereof--of the things I made with love and by my own hands? Yes. Can I do anything about it? No. Unless quilters want to keep every quilt they make (I don't, nor do I have room) then these are the chances they take. By that same token, I keep certain things I've made simply because I won't take that chance; I recently made a small attic windows quilt that I will keep "just because". But for the ones I give, I take pictures, hope for the best, and try not to judge. And what I hold to is the joy and appreciation I saw when I gave them.

    Last Christmas I made my youngest grandson a Minesweeper "doll" (he calls it a figure) and more recently a Steve "doll" (from the same online video game). I found a kind of pattern for one, the other I had to make up, as they say, out of whole cloth....in this case fleece. His genuine delight in these gifts made my day and if they are now forgotten under the bed or out in the backyard (which I don't believe) I still remember how thrilled he was to get them and that makes it worth it.

    This post prompted a LOT of responses. I doubt any of us would feel quite the same about gifts we bought as about the things we create with our mind, heart and hands!
    Last edited by Friday1961; 08-19-2012 at 08:35 AM.

  6. #81
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    My feelings don't get hurt by how people choose to use my quilts, my heart just soars with joy if they are using them at all.

    My dog has taken a personal interest in most all of my house quilts, so I can't complain when others do the same. She makes a beeline to any quilt she sees, it's pretty funny actually. I have a few quilts where I like the back more than the front, so if someone has a quilt folded "wrong" on the sofa, I usually assume they didn't pay attention to how they folded it- but I might think maybe the prefer my quilting to my piecing, either way, the quilt is out.

    I made my nephew a baby quilt, and for 5-years, never once saw it. I figured it was never used, and had likely been donated- forgotten that it was a hand made speciality. Well, 5 years later my sister sends a picture of my nephews playing out in the snow. The new babies are laying on that old quilt. Yes, it was outside in dirty snow, but it was still in the house, and still loved by the recipients.

    Once I give it away, I can no longer control it. But man, it sure does make me happy if I find out that the recipients do use it, and haven't hidden it away (or worse, given it away)

  7. #82
    Super Member Sierra's Avatar
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    " Would you want the person you gave a quilt to say right up front "Thanks but I really don't like this and give it back to you?"

    Absolutely! As in the case of the raffle-won quilt, which I insisted upon taking back because it simply wasn't their style AND it they saw an awful face in it! I wrote about it on this thread. If they don't want the next (replacement) one, that's OK also, but I would like it back if they simply don't want it. They are wonderful people, just much more dignified and conservative than I am. Perhaps a shinny really puffy quilt is more their style... I don't know. But I love them and am trying to make one they will like.

    If I didn't know someone so well I'd probably keep quiet... but family, extended or not, they can speak up, or if the grapevine message gets to me, I'll speak up. Why not?
    Last edited by Sierra; 08-19-2012 at 08:57 AM.

  8. #83
    Super Member tjradj's Avatar
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    Why would my feelings be hurt?? When I give a quilt, it's not with strings attached. The recipient is free to use it as they please.
    I used to be "hot", now it's just "hot flashes!"

  9. #84
    Super Member grandme26's Avatar
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    I make my quilts to be used and not displayed. If that persons wants to display it fine, it is also fine to use it.
    Grandmeto6 aka Judy

  10. #85
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    What an interesting thread to read. It really tells so much about the folks on the Board and how they feel about the quilting. My little tale is this, I found a beautiful quilt top in the closet in a paper bag after my mother died. Some
    years later when I went to the area of her birth and was writing about her I talked to relatives who told me about the top. It was made by my grandmother (Mother's mother) and I was named for her! So I became a quilter but had that top hand quilted by a person in Mom's birth area. It has faded badly but is still a memory of someone I never knew and who's daughter didn't care enough to even mention it.

    I have written about both women and the quilt and written a poem about the quilt and how women are connected by threads of memory. My granddaughter will have the quilt eventually. Never underestimate the power of a quilt!

  11. #86
    Super Member Greenheron's Avatar
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    I'd rather NOT see my quilts on top of the bedding. Our households all have dogs now and permissive slobs that we are, the dogs are on the beds night/day and the JRT burrows under the covers. And once in a while they scratch up the covers to improve their nests.

    No one likes to see unappreciated gifts, it shows lack of respect for the giver's feelings--hand work most of all, from a tot's scribbled crayon art, a kid's potholder, etc. to a grand quilt.

  12. #87
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    Justme CA,
    I would love to see your poem about your grandmother's quilt posted here if you wouldn't mind sharing it.

