Your stash is part of your estate!
03-28-2011, 05:52 AM
#33
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Winter PArk, Florida
Posts: 1,145
Originally Posted by jillaine
I have been so astounded by the wonderful collections so many of you have-- huge "stashes" of amazing fabrics, as well as quilts-- finished or not-- either made by you or others, as well as any number of quilting-related items.
We've also read posts on this board about amazing findings at estate sales and yard sales and in Goodwill and thrift stores. And many of us have commented on the apparent ignorance some people have towards the value of the stashes left behind by family and friends.
What do YOU want to happen to your stash/collection after you're gone? Is it part of your estate? Have you accounted for it in your will? If you don't have a will, or haven't accounted for it in your will, have you otherwise communicated to your family what you want done with it?
This is important to me because I am also a family historian. I have a cousin (I can't believe I'm related to him...) who when his parents died, basically put everything out on the curb in hefty bags for the trash people to pick up. Everything that wasn't large furniture. Everything. We lived across the country from each other then, and I didn't learn about his actions until long after they occurred. But I was appalled.
We can't control much once we've died, but we can make our wishes known.
Have you?
We've also read posts on this board about amazing findings at estate sales and yard sales and in Goodwill and thrift stores. And many of us have commented on the apparent ignorance some people have towards the value of the stashes left behind by family and friends.
What do YOU want to happen to your stash/collection after you're gone? Is it part of your estate? Have you accounted for it in your will? If you don't have a will, or haven't accounted for it in your will, have you otherwise communicated to your family what you want done with it?
This is important to me because I am also a family historian. I have a cousin (I can't believe I'm related to him...) who when his parents died, basically put everything out on the curb in hefty bags for the trash people to pick up. Everything that wasn't large furniture. Everything. We lived across the country from each other then, and I didn't learn about his actions until long after they occurred. But I was appalled.
We can't control much once we've died, but we can make our wishes known.
Have you?
03-28-2011, 06:06 AM
#34
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Ohio, just east of Toledo
Posts: 1,369
I have nothing in writing, but I have 2 sons and a daughter and we've talked about certain things that will go to certain kids. After they get them, they can do whatever they want with them, trade or whatever.
My oldest gets his great grandma's grandfather clock, my youngest son gets the childsize rolleop that my fil used as a child, and my daughter gets my Kitchenaid mixer (1980 model), my stash, and her great grandma's oak highchair that folds down into a stroller
My oldest gets his great grandma's grandfather clock, my youngest son gets the childsize rolleop that my fil used as a child, and my daughter gets my Kitchenaid mixer (1980 model), my stash, and her great grandma's oak highchair that folds down into a stroller
03-28-2011, 06:21 AM
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,197
I told my daughters that if anything happens to me to call my sewing buddy to come and get my fabric. They seemed to be insulted. None of my daughters or grand daughters are interested at this point but I hope to get them interested before I die then maybe one or two of them would like to have my fabric. I think a quilters will sounds like a good idea. Our local humanitarian groups do a lot of quilts to send over seas and for the childrens hospital so I am sure they would be considered for donations.
03-28-2011, 06:22 AM
#37
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Bend, Oregon
Posts: 1,853
I know my daughter would want all my quilts, but has absolutely no interest in all the stuff to make quilts. I am going to leave all my sewing machines and quilting tools to my good friend and all my fabric to my church. The ladies there make quilts for baby layettes for underprivledge mothers.
I really wish I had a family member who would cherish my quilting stuff, but I don't.
I really wish I had a family member who would cherish my quilting stuff, but I don't.
03-28-2011, 06:27 AM
#38
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: SC
Posts: 492
When my great grandparents passed on, one of their sons burned their furniture. I was told he didn't think anyone would want their old stuff. The rest of their stuff was thrown in a sinkhole!
They had lovely furniture and china. My grandmother was furious.
They had lovely furniture and china. My grandmother was furious.
03-28-2011, 07:08 AM
#40
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,265
Yes, I've made my wishes known, and it's in my will; quilts are assigned as I make or receive them, and the sewing room contents go to a few friends and several local organizations after my daughters and grandkids have their choice.
I can't stress this enough: PUT IN WRITING, EVERYONE!!! DO NOT COUNT ON ANYONE REMEMBERING WHAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED DONE. The courts will tell you that if your wishes aren't in writing, they cannot be followed (enforced). There must be hundreds of you out there who have personal, painful experiences of a loved one's wishes not being followed after their death. On a personal level, grief makes people act out of character sometimes, and makes others act as they truly are.
