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Thread: just a sad day

  1. #1
    Super Member Barbm's Avatar
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    I count all of you as my quilting family and I see so much warmth offered to everyone in time of need and I thought I'd share a little bit of my day with you. Today is the 4th anniversary of my brother's "Angel Day"- the day he went to heaven after committing suicide.

    It is and always will be a difficult day for me. I loved my baby brother so much and I knew he had mental illness issues for several years that would ebb and flow. I now know the "why" and the turmoil he had leading up to his death.

    This isn't "feel sorry for me", it's about recognizing mental illness and raising awareness that there's help out there for those who need it. I've chosen to take a life altering moment and educate myself and make it my "soap box" to stand on. It is a sensitive topic but shouldn't be ignored.

    So why am I writing this- to stop everyone else from becoming one of me- a survivor of suicide. Every 16 minutes there's a suicide and every 17 minutes there's another me- a survivor. I hate this statistic, but it sticks with me, day in and day out. I have such a headache today of trying to be brave and act like nothing's wrong but as the day has gone on, I'm crying more and feeling the loss more and more.

    Well, need to wipe the tears and nose, get rid of the red eyes and get back to work. Just needed to make sure I get my message out there- I hope someday my pain can mean someone will get help. If you want to learn more go to ASFP.org and learn some interesting facts.

    Thanks for listening.
    Barb

  2. #2
    fluffbug95's Avatar
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    That is so sad. I am sooooooooooo sorry. Mental illness causes many of things and people need to be more aware of it. I don't know what else to say, since I am only a teenager. lol. Once again I am very very sorry this happened! :-(

    Plenty of hugs to surround you! :)

  3. #3
    Super Member Barbm's Avatar
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    Thanks fluff- suicide is huge among teenagers and college students. You should check the website out, sometimes kids say- I could just kill myself and you never know if they are serious.

    Suicide leaves a lot of unanswered questions and because it happens so suddenly and usually, without warning, it leaves deep emotional questions. I know Lenny is in heaven, God takes care of everyone who is sick and I just hope he found the solace his soul needed.

  4. #4
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    Oh Barb honey. BIG HUGS girl. I'm sorry to hear of this, but so glad your bringing it to our attention. Especially now with the way things are going in the world.... We need to watch for signs. Your in my thoughts and prayers....

  5. #5
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Barb,
    I am so sorry that you lost your brother in such an unimaginable way and am with you in thought on your sad day.

    Do you have a support group in your area or are you familiar with the organization "Friends for Survival" They are a wonderful volunteer organization based in Sacramento, but their outreach via email newsletter is nationwide. I'm including the link: http://www.friendsforsurvival.org/

    My company has helped them with funding, so I've had the opportunity to go to their office where they have a memory quilt that just about breaks your heart. The individuals in the pictures are all smiling and then they are gone.

    BIG HUG from CA

  6. #6
    Super Member beachlady's Avatar
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    So sorry Barb. Hugs for you!

  7. #7
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    Thanks for sharing with us. My heart goes out to you. My son is bi polar. The manic phase is frightening (He thinks he is invincible) but I think the depressed phase is more frightening. You have given voice to my biggest fear. We watch him and regulate his meds. I hope it's enough. I send a big ((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))) your way. My prayers are with you.

  8. #8
    Izy
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    Super Member Izy's Avatar
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    Sending Hugs to you barb, our family has suffered a loss this way, it's so tragic :(

  9. #9
    Super Member Barbm's Avatar
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    Thanks all. It is such a sad sad day.

    I belong to an online support group. Solos SIBS, for those who have lost a sibling to suicide. I am so comforted by these people- we have experienced something that is difficult to put into words. You think you have your parents, your spouse, your children for a lifetime- but look at the time you spend with your siblings- you are them, they are you. You share so much more than the other relationships you develop over time.

    I lost Lenny after 39 short years. He was 4 1/2 years younger than me, my only little brother and my delight. He looked like me and we shared so many common goals. We would have so many deep conversations about life and our careers and children and spouses- you name it, we talked about it. I dug deep into him- touching the sore spots and making him really talk to me. He committed himself in 2000- we saved him then, but often I wondered if there would be a next time. We couldn't save him- he couldn't save himself, the medical field left him down, they said he wasn't a danger to himself or anyone else and they let him go the night before he killed himself.

  10. #10
    BlueChicken's Avatar
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    ((hugs)) from here too.

    The one thing I've learned about grief (apart from that it sucks!) is that you really do need to let yourself grieve. If you feel like curling up in a ball and crying, then do it. Give yourself five minutes, or ten, or half an hour, and just fall apart. THEN get up and get on with it.
    You can't deny the pain, just set the time limit so it doesn't take control of you. Let yourself have a wee bit of weakness, and THEN you can be strong. And while you're not being strong, we will be for you.


    ((more hugs))


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