  13. #88
    Super Member margecam52's Avatar
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    In 1989 or so, I did a swap on Prodigy (remember that forum/bulletin board? lol)...and got a lot of black/white fabrics. I decided I was going to take a piece of vintage red fabric w b/w tiny flowers on it and make a serged log cabin quilt. My son kept saying...ugh, it's dull, ugly, etc. By the time I put the borders on and was quilting it (on my old Kenmore)...he was telling everyone that it was HIS quilt. I gave it to him...he later went off to College, then when we moved to CA, and he came back home...he had a jet ski...had taken some classes & was a boat mechanic...so...he tells me he needs my help with a part..."It's really dellicate mom, and with my eyes, I need you to help get it out of the trailer cubby." Ok...didn't understand, but went get it out for him...that precious part for his jetski...it was all rolled up in the log cabin quilt! Greasy, and looked like it had torn in places...I gently unwound the quilt from the part and my son held the part in place while I put the screws in (I have smaller hands, have since Lon Jr was 4 years old...he's 6'4"+ now, a very tall man of 39)...he thanked me...and started to close the lid on his trailer cubby... I told him to give me the quilt, I had something better for wrapping parts...an old wool army blanket. I broke out every time I touched that thing.
    On closer inspection of the log cabin quilt...it was not torn, the serger thread I used to quilt it was in tact...some of the fabrics (my favorites...had Bob Hope, James Cagney, Mae West, etc. on it) had disintegrated! Just left nice quilted rectangle holes where it used to be. I still have that quilt...never replaced the missing sections...I use it for family picnics as a table cloth, to sit on, etc.
    My son said later he expected a lecture from me on the quilt's treatment. I said, "Nope, you loved that quilt to death, and when a nice soft protection was needed for that part..you used the quilt...it was an honor to see you still had it. It was made with fabrics that I had no idea of on the content...Yet, even after the pieces were gone, you didn't toss it."
    I actually was proud he still kept the thing. Now, It's so worn, it's really ready to be tossed, but I'm gonna finish using it to death!

    The fact that whoever uses the gift of a quilt, no matter how it's used...is an honor in itself...it could be in the back of a closet, or in the goodwill bin...just be glad it's there.


    Quote Originally Posted by TanyaL View Post
    When you have given a quilt as a gift and later you see it used on a bed, but it is not being shown, another quilt is on top, or a comforter or a bedspread, are your feelings hurt? When you have given a lap quilt and you see it displayed on a sofa, but the back of the quilt not the front is the side that is being shown, are your feelings hurt? Do you say anything? If you gave a lap quilt and thought it would be used on the sofa and you saw it used in the car, would you be hurt?

    I'm thinking of a comment that "The front of the quilt was just too busy with all that pattern and color - the solid color of the back was so much nicer."!!!!
    Marge Campbell
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  14. #89
    Power Poster sewbizgirl's Avatar
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    I think we all know that a gift belongs to the recipient once we give it away. (How obnoxious would we be if we showed up at their house to make sure it was being used the way we wanted it to be?) If it's hidden under other quilts, folded up in the back of the car, or kept on a closet shelf, it's pretty obvious they don't like looking at your quilt. At least they are making some sort of use out of it, but the question was "Are your feelings hurt?" and of course they are! We don't say this to them, but yes it hurts that they don't love your artistry as much as you hoped they would. It hurts. When a gift is underappreciated in this way, I make a FIRM mental note never to give the person another gift with as much of 'me' invested in it... to spare myself more hurt. I think that's human nature.

    It's very risky to give handmade gifts when you don't know for sure how they will be received, because you are giving part of yourself away with them. Rejection of the gift is going to feel like rejection of you.
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  15. #90
    Super Member Lynneander's Avatar
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    As so many others have already said, when I give a quilt away, I want it to be enjoyed any way the person wants. The best thing I have ever seen was the first quilt a made for my oldest grandson. After 12 years it is completely tattered ... I couldn't be happier! I know it has been well used and loved.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us ... Ralph Waldo Emerson

  16. #91
    Super Member quiltlady1941's Avatar
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    I made a king size carpenters star quilt for my niece and she said she loved it but the next time I went to visit her she had it on the floor for her dogs to lay on..I did feel bad at first but then I thought it is hers to do what she wants with it.. just glad that someone is getting joy out of using it and her dogs love it..LOL

