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What's the funniest thing a/your child ever asked you?

What's the funniest thing a/your child ever asked you?

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Old 12-01-2010, 02:35 PM
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On the first day of school, my neighbor Lori's 6-year-old daughter Mandy, got off the bus and proceeded to tell her mom that one of the big boys who sat right behind her on the bus kept asking her over and over if she was a virgin. Lori asked "What did you tell him?" Mandy said "I got so mad that I stood up (demonstrating to her mom emphatically with her hands on her hips) and said, "NO I'M NOT!" Curious, Lori asked Mandy if she knew what a virgin was and Mandy said no. So Lori asked her why she gave the boy that answer. Mandy answered, "Because it sounds like a bad word."
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Old 12-01-2010, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Aussie Quilter
When DS was about 5 - he's now45 - we went to a different church to our usual one. When I passed the collection plate to him, instead of putting his money in the plate he took some out. He was told to put it back and to put his money in. His reply was "God told me I could keep my money and take some out of the plate!" The sides-man and everyone in earshot cracked up. I felt like crawling under the pew. The minister said later I should have let him keep it - it was the best he had ever heard.
That is too cute...
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Old 12-01-2010, 02:43 PM
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I was watching the two little boys that my then teenaged daughter usually babysat( while my husband took her to get her drivers permit) and these two were extremely timid for four and five years old. We were outdoors in the back yard when we heard a dog barkin quite a distance away. They both began to cry and wanted to go inside so they wouldn't get bitten by the dog. I said the dog was too far away to bite them and the older one said"it is close enough to bite someone"
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Old 12-01-2010, 02:50 PM
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When my son was 8 I found him sobbing in his room one day shortly before Christmas...his sister had convinced him there was no Santa...and he was really upset about it. I figured that he was old enough for the truth so I had a little chat with him about it and sobbing, he said "And I bet now you're gonna tell me that the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy don't exist either, huh?"...
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Old 12-01-2010, 02:58 PM
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Originally Posted by dungeonquilter
In the tub on evening when he was almost 3, my son was washing his privates, and looked up at me and said "There's candies in there." I still start laughing every time I think of it. He is 33 now.
That is hilarious...I have sons so I can relate...one night at bathtime my little guy was experiencing a little "muscle movement" down there and he said.."Mommy, I don't like that...why is it doing that?..." I said "It's just stretching"..and he turned to me as serious as ever and he said..."Does this ever happen to Daddy?"...I replied.."When you get out of the tub you can go and ask him?" I couldn't stop laughing....My youngest son, when he was about the same age, was also experiencing a little "stretch" down there one night as I was trying to put on his pj bottoms...he looked at me, laughed, and said..."I'm a man now!"

...the same son one night said to me, while he was in the bath and I was washing him..."Mom, don't touch my perverts"...I explained to him that they were "privates" not "perverts"....they had being doing something at school about good touch, bad touch...I cracked up...

I have one more cute story about privates...(maybe my family is obsessed by them?)...one night we were at the cottage and my son and niece were about 3..they just had a bath and were told to run upstairs and put their pj's on...as my sister and I turned to corner to the stairs, there was my naked son, standing on the second step, and my niece, with my son's Fisher Price Drill in her hand, buffing him up with the soft buffer attachment...my sister and I tried not to laugh but we were out of control after they went upstairs...they are 22 now and are disgusted when we bring this story up...
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Old 12-01-2010, 03:38 PM
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My 7 y. (now 33)
I know what oral sex is !
:shock: tell me ...
Itīs when you talk about the sex of plants, animals
:XD:
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Old 12-01-2010, 04:01 PM
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Originally Posted by morelcabin
When my son was 8 I found him sobbing in his room one day shortly before Christmas...his sister had convinced him there was no Santa...and he was really upset about it. I figured that he was old enough for the truth so I had a little chat with him about it and sobbing, he said "And I bet now you're gonna tell me that the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy don't exist either, huh?"...
That is EXACTLY what I said to MY mom!
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Old 12-01-2010, 04:06 PM
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Shortly after my husband & I were married we were at family dinner at my inlaws. I was sitting next to my 4yr old nephew (now 31)& he looked at me & asked "Aunt Maggie, why is Dorothy pregnant?" All conversation seemed to stop as everyone waited to hear how I would answer him. "Because she & Jerry want to have a baby" I told him. That satisfied him & back to his dinner he went!
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Old 12-01-2010, 05:59 PM
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one time when we were at my in laws my oldest son who was about 5 saw that his grandparents had a lot of record albums and he looked at me and said mommy what kind of cds are those?

and this was also the same kid who kept saying look at the clowns mommy! and as us mommys do sometimes i just said yes dear thats nice it took me months to realize he was talking about the "clouds" i still tease him about that one
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Old 12-01-2010, 06:03 PM
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Originally Posted by sunflower126
A bunch of us girls were talking on Thanksgiving about our granddaughters/daughters starting their periods. It reminded me of telling my daughter about what to expect. She turned and looked at me and said "Sorry I'm not having any of those" and went out to play with the little boys across the street.I guess she changed her mind--she has 2 kids! Don't we wish we could dismiss having "those" so easily.
my youngest dd said the same thing.. and she really wishes she had stuck to it...course she's only 17... and thank god, not interested in kids yet!
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