My husband and I just about choked with grief when - without our knowledge and 3 weeks after-the-fact - my (ever-mercenary, always selfish) brother-in-law told a friend of his to come in to my mother'in-law's home and take what she wanted and sell what she thought she could; he did this after taking all the high-priced electronics and antiques for himself ... and the friend of his promised him a cut on the sales of the other stuff. Unconscionable. I can't tell you how many quilt blocks and tops from the 30s, 40's, and 50's along with fabric and notions that she repeatedly stated she wanted the quilt blocks and tops to go to me (to finish for charity fundraising or family) and her grandchildren (our daughters) and the rest to go to local schools and vocational schools to teach sewing and quilting. My brother-in-law's friend wanted her mother to have it all. Unconscionable.
Thank GOD my mother-in-law gave me 3 king-size, 8 queen-size and 8 large laptop quilts tops to finish for her before she died; she wanted me to give them all to her at the same time so she could really celebrate having her "heritage finally completed" from the boxes in her attic. My daughters, grandchildren and my husband and I have those quilts, and we each have provisions in our wills as to how they quilts will continue to be loved, honored and cherished as our family heritage.
On a non-stash related note, after my brother-in-law took what he wanted and his friend took the other stuff, you'd think that what was left wasn't much. Not so! My husband and I took all the beautiful embroidered pillowcases, and all the aprons (40!!!) she wore over the decades, and which came from her mother, aunts and grandmother. My daughters received some of the pillowcases as wedding gifts to have Betty with them in their homes.
I have Betty's aprons hanging in the laundry room (see below). I always hated doing laundry until we hung those aprons up in our retirement home. My mother-in-law and I "visit" every time I go into that room, and I just love the energy of it. You can't tell by the photos, but the walls are a 50's aqua that Betty, her mother, aunts and grandmother loved, so it's like having all these wonderful women with us now. It seems the only things these women agreed on was liking this color ...!
I can't stress this enough: PUT IN WRITING, EVERYONE!!! DO NOT COUNT ON ANYONE REMEMBERING WHAT YOU SAID YOU WANTED DONE. The courts will tell you that if your wishes aren't in writing, they cannot be followed (enforced). There must be hundreds of you out there who have personal, painful experiences of a loved one's wishes not being followed after their death. On a personal level, grief makes people act out of character sometimes, and makes others act as they truly are.
My husband and I just about choked with grief when - without our knowledge and 3 weeks after-the-fact - my (ever-mercenary, always selfish) brother-in-law told a friend of his to come in to my mother'in-law's home and take what she wanted and sell what she thought she could; he did this after taking all the high-priced electronics and antiques for himself ... and the friend of his promised him a cut on the sales of the other stuff. Unconscionable. I can't tell you how many quilt blocks and tops from the 30s, 40's, and 50's along with fabric and notions that she repeatedly stated she wanted the quilt blocks and tops to go to me (to finish for charity fundraising or family) and her grandchildren (our daughters) and the rest to go to local schools and vocational schools to teach sewing and quilting. My brother-in-law's friend wanted her mother to have it all. Unconscionable.
Thank GOD my mother-in-law gave me 3 king-size, 8 queen-size and 8 large laptop quilts tops to finish for her before she died; she wanted me to give them all to her at the same time so she could really celebrate having her "heritage finally completed" from the boxes in her attic. My daughters, grandchildren and my husband and I have those quilts, and we each have provisions in our wills as to how they quilts will continue to be loved, honored and cherished as our family heritage.
On a non-stash related note, after my brother-in-law took what he wanted and his friend took the other stuff, you'd think that what was left wasn't much. Not so! My husband and I took all the beautiful embroidered pillowcases, and all the aprons (40!!!) she wore over the decades, and which came from her mother, aunts and grandmother. My daughters received some of the pillowcases as wedding gifts to have Betty with them in their homes.
I have Betty's aprons hanging in the laundry room (see below). I always hated doing laundry until we hung those aprons up in our retirement home. My mother-in-law and I "visit" every time I go into that room, and I just love the energy of it. You can't tell by the photos, but the walls are a 50's aqua that Betty, her mother, aunts and grandmother loved, so it's like having all these wonderful women with us now. It seems the only things these women agreed on was liking this color ...!
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
craftybear
Links and Resources
14
09-27-2011 06:46 AM
craftybear
Links and Resources
5
09-25-2011 04:02 PM
craftybear
Links and Resources
10
06-10-2011 03:13 AM
craftybear
Links and Resources
2
02-19-2011 07:24 AM