  17. #92
    Super Member purplefiend's Avatar
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    I gave a wedding quilt to my Dh's brother, it kinda hurt my feelings that nobody ever sees the front of the quilt; only the back. If I had known that I would've given them a bedspread from Wal-mart. Its not my quilt anymore and therefore I have no say how it is used.
    This is a picture of the quilt:
    http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/...45965719fgaxFs

    Sharon

  18. #93
    Senior Member berrypatch's Avatar
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    Quilts to Grandchild

    Quote Originally Posted by crafty pat View Post
    I would never say anything to someone on how they used my gift. All the quilts I have given away have been loved and treated with love, however if I felt hurt by the treatment of one I would never give that person another quilt.
    I must add that I have given quilts to my grandchidren & when I asked him if it was keeping him warm, he said he "lost it" My daughter-in-law never uses anything I give them, homemade or bought, believe me, this hurts. What would you do ??;/

  19. #94
    Power Poster solstice3's Avatar
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    I am thankful that they are using it. It would crush me if it ended upin a thrift shop or yard sale.

  20. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by berrypatch View Post
    I must add that I have given quilts to my grandchidren & when I asked him if it was keeping him warm, he said he "lost it" My daughter-in-law never uses anything I give them, homemade or bought, believe me, this hurts. What would you do ??;/
    I would start giving checks or photographs .

  21. #96
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    Most of my quilts, I never see again, because they were given to a charity, like the battered women's shelter. The ones that I made for o ur children and grandchildren have all been heavily used. However, one that I gave to a neighbor received an honor that embarrassed me. When this older woman moved in across the street from us, I realized that she was hardly using her furnace. I gave her a small quilt that I had just finished. It had a gazillion mistakes, but I thought she could use it to wrap up in to keep warm when watching TV. Imagine my surprise when I visited her next and saw the quilt hanging on the wall. This wasn't just an act to make me feel good, because the quilt was still hanging there 3 years later. She has since taken it down to redo that wall but assured me that the qulit would go back up as soon as she got the painting done. The quilt was only what I considered a utility quilt in a simple stair step design.
    Happy quilting Grandma

  22. #97
    Super Member Neesie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by purplefiend View Post
    I gave a wedding quilt to my Dh's brother, it kinda hurt my feelings that nobody ever sees the front of the quilt; only the back. If I had known that I would've given them a bedspread from Wal-mart. Its not my quilt anymore and therefore I have no say how it is used.
    This is a picture of the quilt:
    http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/...45965719fgaxFs

    Sharon
    It's a beautiful quilt!!!
    Neesie


    By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
    ~Richard Dawkins

  23. #98
    Super Member Neesie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by berrypatch View Post
    I must add that I have given quilts to my grandchidren & when I asked him if it was keeping him warm, he said he "lost it" My daughter-in-law never uses anything I give them, homemade or bought, believe me, this hurts. What would you do ??;/
    I would give the kids something edible and give the DIL nothing.
    Neesie


    By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
    ~Richard Dawkins

  24. #99
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    My pets are allowed on my lap, couch, and bed. My daughter made a beautiful quilt for me that I kept folded on the back of a seldom used chair. One day I noticed the quilt was missing. When I mentioned it to her, she said if I wasn’t going to use it, she was. Her house is also an indulgent pet home. It is now being used on my bed and she is happy.

    I think “treated with respect” is a subjective term. When her beloved old dog died, she buried him wrapped in the quilt I made for her when she was a teenager. She is very aware how much time and work goes into a quilt, but knew I would not consider her act of love disrespectful.

    Other thoughts: (1) You can buy a “quilt” at Walmart for $20, some people think that’s what quilts are worth. (2) I quilt for my own pleasure and enjoy the cutting, intricate piecing, and the actual quilting. My biggest expense is buying fabric from my LQS. (3) Just because I think my quilt is gorgeous, doesn't mean it is. (4) Some people don’t want cats or dogs, some don’t want them in the house, some only want them on the floor, and some people regard them as treasured members of the household.



  25. #100
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    I give and let go....but must admit was a bit surprised when last year I made a quilt for my mother. I agonised over the pattern, spent quite a bit of money on some special fabrics (all her favourite colours)...stitched with love and care. The backing I had on hand...chintzy apricot/mauve rose fabric (not a favourite of mine)...but I knew Mum would like it. The idea was, she could use it for Nanna Naps etc. Sure enough she keeps it on the end of the bed....Backside up! My sister and I make a game of sneaking into her room and flipping it right side up every time we visit.....As long as she loves it and uses it...I don't really mind

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