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Thread: Any hints to help with a little bit of empty nest sadness?

  1. #1
    Super Member
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    Hi,
    Am feeling a little down. DS graduated from High School Friday. For the next two days, he's at his college's orientation. I am happy for him, really I am but part of me just wants to wrap him up in batting so he is safe and sound and doesn't get hurt by life. (I know, we all get hurt by life, it wouldn't be life if we didn't but this is how I feel).
    I've never been a smother mother and these feelings are really surprising me. Has anyone else felt this way?
    Thank you,
    lots2do
    PS He is not even going very far, just up the highway about 45 minutes away, but will live there.

  2. #2
    Senior Member renee765's Avatar
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    I'm happy to tell you that you seem perfectly normal to me.

    The first time I dropped my oldest child (of three) off at Pre-School, I cried. The first time I dropped my third child off at Pre-School, I smiled.

    The first time I dropped my first child off at college, I cried. The first time I helped my third child move into her first apartment, I smiled.

    These are all bittersweet moments.

  3. #3
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    When our son moved away to go to college I cryed all the way home.

  4. #4
    Super Member Mamagus's Avatar
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    Suck it up Buttercup! Would you be happier if he had been born with an illness that would have kept him home with you forever!? Be proud and happy that he CAN go. I have a good friend who cries each time she thinks of high school graduation a few years away for her son Josh. He has CP and will be with them as long as they can keep him home.

    I agree with Renee. Cry but let them be tears of happiness. You have been blessed!

  5. #5
    Super Member quiltingnonie's Avatar
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    Ohhhhh I know how you feel ... and it is just one of life's little heartbreaks we just have to deal with. Hope you will be able to take some short visits - but CALL FIRST! Just taking them out to lunch/dinner once in awhile is a big boost.
    One thing my son did was set up my computer with Instant Messaging. I just loved it when I would be online and all of a sudden a message popped up, "Hi, Mom" Of course now there is Text messaging.
    And don't be down if he doesn't come home every weekend. They have so many activities for Freshmen particularly, and it's all a part of college life. And when he does come home, be sure to fix all his favorite things :)
    Good Luck....I know how hard it is...but it DOES get easier. (My DD went away to college the very next year, and it wasn't nearly as hard on me)

  6. #6
    bj
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    Super Member bj's Avatar
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    My son (and only child) didn't go terribly far away, about 100 miles, for his first couple of years. And he came home every weekend. I admit to celebrating my empty nest. I love him dearly and we are very close, but it was just so peaceful.

  7. #7
    CanadianLoon's Avatar
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    Perfectly normal I would say.
    I'm sure many moms on this board can relate to this.
    My daughter is working in Honduras and I still miss her- she is 33!

  8. #8
    Junior Member katmom54's Avatar
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    When my two oldest left, it was just my daughter, husband and me at home...then 2 teenage boys came to stay with us...the next 4 years of high school were a lot of fun with tons of kids around. When they were graduating, I got ENS (empty nest syndrome) pretty bad, since I not only had 2 more kids...but also the bunches of friends that hung around the house. I got a dog to make me feel better - company for those lonely days...my daughter warned her friends at college (only 10 miles away) not to pay attention to the crazy woman that might keep showing up and hanging around the dorm :)...THEN...my oldest came home from the USAF -had been in England...and moved in to finish college...and his GF moved in too...then my middle son came back from Iraq -USMC, +GF -part time resident in the basement...my daughter got tired of dorm living, is back home with BF ...sons 1&2 moved back out eventually, one of the teens moved back in..then the teens sister got pregnant at 16, had nowhere to go, she, baby and dad all moved in for months, then we took care of baby for more than 50% of the time after they left...she made some bad choices about life and and we ended up with a foster child 3 years old now...expecting to adopt -court in July for termination of parent rights...I don't have an empty piece of furniture anymore never mind, empty nest!!!!
    wouldn't have it any other way.....I understand how you feel. Just tell him to call often -

  9. #9
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    Yes it's hard, but our children are not ours...they are lent to us to raise and teach them. Sadly the day comes when they leave home to make their way in the big world... all we can do is hope for the best and be there when life teaches them the hard lessons.

    Give yourself a pat on the back, you did good!! :)

  10. #10
    Moderator Up North's Avatar
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    You are normal! My oldest son went to collage at a University 5 hours away and we dropped him off he was only 17! Every year I found it harder to let him go know it was getting closer to his not coming home in the summers, Now he is a succesful teacher, coach, drives a new Truck and owns a home 15 min from us. My second son chose to go to college out of state-got married and now has 4 children but they chose to live 6 hours away! Middle son is also attending college 6 hours away. second youngest son at 24 just purchased a home 1/2 hour from us, I was so sad but happy for him. I now just have the youngest home but can see it won't be long before he moves on too. Sometimes I feel useless because they no longer NEED me. But I am proud of them all.

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