Nammie to 7

Most of us have had really bad experiences with this issue haven't we! I make quilts, aprons and purses for those I want to make them for - learned to say NO a long time ago. Like everyone, I don't have enough time to do what I want and really don't want to work with someone else's colors, pattern or time line. Now if someone offers to buy something I've already made, at a price I consider fair then I would consider it. I don't want my hobby to become work!!

tessagin

Many years back I used to make ornamental hat stands for different occasions, holidays, showers, b-days and so forth. An acquaintance of mine called me after I made one for her granddaughters b-day. One of the guests thought she made it and she never said anything different. Acquaintance needed 5 by the end of that month, I said "Really" then she says she would only charge them $20.00 for each one. "Didn't I think that was cool? I'll give you $5.00 for ea." I said "No, I have more than that wrapped up in material alone. They were $45.00 each and up and they can call me. You can give them my number and that was the end of that. These were centerpieces and for the bridal showers I did replicas of the bridal veils and dresses and tuxedos. Some were 2-3 ft. tall.

Rose_P

ptquilts, I believe you've got something there. Perhaps we do need to let people know when we are a little offended. If we waffle or capitulate but feel resentful, we're missing a chance to educate the person who would dare to make this sort of request. It would be rude to tell them they're out of place in so many words, but if someone is rude to us, I can't think of a reason for letting them totally get away with it. In other words, turn the question back on them directly: "If you gave someone a set of towels for a wedding gift, what would you think if they asked you for a different color for their other bathroom?!!!" Or you could conform to this principle in a little more delicate way - just let your jaw drop and say, "I can't believe you asked that! Do you realize what went into that?!"

The person could make a request like this in a way that is not rude. They can mention that they would love to be able to buy something of this quality and ask if you are interested in doing it as a business. That can be taken as a compliment, and you're free to accept and name your price or simply decline. But to ask it in a way that implies that it's just a little favor you should be delighted to do is rude and they should not be allowed to get away with it.

To some extent we bring this sort of problem on ourselves by trying to be modest and self effacing, a behavior pattern many of us were taught as youngsters. If your work is complimented, just say "Thanks, I'm glad you like it!" Never turn away an honest compliment with words like "It was nothing." Plenty of people will take that quite literally.

maryb44662

That makes two of us....been there and done that....I want to make things I want to make not be on a time clock to make something for someone else that I don't even enjoy working on. This has been a great thread!!!

colleen1978

What's wrong with a simple no?

Farm Quilter

This has become a fabulous thread! I have enjoyed reading the responses, vents and suggestions! Since I quilt for others as "job", people have no trouble asking me to make a certain size, style, or color quilt for them...for a price. Since I have done this twice for friends, I have finally figured out that I need to price quilts "made to order" in such a way that I get at least $20/hour for my skills. King size quilts start at $2,000, queen at $1,500, full at $1,000, twin at $750, throw at $500 and baby at $400 - that's the "starting" price, paid in full up front, and it may go up from there, depending on the material used, complexity of the pattern, quilting I do on it and the PITA factor! Don't get too many takers which is just fine by me...these prices are quoted to friends, family, strangers. They need to know that they are getting a one-of-a-kind CUSTOM made quilt!!!

deedum

so many stories and I can relate.. Years ago, my dh co-worker sent some jeans home with him and asked if I would put zippers in them- mend whatever. As a courtesy to my dh I did this. I did state after the second round of this, it would have to stop. I am not in the mending/alternation business! Stopped that quickly, so my neighbor shows up with her dd prom dress, needing alternations. OMG, I did it, then she shows up at my door with a beautiful coat which had a broken zipper. Did that and word got out, that apparently I can do it and I am extremely cheap. Luckily, we moved. Never got it started again, nipped it in the bud before it got started. Til my ds got married, now his wife thinks I can repair her new boots. I always thought, if I ever needed extra money or a parttime job I could go into the alteration business. I remembered what my friend who was in the business told me " Everyone wants things done but don't want to pay much for it". I never forgot that and it applies to quilting too. So I just don't.

Bneighbor

I think it is our duty to inform the "non-crafty" as to what this all involves. I think if we take the approach of informing them that what we do is an art and there is a big difference between "home-made" and " custom-hand-made". To the poster who's sister is a painter, how would she feel if you asked her to paint your living room...I mean, painting is painting, correct?
I do not have to justify the cost of my sewing machine or fabrics. I do not have to make money with my art to pay for them. Actually had someone suggest that I should sew for her to pay for my high- end machine! She said she could also throw me a few bucks to mend her families clothes for them. I don't mend..period. Excuse me, but I spend more on "stuff" than she earned in a year, do not count my money for me. After quoting a price for a costume she wanted, she almost fainted and asked me who I thought I was, some fancy designer?. Told her apparently someone she thought she needed, but can't afford.
I think we allow ourselves to be treated this way because we think we may not be worthy of what we are truly worth. We also have to learn to say no, with feeling and with pity for the person who just does not get it.
Sorry for the rant, but this is a subject that try hits home for me.

deedum

We got to do what we want, make what we want and give what we want and not let others dictate to us. Of course in a nice manner. LOL

oldtisme

Just wanted to say Hello to tessagin, I'm in Corpus Christi too, in the Calallen area! It's nice to see another Quilter post from my area..if I can call myself a quilter as I'm about 1/2 way with my 1st quilt (blocks completed) and trying out the advice I got here for the sash & bindings. Hello tessagin!